[jet]

Originally Posted by Jack_

Again this it's seriously ironic that I'm the one being told I'm blocking a discussion from happening when I'm the person that's encouraging one. I've given my opinion, justified it with reasons and the responses I'm receiving aren't counter arguments you'd expect on a discussion forum which you all keep wanting to mention, but rather 'this is ma opinion and I'll effin say it!!!!'. Well sure, but if someone disagrees expect to be pulled up on it, and be prepared to justify it. That is a how a discussion forum works

But other people have given their reasons - they think it's disrespectful; they think it's sometimes a one - person decision and the other party just goes along with it to keep seeing the person etc. You are demanding that people give you a reason WHY they think as they do, but you haven't given your reasons why YOU feel about it the way you do. You've said its nobodies business but the people involved in the relationship even though it has been made public by the Marco himself but WHY do YOU feel like that? Where did that opinion come from? That isn't so easy to explain but it's really what you are demanding of others.
Some people like a good thriller and some prefer a comedy. Some people like going to night clubs and some prefer a quiet night in with friends. Some people think hall passes are fine and some think they aren't for various reasons. People and their personal opinions are extremely complicated and how those opinions have been formed can't always be explained and articulated.

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..I think that his fiancé also said that she didn't expect him to use his hall pass so soon though, Jack..and it was pretty quick..(which is also why it all seems very contrived between Marco and his fiancé to me..)....and he also added to it that they had an open relationship, which she has denied...so the very bringing up of it../the pass and the open relationship by him and some inconsistencies between them both, is surely something that is going to be discussed...and either Niamh or Josy have pondered whether his pass and the mention of an open relationship may not be so mutual, but maybe more what he wants ..so would show a very selfish and self-absorbed person, is that not something which is very relevant for discussion and indeed, criticism as well....

If his fiancé turns around and says she's not happy with the way he is acting or that she didn't grant a hall pass (although she's said she did) then I'll retract and reassess my position. While ever we're under the impression that everything is above board and has been agreed to, there's nothing to criticise. That said, it would be her word against his if she decides to change her story which would make it messy but like I said, if this isn't what she agreed to then yes I'd agree it's obviously disrespectful, which I agree saying it's an open relationship if it isn't is too

Regarding whether it's what he wants though, if that is what the two of them have agreed to - that he is allowed a hall pass but she isn't - that's a mutual agreement that if she didn't want she could have refused. Do I think that's fair? No. Do I think in situations like these or fully fledged open relationships they should exist on mutually agreed terms where both parties are equals? Yes. But it isn't down to me to decide, if two people come to an agreement where it's a case of one rule for one and a different one for the other, that's their prerogative and their business and all power to them

I agree we may be looking at another Steph/Jeremy/Sam situation that's been contrived for press attention though in which case his fiancé obviously wouldn't care and all I'd really have to say is...genius job

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by jet

But other people have given their reasons - they think it's disrespectful; they think it's sometimes a one - person decision and the other party just goes along with it to keep seeing the person etc. You are demanding that people give you a reason WHY they think as they do, but you haven't given your reasons why YOU feel about it the way you do. You've said its nobodies business but the people involved in the relationship even though it has been made public by the Marco himself but WHY do YOU feel like that? Where did that opinion come from? That isn't so easy to explain but it's really what you are demanding of others.
Some people like a good thriller and some prefer a comedy. Some people like going to night clubs and some prefer a quiet night in with friends. Some people think hall passes are fine and some think they aren't for various reasons. People and their personal opinions are extremely complicated and how those opinions have been formed can't always be explained and articulated.

But as I keep saying and asking, how is it up to anyone else but the people involved in a relationship to determine whether it's disrespectful or not? I think Marco and his fiancé are more then capable of deciding the terms of their own relationship, they are the only ones that can actually be disrespected in this scenario after all. No one can speak for them.

If it's a one person decision and the other person has gone alone with it, then sorry but as sad as that may be, they both agreed to it. She's entitled to say no or ditch him if she chooses, and a lot of people on here have speculated she's only with him for his money and status (which I think is disrespectful in itself funnily enough), in which case what does it matter? If that's what she's doing then all power to her too

I've explained why I've held this opinion plenty of times. I don't feel it is mine or anyone else's place to determine whether someone else's relationship is 'disrespectful' just because I or someone else has a personal opposition to having hall passes and open relationships. Whether I would personally have them is irrelevant, other people are entitled to and they're entitled to have them without people saying their relationship is 'disrespectful' or effectively a shambles just because they wouldn't have one themselves, it's closed minded nonsense. I am a liberal, it is 2016 and I think we should live and let live and leave people to conduct their own relationships however they please.

[Vanessa]

Just read. On DS that Laura confirmed her and Marco did have sex. But no doubt people will say it's all his fault and ahe's a victim here. When it takes two to tango. She's going for the sympathy angle to get away with it. I hope she goes first

[Vanessa]

And it's working, because now everyone blames Marco and Laura gets away with it Scott free

[Jack_]

Vanessa stop enabling the slut shaming

Neither of them are to blame, they are consenting adults

[Niamh.]

Are they accusing Marco of raping Laura? If not then i don't see how both him and Laura aren't responsible for having sex?I'm not getting this blame him/her for thing?

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Are they accusing Marco of raping Laura? If not then i don't see how both him and Laura aren't responsible for having sex?I'm not getting this blame him/her for thing?

Two days ago Bots did accuse him of coercing Laura into sex. Yesterday they were backtracking.

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by Jack_

Vanessa stop enabling the slut shaming

Neither of them are to blame, they are consenting adults

I'm not. I think they're consenting adults and can do what they want. But Marco taking the blame pisses me off.

[Pete.]

He should be he's cheating on his fiancée and lying to Laura about being in an open relationship. Justice for Laura

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Are they accusing Marco of raping Laura? If not then i don't see how both him and Laura aren't responsible for having sex?I'm not getting this blame him/her for thing?

Everywhere I read online everyone say it's his fault. I think it's unfair, that's all.

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by Pete.

He should be he's cheating on his fiancée and lying to Laura about being in an open relationship. Justice for Laura

He still had the pass.

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Pete.

He should be he's cheating on his fiancée and lying to Laura about being in an open relationship. Justice for Laura

He's not cheating on his fiancé if he has a hall pass which said fiancé has confirmed

[RichardG]

marco is a moron regardless of what he does with laura, get him out

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Vanessa

Everywhere I read online everyone say it's his fault. I think it's unfair, that's all.

His fault? you make it sound like some kind of an accident She looked into it but he did look like he was pressing things on pretty quickly, still she should have told him to back off if she wasn't into it. But anyway, she's not said he pushed her into it so no point blaming her

[jet]

Originally Posted by Jack_

But as I keep saying and asking, how is it up to anyone else but the people involved in a relationship to determine whether it's disrespectful or not? I think Marco and his fiancé are more then capable of deciding the terms of their own relationship, they are the only ones that can actually be disrespected in this scenario after all. No one can speak for them.

If it's a one person decision and the other person has gone alone with it, then sorry but as sad as that may be, they both agreed to it. She's entitled to say no or ditch him if she chooses, and a lot of people on here have speculated she's only with him for his money and status (which I think is disrespectful in itself funnily enough), in which case what does it matter? If that's what she's doing then all power to her too

I've explained why I've held this opinion plenty of times. I don't feel it is mine or anyone else's place to determine whether someone else's relationship is 'disrespectful' just because I or someone else has a personal opposition to having hall passes and open relationships. Whether I would personally have them is irrelevant, other people are entitled to and they're entitled to have them without people saying their relationship is 'disrespectful' or effectively a shambles just because they wouldn't have one themselves, it's closed minded nonsense. I am a liberal, it is 2016 and I think we should live and let live and leave people to conduct their own relationships however they please.

Yes you have, and other people have given reasons why they don't have the same opinion. But as I said above, you haven't said how you came to hold the opinion that it's no - one else's place to be critical of a relationship the person himself has made public, yet you want others to explain why they think it's disrespectful etc.
If I say that in my experience I have witnessed friends/friends of friends relationships falling apart because they thought they could handle an 'open' relationship and it always failed and led to great distress and that is why I don't think they are a good idea; that I have personally witnessed having respect for each other leads to a more loving and fulfilling relationship that lasts - is that more what you are looking for - reasons why we think like we do? Or not?

[Pete.]

Originally Posted by Vanessa

He still had the pass.

Originally Posted by Jack_

He's not cheating on his fiancé if he has a hall pass which said fiancé has confirmed

Me caring it's cheating in my eyes, it's clear they don't have a strong relationship anyway

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

His fault? you make it sound like some kind of an accident She looked into it but he did look like he was pressing things on pretty quickly, still she should have told him to back off if she wasn't into it. But anyway, she's not said he pushed her into it so no point blaming her

I think there's no one to blame. They're consenting adults

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Pete.

Me caring it's cheating in my eyes, it's clear they don't have a strong relationship anyway

But it isn't cheating, you can pretend it is because you hate Marco all you like, it doesn't make it cheating

[Vanessa]

Laura playing the victim does piss me off no end.

[jet]

Originally Posted by Vanessa

Everywhere I read online everyone say it's his fault. I think it's unfair, that's all.

They are 2 consenting adults having sex so it's not his fault. However all along I think Marco drove the relationship because he is a very dominant personality whereas Laura seems more compliant, which occurs a lot in relationships anyway.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Vanessa

Laura playing the victim does piss me off no end.

how is she playing the victim though?

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

how is she playing the victim though?

Trying to get people to feel sorry for her.

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by jet

They are 2 consenting adults having sex so it's not his fault. However all along I think Marco drove the relationship because he is a very dominant personality whereas Laura seems more compliant, which occurs a lot in relationships anyway.

It just pisses me off people saying it's his fault when they're two contenting adults.

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by jet

Yes you have, and other people have given reasons why they don't have the same opinion. But as I said above, you haven't said how you came to hold the opinion that it's no - one else's place to be critical of a relationship the person himself has made public, yet you want others to explain why they think it's disrespectful etc.
If I say that in my experience I have witnessed friends/friends of friends relationships falling apart because they thought they could handle an 'open' relationship and it always failed and led to great distress and that is why I don't think they are a good idea; that I have personally witnessed having respect for each other leads to a more loving and fulfilling relationship that lasts - is that more what you are looking for - reasons why we think like we do? Or not?

I hold the opinion because I've never understood why people think it's their business to be commenting on the relationships of other people unless asked by them to do so. Participating in a TV show doesn't change that either, by 'making it public' all they've done is have one half say on a programme that runs for 48 minutes a night that he has a hall pass, and the other half day on a social media platform that the hall pass does indeed exist. It's not like we know the ins and outs of their relationship is it, certainly nowhere near enough to determine whether either of them are being disrespected? Unless people have access to a 24/7 live feed of them in their daily lives that I'm not aware about? I always say the same thing about other high profile relationships or ones which make the news, it is no one's business for example who's to blame for Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift breaking up or who was 'disrespected' (if anyone) there, it's no ones business to comment on a young man being in a relationship with an older women or vice versa (that 'age gap love' ****). It's their choice, their business and their relationship. Live and let live and leave people to determine what goes on in their own relationships

Not really, because while you may know people for whom open relationships haven't worked, I and others may do. This of course works vice versa but regardless of who and what we know, our experiences are not universal either way. We only know and have experienced a tiny percentage of the overall existence of them, it is impossible to make a judgement on every single open relationship to ever exist.

For some they work, for some they don't. But neither you nor I know the ins and outs of those we are not close to, so it impossible and totally not our place to be saying that it's 'disrespectful', that is for the people involved in it to decide