[GypsyGoth]

Originally Posted by Miranda123

So terrified that she returned to the safe house, climbed into bed with him and cuddled him to sleep..................................

Here is your answer.........................................

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

In the moment he tried to headbutt her face, she was terrified. She knew then things had gotten out of control and he was like a different person. BB called him to the DR the moment he put her in danger.

After he had calmed down, the lead up to the situation wasn't going to repeat itself. The danger had passed and he was like his normal self again. But that doesn't diminish the fact that she was terrified in that moment.

[Miranda123]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

Here is your answer.........................................

OH I GET IT NOW

a guy you hardly know (but are more than eager to be alone with) uses threatening behaviour towards you and 'terrifies' you

But, wait a minute, he seems to be calming down now, what should I do

Answers:

A. Run a bleeding mile

B. Run a bleeding mile

C. Jump into bed beside him and spoon him for the rest of the evening and then wake up and kiss him and say 'Good Morning Husband'

Obviously its C..............DOH

[GypsyGoth]

Originally Posted by Miranda123

OH I GET IT NOW

a guy you hardly know (but are more than eager to be alone with) uses threatening behaviour towards you and 'terrifies' you

But, wait a minute, he seems to be calming down now, what should I do

Answers:

A. Run a bleeding mile

B. Run a bleeding mile

C. Jump into bed beside him and spoon him for the rest of the evening and then wake up and kiss him and say 'Good Morning Husband'

Obviously its C..............DOH

Her actions might not seem rational to you, but you'd have to be in a situation like that to know how you'd act, and I hope you never are. What she faced was scary and really menacing.

By keeping the focus on Hazel you're what,

A. Trying to understand her actions?

B. Deflecting others attention away his sickening behaviour?

C. Trying to justify what he did in some way?

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Miranda123

OH I GET IT NOW

a guy you hardly know (but are more than eager to be alone with) uses threatening behaviour towards you and 'terrifies' you

But, wait a minute, he seems to be calming down now, what should I do

Answers:

A. Run a bleeding mile

B. Run a bleeding mile

C. Jump into bed beside him and spoon him for the rest of the evening and then wake up and kiss him and say 'Good Morning Husband'

Obviously its C..............DOH

The same reason abused partners stay around, once they've returned to normal and are their regular selves, they forgive, forget and hope to move on.

Unfortunately for Daley, in the BB house only one incident is enough to get you thrown out.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Miranda123

So terrified that she returned to the safe house, climbed into bed with him and cuddled him to sleep..................................

She was scared of him during the incident - it doesn't mean that she suddenly stopped liking him or thinking that, generally, he's her friend (possibly slightly more). Christ... people stay in full on abusive relationships for years where most of the time things are good, but one (or both) people get out of hand sometimes (often with a drink in them).

So yeah... she knew the situation had been defused, she was glad to be out of it, she didn't really have time to process what had gone on but was happy to see "normal Daley" back again and wanting to cuddle up is actually quite understandable. Think of a child who is hit or verbally abused by their parent: all they want, is for their parent to "be nice again" and give them a cuddle. The incident didn't make her hate him... it just shocked her and she wanted him to "be nice again". She tries to get things back to being silly / nice / flirty during the lead up to being pinned down, but he doesnt listen until Big Brother calls him away. After they had both been to the diary room, she was just glad to have him back, I reckon.

I don't think any of it made her dislike him; she just saw a side of him that she wasn't comfortable with. I doubt she wanted to see him kicked out, either.

[GypsyGoth]

BB dropped the ball on this, a volatile guy like that should never have been let into the house. The place is meant to be a safe one to flirt with and have fun with whomever. Hazel's confidence was born out of the fact she knew there were security on the other side of the door.

Anyway trying to turn the spotlight onto her is just madness and shows how backwards this world can be at times. Was Hazel too flirtatious? So she earned a near headbutt to her face and her throat grabbed pinning her to the bed.

Daley is the one people should be focusing on and condemning for his horrid actions. What he did was wrong!

[Jords]

I still cant believe on national TV that Daley gripped Hazel around the neck, he is mad.

Without that, it was bad roleplay, Hazel herself if I recall correctly said something about "I can handle an aggressive man" in a flirty dirty way, but that was taking 10 strides right across the line.

I dont think he would have ever hit her though.

[DanielLuis]

It was visible that she was a bit scared during the incident.

[Jords]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

Go to 3:52 on this vid

Youtube video

wow I think the internet distracted me so I didnt catch that, Hazel was scared at that point definitely.

Its so confusing though, I watched that whole clip. I cant seem to find the point where things were getting nasty. I actually didnt realise that Hazel slapped Daley's arse first, but her and his return both seem like playfight and they both were laughing. Even when Hazel pulled down his shorts he was laughing and its somewhere after he got angry, at first it does seem like aggressive roleplay building up to snogging each other's faces off but that leant in headbutt no no thats scary.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Jords

Its so confusing though, I watched that whole clip. I cant seem to find the point where things were getting nasty.

The whole thing was charged with sexual aggression from both, she tries to calm it down once or twice throughout but sort of keeps going with it. He doesn't actually get "nasty"... he thinks he's being sexually dominant, he doesn't realise she doesn't like it. The exact point where it goes too far (for her) is 3.35 where he grabs her neck and says "pipe down". Completely changes in tone there. The problem isn't what he said or did - which would have been fine if she was into it. Each to their own, right? The problem was that it should have been pretty clear and he should have realised that it was a step too far and she wasn't comfortable any more, but he didn't, he was too wrapped up in it to notice. Which really is a problem. When you're playing that sort of "game" you HAVE to know that the game is still "on" or you risk very dodgy situations and that's exactly what happened.

[Jords]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

The whole thing was charged with sexual aggression from both, she tries to calm it down once or twice throughout but sort of keeps going with it. He doesn't actually get "nasty"... he thinks he's being sexually dominant, he doesn't realise she doesn't like it. The exact point where it goes too far (for her) is 3.35 where he grabs her neck and says "pipe down". Completely changes in tone there. The problem isn't what he said or did - which would have been fine if she was into it. Each to their own, right? The problem was that it should have been pretty clear and he should have realised that it was a step too far and she wasn't comfortable any more, but he didn't, he was too wrapped up in it to notice. Which really is a problem. When you're playing that sort of "game" you HAVE to know that the game is still "on" or you risk very dodgy situations and that's exactly what happened.

I think thats a very good post! Good analysis.

[Kizzy]

Women stay in toxic relationships because they (wrongly) take on the blame for the behaviours of their abusers... A bit like hazel here actually, you can see she's feeling guilty that daley has been ejected and may even think it's her fault due to her flirting.
Which of course is rollocks, daley is an adult with a brain he is the only person to be held accountable for his actions.

[GypsyGoth]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Women stay in toxic relationships because they (wrongly) take on the blame for the behaviours of their abusers... A bit like hazel here actually, you can see she's feeling guilty that daley has been ejected and may even think it's her fault due to her flirting.
Which of course is rollocks, daley is an adult with a brain he is the only person to be held accountable for his actions.

I think that's a wonderful point

Sadly it'll be lost on people here who seem to condone his behaviour.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

I think that's a wonderful point

Sadly it'll be lost on people here who seem to condone his behaviour.

Thankyou gypsy I know as I spent two years feeling like that, until the scales fell from my eyes.

[optimisticcynic]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Thankyou gypsy I know as I spent two years feeling like that, until the scales fell from my eyes.

I empathise with your self-disclosure, but maintain you are projecting your experiences without sufficient evidence as to his intentions or thoughts.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by optimisticcynic

I empathise with your self-disclosure, but maintain you are projecting your experiences without sufficient evidence as to his intentions or thoughts.

Not at all, I can however sense when an atmosphere has soured that never leaves you.

[YodaBB]

Jesus, people on the channel 5 website are all saying she should be removed as well..

A guy pins a girl to a bed and threatens to headbutt her for not respecting him, and everyone rushes to their computers to cry outrage that she isn't also out for her behaviour. Just, wow.

And this is coming from someone who dislikes Hazel.

[Roy Mars III]

Originally Posted by YodaBB

Jesus, people on the channel 5 website are all saying she should be removed as well..

A guy pins a girl to a bed and threatens to headbutt her for not respecting him, and everyone rushes to their computers to cry outrage that she isn't also out for her behaviour. Just, wow.

And this is coming from someone who dislikes Hazel.

she deserved a warning for that pants thing, but it is ridiculous to even entertain the idea of her being ejected

[Roy Mars III]

it would be pretty odd if she wasn't scared, it was a scary situation for anyone to be in. It obviously started out as play fighting but Daley changed halfway through or so and got serious (even if he thought he was play fighting). There was no indication that I could see that he was joking around. I think anyone would be afraid in that situation. Daley is a big guy and who knows what he could potentially do. I know I would be ****ting myself in a similar situation. No one should be able to put someone in the position and still be in the house

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Roy Mars III

it would be pretty odd if she wasn't scared, it was a scary situation for anyone to be in. It obviously started out as play fighting but Daley changed halfway through or so and got serious (even if he thought he was play fighting). There was no indication that I could see that he was joking around. I think anyone would be afraid in that situation. Daley is a big guy and who knows what he could potentially do. I know I would be ****ting myself in a similar situation. No one should be able to put someone in the position and still be in the house

I think people can only see it from the outside perspective; if you imagine the whole scene from her viewpoint, it's extremely intense. I also can't help but think the same situation in private, without the cameras and Big Brother to intervene, would have gotten even worse. Not because he's evil and wanted to hurt her but because he really had no clue that she was scared, so he would have carried on.

Daley had to be thrown out for it. If anything, so that he might realise how he was so very wrong when he looks back at it, and be more mindful in these situations in future.

[Roy Mars III]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I think people can only see it from the outside perspective; if you imagine the whole scene from her viewpoint, it's extremely intense. I also can't help but think the same situation in private, without the cameras and Big Brother to intervene, would have gotten even worse. Not because he's evil and wanted to hurt her but because he really had no clue that she was scared, so he would have carried on.

Daley had to be thrown out for it. If anything, so that he might realise how he was so very wrong when he looks back at it, and be more mindful in these situations in future.

yea, it's easy to watch it and say that she wasn't scared and that she knew he was play fighting. Maybe she is lying, but I will assume she's not seeing that the situation was so intense and scary. I think a lot of the people arguing that she is somehow lying about being scared just don't like the girl and their negative opinion of her is clouding their judgement

[CaudleHalbard]

Originally Posted by MTVN

So messing around saying she wants a hug before going to sleep is now an instigator to being threatened like that?

Hazel was doing more than talking. Watch the videos FFS.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by CaudleHalbard

Hazel was doing more than talking. Watch the videos FFS.

There's no need to be so rude!
She did nothing to make him react in the way he did, stop trying to justify it, it's impossible.

[optimisticcynic]

My opinion does not significantly differ from Toy Soldier's other than the fact I feel they are equally to blame for commencing down the sexual roleplay route, with no adult discussion of boundaries or expectations, especially in the absence of any true knowledge of each other, and with any potential communication stifled by the pretence that their behaviour is borne of no sexual tension/energy. It's very similar to watching two boys wrestling and stating "this will end in tears" as they lack the ability to recognise or communicate escalation until it is too late. I still believe Daley meant Hazel no harm and probably thought she'd be aroused by his behaviour and in this sense, the situation has been sensationalised instead of both parties sharing responsibility.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by optimisticcynic

My opinion does not significantly differ from Toy Soldier's other than the fact I feel they are equally to blame for commencing down the sexual roleplay route, with no adult discussion of boundaries or expectations, especially in the absence of any true knowledge of each other, and with any potential communication stifled by the pretence that their behaviour is borne of no sexual tension/energy. It's very similar to watching two boys wrestling and stating "this will end in tears" as they lack the ability to recognise or communicate escalation until it is too late. I still believe Daley meant Hazel no harm and probably thought she'd be aroused by his behaviour and in this sense, the situation has been sensationalised instead of both parties sharing responsibility.

I 100% disagree, him muttering on the way to the diary room he just wanted his cover and to go to sleep says to me he wasn't thinking of getting amorous at all.