[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Strictly Jake

I know my dad would give me proper whollops as a kid, I had the wooden spoon at some point it snapped in half , I was threatened with a belt I don't think he used it though. I even got pinned to the wall at one time. I was so scared I would pee myself, looking back its not good parenting but I did show him respect. I think I was a very well behaved kid so I don't know what I did to deserve it... That said I get on really well with my dad now

I need to learn to discipline my kids properly I'd never whallop them but I do give a light tap on a hand especially if I have asked a lot of times I'd never use it as a first resort, and I do raise my voice and shout a bit too quickly which doesn't even work anyway so that needs work...

Everyone who smacks, or is considering it says stuff like this. However, everyone knows a 'light tap on the hand' would do nothing at all, so would be pointless. It seems hard for people to acknowledge that they are hitting a child, not 'tapping' them. I get it though..the use of language like that to convice yourself that its all fine...

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Everyone who smacks, or is considering it says stuff like this. However, everyone knows a 'light tap on the hand' would do nothing at all, so would be pointless. It seems hard for people to acknowledge that they are hitting a child, not 'tapping' them. I get it though..the use of language like that to convice yourself that its all fine...

Exactly, if you're not hitting to hurt then it's pointless and will not give them any sort of "lesson"

[Parmy]

Shouting in a child's face will effect them more negatively than a smacked arse will.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by parmnion

Shouting in a child's face will effect them more negatively than a smacked arse will.

I wouldn't shout in anyone's face

[user104658]

Originally Posted by parmnion

Shouting in a child's face will effect them more negatively than a smacked arse will.

Probably but it's not one or the other... you can just do neither of those...

[Alf]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Probably but it's not one or the other... you can just do neither of those...

What if you asked your child to do something and they told you to fook off, and repeated doing that every time you asked them to do or not do something.

This happens. How do you deal with it?

[Ammi]

...raising a hand to a child is displaying the very opposite of self control, which is what they’re meant to be learning...

[Alf]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...raising a hand to a child is displaying the very opposite of self control, which is what they’re meant to be learning...

Doing wrong things in life, comes with consequences is the lesson, I think

[Parmy]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Probably but it's not one or the other... you can just do neither of those...

Parenting is simple...


Just be as big a kid as they are..they will always look up to you..

Until they are bigger than you, but the jobs already been done by then...let them moan about not having any discipline in thier lIves when they were younger as they explain away thier flaws in thier 40s..

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by parmnion

Parenting is simple...


Just be as big a kid as they are..they will always look up to you..

Until they are bigger than you, but the jobs already been done by then...let them moan about not having any discipline in thier lIves when they were younger as they explain away thier flaws in thier 40s..

You can discipline kids without hitting them. Many perfectly rounded adults were not hit as children.

[Parmy]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

You can discipline kids without hitting them. Many perfectly rounded adults were not hit as children.

And many were..maybe parents should be allowed to judge how thier own kids would react to certain disciplines or what thier own kid needs for discipline.

[Alf]

They'll go through much, much more stress and trauma in their lives than getting a tanned arse for misbehaving.

[Elliot]

somethings always rubbed me the wrong way about using violence to discipline children

[Jessica.]

Hitting kids is so primitive. Whenever I experienced it or witnessed it, it was always because the parent was angry or didn't know what else to do. Very sad.

[arista]

Originally Posted by Jessica.

Hitting kids is so primitive. Whenever I experienced it or witnessed it, it was always because the parent was angry or didn't know what else to do. Very sad.

Many things are
including the Spanish Bull race through Streets,

[Jessica.]

Originally Posted by arista

Many things are

including the Spanish Bull race through Streets,

Yeah, I don't think that should be done either. I've never supported anything like that though. I stand by my opinion that physically hurting children as a form of punishment is oafish.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Jessica.

Yeah, I don't think that should be done either. I've never supported anything like that though. I stand by my opinion that physically hurting children as a form of punishment is oafish.

I agree, I constantly see this suggestion that smacking can be done in a level-headed, deliberate way without anger as a fully considered part of parenting... and yet, I have literally NEVER seen a parent hit a child when it wasn't simply a case of them getting angry and losing control. I think "calm smacking" is a lie and an excuse.

[Parmy]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I agree, I constantly see this suggestion that smacking can be done in a level-headed, deliberate way without anger as a fully considered part of parenting... and yet, I have literally NEVER seen a parent hit a child when it wasn't simply a case of them getting angry and losing control. I think "calm smacking" is a lie and an excuse.

Wasn't that how it used to be done..the father would put the naughty child over his knee when he came home from work...I think I was parented by a man who experienced that...it made him chase me from the living room up and half way up the stairs to smack my bare legs a good few times in a total rage ...that made me the father I am...I think my grandkids upbringing will be peaceful.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I agree, I constantly see this suggestion that smacking can be done in a level-headed, deliberate way without anger as a fully considered part of parenting... and yet, I have literally NEVER seen a parent hit a child when it wasn't simply a case of them getting angry and losing control. I think "calm smacking" is a lie and an excuse.

"Calm smacking" seems even weirder