[Niamh.]

[Redway]

Originally Posted by MTVN

You see there you are guilty yourself of manipulation in the poll options

Hey, who says manipulation’s a crime anyway?

[bitontheslide]

it's complicated. A person can have a trait that is seen as endearing in one person and heinous in other. Dexter is the obvious example of this

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by bitontheslide

it's complicated. A person can have a trait that is seen as endearing in one person and heinous in other. Dexter is the obvious example of this

I love Dexter !!

I even have the theme tune as my ringtone


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[Redway]

Originally Posted by Zizu

I love Dexter !!

I even have the theme tune as my ringtone


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Do you now?

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Redway

Yeah, people who fall out over political nonsense are beyond ridiculous but when you’re confronted with people who’ve stolen from you, smear-campaigned against you, disrespected someone you care for deeply, they did the dirty with your other half, tried to make your or their issues your identity, betrayed you, all that good stuff. You have the right to draw the line and never get over it, even if you do eventually forgive.

Tbf I understand your point on those lol.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by MTVN

Mm not sure, this thread lists judgemental-ness as a bad trait but you could say this whole thread is judgemental

That's why I chose not forgiving in the poll because I think we should always forgive these traits in others and know that they exist in us too

An interesting point.

[Gusto Brunt]

Selfishness and rudeness.

[Nicky91]

Acidic Traits (Toxicity)

Not willing to forgive

judgemental

[Redway]

People who make being vegan/teetotal a whole persona. A judgemental one at that. I’m still slipping in Wetherspoons for steak and a pint so it doesn’t make a difference what you saying about lettuce, tofu and non-alcoholic wine.

This thing about judgemental toxicity is turning out to be a big one. Just let people do life in the way that they feel is best for them. They’re not you and you’re not them.

[Garfie]

Originally Posted by Redway

Hey, who says manipulation’s a crime anyway?

Sometimes manipulation can be used to encourage someone to do something that would benefit them?

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Redway

People who make being vegan/teetotal a whole persona. A judgemental one at that. I’m still slipping in Wetherspoons for steak and a pint so it doesn’t make a difference what you saying about lettuce, tofu and non-alcoholic wine.

This thing about judgemental toxicity is turning out to be a big one. Just let people do life in the way that they feel is best for them. They’re not you and you’re not them.

[Redway]

Hey, lettuce tastes bad. Real bad. (#teamcabbage)

[Nicky91]

Originally Posted by Redway

Hey, lettuce tastes bad. Real bad. (#teamcabbage)

lettuce you can eat raw


cabbage you must cook


lettuce is nice, with all sorts of dressings in salads honestly



i like cabbage too btw, i used to dislike brussel sprouts as a child but now i love them



conical or oxheart ones are the only ones i dislike of cabbages, way too bland (tastes like nothingness when boiled)

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Nicky91

lettuce you can eat raw


cabbage you must cook


lettuce is nice, with all sorts of dressings in salads honestly



i like cabbage too btw, i used to dislike brussel sprouts as a child but now i love them



conical or oxheart ones are the only ones i dislike of cabbages, way too bland (tastes like nothingness when boiled)

Yeah, sorry, not a lettuce fan.

[Redway]

People using prayer as an excuse to gossip about people over things that aren’t currently confirmed to be true. Some of those Zoom Friday night calls can be brutal.

Stuff like that in general. Will Smith might’ve been wrong to engage in a punch-up at that awards ceremony but in general “keep my name out of your mouth” is something that’s important to remember when you’re talking to more than a couple of people at a time about someone you don’t necessarily even know that well.

A loose tongue stirs up conflict on the grounds of something that might not even be true or still relevant, and unnecessarily gives people the wrong impression about the gossipee if they believe it unquestionably. Say it in a closed circle of literally one or two people if you have to say it. Beyond that it’s not just healthy conversation or spiritual-welfare concern (or whatever the case may be). It’s talking too much and too indiscreetly and at that point you’re a gossip. It doesn’t matter how good your intentions are. That’s not the point. You’re taking out someone’s right to personal dignity for them and at your own indiscretion-behest just because you can’t keep your mouth shut. Some things are best left unsaid or said privately if it has to be said at all (like I say). Nothing wrong with a bit of healthy gossip at all but slandering people openly and making judgemental assumptions about people for all to hear is not healthy gossip, nor is it a Christian value (if this is coming from a spirit of prayer).

Someone who’s already a bit cynical through negative experiences or paranoid about people gossiping about them in the first place will take that and take it to heart if they overhear it, and they might not ever get over it fully. Some people have to sleep with fans on just to (besides canning out noise from louder people in the environment) stop all of that poison potentially coming to their ears because of how tough slandering can be on someone’s mental health. Talking indiscreetly about them under the guise of spiritual-welfare concern (and it might genuinely be that) or trash-talking openly just for the sake of it is just confirming what is already a jaded expectation for them and giving them more reason to cut people off and be bitter and cynical about putting their trust in people. So gossip discreetly if you gonna gossip and take whatever it is you think or you’ve heard with a pinch of salt if you don’t know the person that well. You might not mean maliciously but still shut up and keep the window closed instead of openly talking too much. If you then turn around tomorrow and try and pally up with/befriend them after dragging their name through mpoto-mpoto mud, you’re tapped. And the joke’s on you if they already know. Why would they want anything to do with you after that point if you’re not so close to them that they’ll be more inclined to look for reasons to forgive you?

Also. People who can’t do anything quietly. I tend to be wary of people who are very, very extraverted. If it’s not too much indiscretion in their talking and over-gossiping, it’s too much unnecessary noise and not being able to sit still or close a door quietly. And a general lack of respect for basic personal-boundary principles. It shouldn’t be hard to not get too close to a stranger when they’re walking or avoid honing in too intensely on a subject that’s obviously raw for someone just because you want to keep talking but a lot of people just can’t help themselves. And it’s suffocating to be around.

[UserSince2005]

When they think they are hot and sexy and they just ain’t

[Redway]

People who do you dirty expecting to worm their way back in and for you to keep being the uniformly nice person they took for granted. The rightful attitude they deserve when you’re either jaded off the back of it or very-much moved on is far from nice.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by UserSince2005

When they think they are hot and sexy and they just ain’t

That’s what grinds your gears at your big age?

[Redrose]

Originally Posted by UserSince2005

When they think they are hot and sexy and they just ain’t

Yes, and they always wear the most skimpy outfits.

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by UserSince2005

When they think they are hot and sexy and they just ain’t

David .. Celeb Big Brother ?


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[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Redrose

Yes, and they always wear the most skimpy outfits.

David - Celeb Big Brother ?


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[Redway]

People calling their parents narcissists because their values clash with theirs is another one, however you’d classify that. Real narcissistic abuse can break someone so mind and be careful about how you use the word.

[Redway]

People who have a narrow idea of what’s masculine and feminine (also) tend to end up shooting themselves in the foot with the contradictory hypocrisy of it all.