[Kazanne]

Originally Posted by Joseph the Carpenter

My living room is spotless so f you

[Ross.]

Sounds like you're going through hell Vicky, I really hope it gets better for you because I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through

[Ammi]

....I do think that you need to be firm, Vicky..and very consistent, sort of not trying different things, or should I say doing different things to placate her but everyone, whether it be you, your partner, her grandparents etc all having that same consistency and doing the same thing..it's not being hard, it's giving her structure so giving her security...different actions each time doesn't give her that security...and from what you say, what she knows is by her actions, she can gain your attention...whether it be positive or negative attention, it's equally good to her at her age...

...sorry I don't have a lot of time so only skim read some of your posts and I think your mum is right to an extent but I also think that ..(because you've been quite poorly recently..?..)...some of her behaviour apart from the terrible twos/threes bit could be that she's a very worried little girl, which is not something she's able to communicate, other than behaving in a way that will get your attention...you, your family etc aren't the only influences in her life and all it would take is for someone with good intentions to say something like...mummy will be fine, mummy will be home soon and stuff like that, when you were in hospital...but then, she senses that mummy's not fine or mummy didn't come home when she thought she would..you know, etc, etc...so maybe a very anxious and worried little girl because she obviously loves her mum...so firm and structure/consistency, I think yeah, but reassurance as well...reassuring in a way that you feel that she's understood but always being truthful as well...mummy may have to go back into hospital etc but daddy and grandma are going to be here....sorry this is rushed, I hope it makes sense...her understanding at her age is quite a bit but her communication is much less than that understanding and there many frustrations with that, that will project in tantrum type stuff but there might be a reason of anxiety for that from her beyond a phase and because of what your whole family have been through recently....


...anyways, I always think it's the weirdest thing for healthcare visitors or whatever to comment on a home with children being a mess because of toys everywhere etc...yes it's chaos but it would worry me more and be more of a concern if all of the toys and stuff were in neat boxes and looked as though there wasn't enough play in the house...toys everywhere is the sign of a playing and imaginative child../a good thing....

[Niamh.]

[Vicky.]

My living room is fine now

My bedroom however...its a good thing they never checked in there. Its clogged full of xmas presents everywhere, you can barely move

[Niamh.]

What the **** does she expect anyway when you're only out of hospital and still not fixed, with a troublesome toddler and a baby?

[Vicky.]

Well I know, this is what my complaint is about. I mean, I could understand it if the house was vile. But her issue was literally a few toys in the middle of the floor, a piece of James burger on the floor (that he had just thrown there, was still eating) and that he was eating in his carseat...which he CHOSE to get into

I'm sorry, I'm not sitting with a dustpan and brush throughout my sons whole meal, incase a little bit of food goes onto the floor for what...5 minutes?!

[arista]

Vicky have you watched the Ch4HD series The Secret Life of 4 Year olds?


It was amazing
they put a choc . cake down

Two 4 year olds licked to Top
then told the parent
a big bird flew down and did it.

[Vanessa]

It could be the ear infection that's causing her to behave this way.

[Tom4784]

Adoption is always an option.

[Black Dagger]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Adoption is always an option.

I was going to say this myself. I'm glad somebody else had the idea!!

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Adoption is always an option.

who would take Vicky tho, she cant even keep her gaff tidy

[Niamh.]

Dezzy!

[Vicky.]

[Vicky.]

Just had a long talk with my mum (who is at work on nights for the next week )

She says she will have her once work ends, but for the moment...she reckons Skye is manipulating me? As apparently she is an angel when shes there. My mum reckons she has discovered that going on hysterical upsets us and such and as we gave into her once or twice...she now sees screeching as worth it :S

I wouldn't have thought a 3 year old would manipulate you like...so not sure how to take this?

[Mokka]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Just had a long talk with my mum (who is at work on nights for the next week )

She says she will have her once work ends, but for the moment...she reckons Skye is manipulating me? As apparently she is an angel when shes there. My mum reckons she has discovered that going on hysterical upsets us and such and as we gave into her once or twice...she now sees screeching as worth it :S

I wouldn't have thought a 3 year old would manipulate you like...so not sure how to take this?

It's my experience that they learn to manipulation very young... hence the terrible two's.

My daughter was a lovely two year old and was the devil as a three year old.
Memories I have blocked out until reading this thread

[Niamh.]

she's probably right tbh Vicky, kids will get away with as much as they can.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by ChristmasNeeve

she's probably right tbh Vicky, kids will get away with as much as they can.

I just have a hard job believing what is essentially a baby...can purposely manipulate you?!

But yeah, my mum said to just leave her to cry if nothing else is working. She reckons I will have at least 3 nights of absolute hell but then it should sort itself out and be fine for the months to come

I guess my mother brought us 3 up fine (bar not teaching us to clean out sitting rooms, before trumpet comments ) but some of the things she says seem rather...harsh

[Ninastar]

Probably not much use to you really, but whats your mum like with her? Is she strict? I dont have kids of my own (obviously lol) but I have worked with kids for the last 6+ years and in general, I think kids have a lot more respect/love for stricter parents/teachers/carers. There's a 4 year old girl atm who will kick, hit, scream and everything else at the other members of staff, but as soon as the manager comes down, she stops and calms herself down straight away. The manager literally never gets mad with her anymore, but the little girl knows that the manager does not tolerate certain behaviour and will behave perfectly when the manager is around.

Its difficult when its your own child though. I feel for you, i really do.

[Vicky.]

Yes my mum is very strict, always has been. We have never really needed to be strict with Skye as shes always been pretty much well behaved. I guess now is time to bite the bullet though and be 'mean parents' for a while...

[Ninastar]

i think that might be the best as much as it sucks and will hurt, it will be better off for her in the long run. at a nursery I used to work at, there was one girl who would tantrum so much that she'd throw up and her mum asked her to leave her to it and she stopped within a day or two. Her mum said that she tried it twice at home and they didnt give a reaction, so she tried it with us and started to realise it wasnt working so didnt bother again.

[Ninastar]

jesus christ, just realised I put '4 year old teacher' instead of '4 year old girl' pahahaha

how embarrassing

[Kizzy]

Your mum sounds very wise
Only room for one diva in my house I was lucky never had bedtime shennanigans, after the story I'd put classical FM on low on the landing and that was it.

[Mystic Mock]

My Nephew went through this stage of getting upset when anyone tried to speak to him or even glance at him.

The best thing to do is to tell her off and if that doesn't work then tell her that she won't get her favourite Cartoons on if she keeps screaming, if that doesn't work then threaten to eat all of her favourite Foods.

[Ammi]

...Uncle Mockmas........