[user104658]

Originally Posted by parmnion

A woman was today ordered to pay 750 pound costs gor drunkenly licking a mans face, grabbing his buttocks and lunging for his genitals...and a A list actor may be about to be outed.

Does the guy get the money? This and similar happened to me a couple of times a week when I was at University, I could have made a fortune!

Well, the genital lunging less frequent but the arse groping was literally constant. I don't think I ever got licked, to be fair. Though I did once get essentially forced to have a girl stick her tongue in my face as I was being lowkey threatened "not to make her feel bad" by a group of mainly guys she was with.

And have literally just realised that I was therefore technically sexually assaulted ...

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Does the guy get the money? This and similar happened to me a couple of times a week when I was at University, I could have made a fortune!

Well, the genital lunging less frequent but the arse groping was literally constant. I don't think I ever got licked, to be fair. Though I did once get essentially forced to have a girl stick her tongue in my face as I was being lowkey threatened "not to make her feel bad" by a group of mainly guys she was with.

And have literally just realised that I was therefore technically sexually assaulted ...

Yes, its kind of scary when you realize isn't it. When I thought about it all properly, I remember 10 clear instances of being sexually assaulted, one clear cut case of rape, and one dubious rape case where I don't actually know if it was rape or not as I was forced into it but I just did not say no enough or physically fight enough, and if I had I may well have been able to 'get out of it' if i tried harder rather than just have the ridiculous instinct to freeze. Where previously I thought I had 'only' been assaulted once, and raped once. Too much of this behavior is just something people expect. When no...it really should not be 'normal' to be groped by strangers at all.

I feel I should reply to all (or most of) your posts in here in more detail when I have more time as kind of busy at the moment but your replies have made a lot of sense to me too and yes, there is a kind of self fulfilling prophecy issue to so much of this. And maybe it is sexist to think men are listened to more by other men than women are. But I genuinely do believe this to be the case.

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Also apparently Corey Feldman spoke out about being abused as a kid by higher ups in the movie business too but nobody listened to him either (not sure if he mentioned names though or if Harvey Weinstein was involved)

As far as I know Weinstein was offering favours in exchange for sex, rather than abusing little boys. But didnt both Coreys from Lost Boys come forward?

Originally Posted by parmnion

A woman was today ordered to pay 750 pound costs gor drunkenly licking a mans face, grabbing his buttocks and lunging for his genitals...and a A list actor may be about to be outed.

Gosh, it wouldn't occur to me to take things up with the authorities for something as inconsequential as some random groping me in a club, but I'd go all METOO if I could get nearly a grand from it!

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

As far as I know Weinstein was offering favours in exchange for sex, rather than abusing little boys. But didnt both Coreys from Lost Boys come forward?

Gosh, it wouldn't occur to me to take things up with the authorities for something as inconsequential as some random groping me in a club, but I'd go all METOO if I could get nearly a grand from it!

I'm not sure about Corey Haim but it could definitely have been a reason why he ended up a drug addict and dying so young

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I'm not sure about Corey Haim but it could definitely have been a reason why he ended up a drug addict and dying so young

IIRC he didn't come forward about anything but the "other Corey" has said that this was the case. That's off the top of my head though, from an interview that he gave.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

IIRC he didn't come forward about anything but the "other Corey" has said that this was the case. That's off the top of my head though, from an interview that he gave.

Well those two worked together alot back in the 80's and 90's so it would be pretty likely if Corey Feldman had been abused then Cory Haim probably had been too as they would be around the same people

[Oliver_W]

The discussion about danger perceptions between the two genders is interesting but slightly o/t, maybe it warrants its own thread? But yeah, as far as I know men are better in "flight or fight" situations and making snap decisions due to endocrine and brain chemistry? Though that's slightly different, it's more about how to react to a presented possible threat, rather than perceiving them.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

The discussion about danger perceptions between the two genders is interesting but slightly o/t, maybe it warrants its own thread? But yeah, as far as I know men are better in "flight or fight" situations and making snap decisions due to endocrine and brain chemistry? Though that's slightly different, it's more about how to react to a presented possible threat, rather than perceiving them.

If you can't perceive a threat how can you be better at reacting to it?... :/

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

If you can't perceive a threat how can you be better at reacting to it?... :/

A man drawing a knife is a presented threat which needs to be reacted to, a shifty looking man who just seems dodgy is a possible threat, which apparently women would be better at judging the likelihood of him being an actual danger.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

A man drawing a knife is a presented threat which needs to be reacted to, a shifty looking man who just seems dodgy is a possible threat, which apparently women would be better at judging the likelihood of him being an actual danger.

A man with a knife is an actual threat not a perceived one.

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

A man with a knife is an actual threat not a perceived one.

Dat's wight wabbit.

My argument was that while women might be better at assessing whether or not something is a threat, men are better at reacting to the actual threat.

[Beso]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/new...oman-tube.html

This video of the truth and you at last years tibb get together may illustrate your point vicky.

[James]

Originally Posted by parmnion

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/new...oman-tube.html

I don't know if it is relevant to this thread, but I read this BBC article recently where they did an informal social-experiment in a public park, where they had two actors: in one scenario they had a man shouting at a women for an hour and a half, and in the other the roles were reversed.

When it was the man shouting at the women 7 passers-by stopped to help, and with the roles reversed 1 person stopped.

Here is the article - http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/item/5...d-4516962d5c44

Video here - http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/item/e...9-82a82dbf6ec5

[Beso]

Originally Posted by James

I don't know if it is relevant to this thread, but I read this BBC article recently where they did an informal social-experiment in a public park, where they had two actors: in one scenario they had a man shouting at a women for an hour and a half, and in the other the roles were reversed.

When it was the man shouting at the women 7 passers-by stopped to help, and with the roles reversed 1 person stopped.

Here is the article - http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/item/5...d-4516962d5c44

Video here - http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/item/e...9-82a82dbf6ec5

Thanks. I will read it after work.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by James

I don't know if it is relevant to this thread, but I read this BBC article recently where they did an informal social-experiment in a public park, where they had two actors: in one scenario they had a man shouting at a women for an hour and a half, and in the other the roles were reversed.

When it was the man shouting at the women 7 passers-by stopped to help, and with the roles reversed 1 person stopped.

Here is the article - http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/item/5...d-4516962d5c44

Video here - http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/item/e...9-82a82dbf6ec5

These are done/posted quite regularly.

[Niamh.]

If you click the underlined part of the post it will link you to the article Kizzy

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

If you click the underlined part of the post it will link you to the article Kizzy

Ah, isn't technology fabulous?...

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Ah, isn't technology fabulous?...

[Vicky.]

Would it help if I said instead, all stats we have evidence of say that violence is nearly always from male people? As really, going on what we think happens more is a bit daft.

http://www.refuge.org.uk/about-domes...ce-and-gender/

A 2009 study based on police reports, which accounted for the dynamics of domestic violence, found that only 5% of domestic violence incidents were perpetrated by women in heterosexual relationships

Whilst male/female victims are fairly equal...it still seems to be predominantly, males who are assaulting other males.

Though I would agree that there is a worrying trend of people thinking female DV is somehow acceptable. which is not helped AT ALL by how in films for example, its often a 'funny' scene when a girl slaps a guy for something

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Would it help if I said instead, all stats we have evidence of say that violence is nearly always from male people? As really, going on what we think happens more is a bit daft.

http://www.refuge.org.uk/about-domes...ce-and-gender/



Whilst male/female victims are fairly equal...it still seems to be predominantly, males who are assaulting other males.

Though I would agree that there is a worrying trend of people thinking female DV is somehow acceptable. which is not helped AT ALL by how in films for example, its often a 'funny' scene when a girl slaps a guy for something

But it isn't "all the stats" and it isn't just an assumption or "what we think" - the link you've posted specifically says "based on police reports". The point is that female-on-male violence is drastically under-reported for societal reasons, and because injuries requiring treatment are far less common. When polls have been taken on random samples anonymously, and especially when they don't ask "have you experienced domestic abuse" or use terms like "assault" but instead stick to the basics - "have you ever been struck by a partner" - the stats show that women are perfectly capable of low-level aggression in relationships and it's not uncommon at all. People just don't take it seriously enough to call it abuse or file official complaints.

[Vicky.]

Not trying to trivialize male victims here by the way. Not at all. But when males are assaulted, is would usually still be another male that was doing the assaulting.

'nearly always' to me would mean like, 90ish%+ of the time.

[Vicky.]

Of course women are perfectly capable of low level aggression in relationships too?

Would genuinely like to see some of these studies/polls actually. As I tend to find stuff like that very interesting (maybe to the point of obsessing, sometimes) but never known which to take seriously as they seem to be obviously scewed one way or another depending on the source (an obvious MRA poll would show the totall opposite to a radical feminist one, for example) which is why I go on official stats/data collection sources and much more. But yes, police reports would maybe show different to an anon poll for the reasons you have listed and more

Finally I would never accuse you of being like truth...in ANY way

Going back to game of thrones bingewatch in a sec..so will go back in the morning and reply on the other posts you made earlier in the thread that I do think need a bit more thought/attention than what I am currently putting into posts..

[Niamh.]

I read this on FB and it's so true, women are always shut down, shamed and called liars :

When grown men came forward to report abuse by youth team football coaches they were described as brave, but if women report abuse they are criticised for not doing it sooner.

[Niamh.]

I really like this video
https://www.facebook.com/OccupyDemoc...8455535247493/

[Vicky.]

You know, the black lives matter page just put what I meant by 'not all men are like that' and 'women do it too' in the OP into perfect words

Do you go onto dog charity home pages and say "Cats get abused too, look! Why don't you help cats? And some dogs bite people. Look at this baby who was hurt by a dog."

Nobody would do that because it would be deranged. Yet it is seen as acceptable to do this in response to people trying to discuss problems like sexism or racism.

I never used to understand the BLM movement. I remember being on threads saying 'well why black lives, surely all lives matter'. Its taken me a lot of years, and tackling what I can only say was internalized racism...to fully understand it. I think this soul searching...is whats brought me to understand the wider problem of sexism actually. As until quite recently I was very much a 'females are equal in this country, no need for feminism' kind of person. When really...its not true at all. In law maybe, in actual day to day life, not so much.