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Old 13-10-2024, 04:00 PM #176
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That’s precisely why its sooooo exhausting and frustrating !


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…you are diagnosed with both conditions, Zizu…?…
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Old 13-10-2024, 04:09 PM #177
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…you are diagnosed with both conditions, Zizu…?…

Initially Dyslexia , then later on Aspergers and more recently ADHD


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Old 13-10-2024, 04:11 PM #178
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Initially Dyslexia , then later on Aspergers and more recently ADHD


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Our son and daughter are both ADHD and I have to live with that guilt


There are some positives but they are massively outweighed by the negatives



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Old 13-10-2024, 04:14 PM #179
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Originally Posted by Zizu View Post
Initially Dyslexia , then later on Aspergers and more recently ADHD


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…do you have any therapies or coaching etc in managing your conditions in terms of the conflicting way they must present and the impact that will have on you…?…
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Old 13-10-2024, 04:14 PM #180
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Originally Posted by Zizu View Post
Our son and daughter are both ADHD and I have to live with that guilt


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Yeah but that's not your fault, I don't know what the chances are...but it isn't always genetic / hereditary.
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Old 13-10-2024, 04:16 PM #181
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Originally Posted by Ammi View Post
…do you have any therapies or coaching etc in managing your conditions in terms of the conflicting way they must present and the impact that will have on you…?…

I have been given many strategies / coping methods over the years- some work


Life is exasperating and exhausting whilst being wonderfully amazing at the same time..


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Old 13-10-2024, 04:17 PM #182
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Originally Posted by Zizu View Post
Our son and daughter are both ADHD and I have to live with that guilt


There are some positives but they are massively outweighed by the negatives



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…it’s part of who they are and hopefully they manage it within their lifestyles and have happy and fulfilled lives…guilt isn’t something that should be felt, you’re big part of why they exist and that’s a wonderful thing…I’m sure that’s what they feel…
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Old 13-10-2024, 04:18 PM #183
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Yeah but that's not your fault, I don't know what the chances are...but it isn't always genetic / hereditary.

I cant say what the official figures are but in my 30 years of working with autistic teenagers I haven’t met one who didn’t have an autistic parent ( sometimes two ) - usually the dads


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Old 13-10-2024, 04:19 PM #184
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Originally Posted by Zizu View Post
I have been given many strategies / coping methods over the years- some work


Life is exasperating and exhausting whilst being wonderfully amazing at the same time..


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…yeah coping mechanisms and strategies aren’t a cure, I understand that…but managing also helps to understand and create preventatives, doesn’t it…Im sure that it is very exhausting but I’m glad that you have great joy through that exhaustion as well…
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Old 13-10-2024, 04:20 PM #185
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Default Does Ali joke? Why so serious!!

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Originally Posted by Ammi View Post
…it’s part of who they are and hopefully they manage it within their lifestyles and have happy and fulfilled lives…guilt isn’t something that should be felt, you’re big part of why they exist and that’s a wonderful thing…I’m sure that’s what they feel…

Oh yes ..

They are both successful but are stress heads
Both married with kids … who are showing signs..

None of us know the meaning of relaxation for instance .. it’s just not an option.


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Last edited by Zizu; 13-10-2024 at 04:23 PM.
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Old 13-10-2024, 04:22 PM #186
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…yeah coping mechanisms and strategies aren’t a cure, I understand that…but managing also helps to understand and create preventatives, doesn’t it…Im sure that it is very exhausting but I’m glad that you have great joy through that exhaustion as well…

Apologies people
I never intended to hog the thread but for all my failings .. if they found a cure I wouldn’t want it




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Old 13-10-2024, 04:28 PM #187
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It's interesting zizu.
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Old 13-10-2024, 04:30 PM #188
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It's interesting zizu.

Thank you


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Old 13-10-2024, 04:31 PM #189
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zizu View Post
Oh yes ..

They are both successful but are stress heads
Both married with kids … who are showing signs..

None of us know the meaning of relaxation for instance .. it’s just not an option.


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…stress heading is quite popular in the world today I think for everyone but I understand what you’re saying…I do though think that a misplaced feeling of guilt probably guides you much more than you need to allow it to…I know you’ve mentioned your children from time to time and I know how proud you are of them …that’s all you need to feel, the wonderful lives that you’ve been a part of and journeyed with …..
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Old 13-10-2024, 04:32 PM #190
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Originally Posted by Zizu View Post
Apologies people
I never intended to hog the thread but for all my failings .. if they found a cure I wouldn’t want it




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Old 13-10-2024, 04:33 PM #191
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…stress heading is quite popular in the world today I think for everyone but I understand what you’re saying…I do though think that a misplaced feeling of guilt probably guides you much more than you need to allow it to…I know you’ve mentioned your children from time to time and I know how proud you are of them …that’s all you need to feel, the wonderful lives that you’ve been a part of and journeyed with …..

You are too kind .. thank you


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Old 13-10-2024, 04:35 PM #192
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Originally Posted by Zizu View Post
I cant say what the official figures are but in my 30 years of working with autistic teenagers I haven’t met one who didn’t have an autistic parent ( sometimes two ) - usually the dads


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Really ... that's interesting, because what about all those kids & teens who are diagnosed on the spectrum,but their parents don't seem to have any of the conditions themselves ? .

But now thinking about it , could it be the parents I'm talking about have never been diagnosed full stop ,or they just don't have the same symptoms etc...but could still be on the spectrum. It's a difficult one.

Maybe more research needs to be done, but I've noticed more & more young people these days are being diagnosed with either autism or ADHD or both.
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Old 13-10-2024, 04:39 PM #193
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I wonder if the parents took drugs in the 90s

Last edited by Beso; 13-10-2024 at 04:40 PM.
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Old 13-10-2024, 04:48 PM #194
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I wonder if the parents took drugs in the 90s

Well not in my case


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Old 13-10-2024, 04:56 PM #195
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It probably doesn't help the world is ridiculously fast-paced compared to what it used to be. Probably more than it needs to be. And everywhere we turn, something thrown at our feet to worry about or hold anxiety over. Western culture is preoccupied with fear and anxiety these days. If you speak a language that doesn't intersect with the English-speaking world, then it's even more blatant. Everyday, something we must be afraid of... cancer in our bodies, pollutants in the air, financial pressures, climate change... and then people who do have these conditions face their own personal pressures, especially hard at a young age when the brain is still deep in its formation stages... and the younger folk already face waaay too much pressure, imo. Like they're expected to fix things that they certainly are not being given the resources the fix, much less given the space to grow in their own way so that they can even think about tangibly attacking these major problems... much less even basic ones.

I don't think parents or practitioners can really make the world less scary. That's always been a pipe dream. But what we can do is not throw so many obstacles in their way... that's more my concern. I think we the adults need to grow up first before we can start heaping more pressure on the children. I know there's a tendency to pick at the weaknesses in the young, the types of things they're been surrounded by, the habits they're forming... well, guess what, I still hear lots of whinging from just my own generation, and I feel like until that entitlement streak stops, then we can't be major players in assisting the young forward... and if they get it wrong often, well... maybe look in the mirror... we are not great role models, is what I'm trying to say...

This was my TED talk.

Anyway, I don't want to infantilize the HMs. I feel like wherever Ali is neurologically, it's perfectly fine to just judge her as another player in the game. But I guess leave room for strange errors as far as relating to others... on the thread topic, it's not very important to me that she is able to joke or not. With the right company and relationships built in the house, she doesn't need to be the primary entertainment, but a supporting role. We've seen many cases where such an HM makes it through to the final only to grab the win. Whatever I may think of her potential motives (I have her on a solid yellow on the gameplayer radar...), I would not suggest she changes anything about how she's playing the game atm... she's doing really well, in that aspect, because she's forcing us all to guess her actual motives and we're mostly unable to come up with anything. Obviously it's keeping our interest.

Last edited by Maru; 13-10-2024 at 06:41 PM.
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Old 13-10-2024, 06:35 PM #196
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Originally Posted by GoldHeart View Post
Really ... that's interesting, because what about all those kids & teens who are diagnosed on the spectrum,but their parents don't seem to have any of the conditions themselves ? .

But now thinking about it , could it be the parents I'm talking about have never been diagnosed full stop ,or they just don't have the same symptoms etc...but could still be on the spectrum. It's a difficult one.

Maybe more research needs to be done, but I've noticed more & more young people these days are being diagnosed with either autism or ADHD or both.
Both ADHD and Autism are highly genetic, research already suggests up to 80%. There are also other factors at play such as complications during birth.

You also have to account for masking, women do it better than men. It's a coping technique.

I would suggest that the 'parents' have mastered the art of that. I would also say that if you're not very aware of subtle signs it may pass you.

Better diagnosing.... It's quite jew, autism used to be called schizophrenia and they were known as mentally ill patients......a lot of them would bite, you know what they did? They took your teeth out!! You'd be in a psychiatric asylum... I work in the 'industry'.... lve supported older generations and you can see the signs of institutional abuse (guarding their food etc)... Anyway going off on a tangent, but basically we are better equipped to diagnose, although lately you'll be lucky if anything can be done and a diagnosis can take years

Autism really isn't textbook. If you have met one autistic person, then you have met ONE. Yes, there's a lot of similarities, but not always.

It's quite comprehensive.... Then add in co-morbidities.
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Old 13-10-2024, 09:20 PM #197
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I think that is probably because he is calm, patient, considerate and compassionate as a person. It would make sense for her to be drawn to someone with those characteristics.
Am I the only one that finds Izaaz phony?

I'm not saying that he is a horrible person, but he does seem to be a bit of a drip.
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Old 13-10-2024, 09:23 PM #198
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Am I the only one that finds Izaaz phony?

I'm not saying that he is a horrible person, but he does seem to be a bit of a drip.
It's like the Hunger Games just started and somebody had to snap him out of it to get his sword & shield... "hey dude, this a game... you playin'?"
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Old 13-10-2024, 09:23 PM #199
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Originally Posted by thesheriff443 View Post
Just to add I’m not invested in any one on the show it’s just a watered down version of a once great social experiment
Same here, I'm just enjoying the Show and the Forum.
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Old 13-10-2024, 09:25 PM #200
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Am I the only one that finds Izaaz phony?

I'm not saying that he is a horrible person, but he does seem to be a bit of a drip.

Did he not say he wanted to remain neutral…then went and spilled the beans to Ali
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