[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Ammi

…it’s interesting that each condition massively contradict each other as one is more based in structure and order….whereas with ADHD…it’s more spontaniety and chaos, if you like…

That’s precisely why its sooooo exhausting and frustrating !


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[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Zizu

That’s precisely why its sooooo exhausting and frustrating !


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…you are diagnosed with both conditions, Zizu…?…

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Ammi

…you are diagnosed with both conditions, Zizu…?…

Initially Dyslexia , then later on Aspergers and more recently ADHD


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[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Initially Dyslexia , then later on Aspergers and more recently ADHD


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Our son and daughter are both ADHD and I have to live with that guilt


There are some positives but they are massively outweighed by the negatives



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[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Our son and daughter are both ADHD and I have to live with that guilt


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Yeah but that's not your fault, I don't know what the chances are...but it isn't always genetic / hereditary.

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by GoldHeart

Yeah but that's not your fault, I don't know what the chances are...but it isn't always genetic / hereditary.

I cant say what the official figures are but in my 30 years of working with autistic teenagers I haven’t met one who didn’t have an autistic parent ( sometimes two ) - usually the dads


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[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Zizu

I cant say what the official figures are but in my 30 years of working with autistic teenagers I haven’t met one who didn’t have an autistic parent ( sometimes two ) - usually the dads


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Really ... that's interesting, because what about all those kids & teens who are diagnosed on the spectrum,but their parents don't seem to have any of the conditions themselves ? .

But now thinking about it , could it be the parents I'm talking about have never been diagnosed full stop ,or they just don't have the same symptoms etc...but could still be on the spectrum. It's a difficult one.

Maybe more research needs to be done, but I've noticed more & more young people these days are being diagnosed with either autism or ADHD or both.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Our son and daughter are both ADHD and I have to live with that guilt


There are some positives but they are massively outweighed by the negatives



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…it’s part of who they are and hopefully they manage it within their lifestyles and have happy and fulfilled lives…guilt isn’t something that should be felt, you’re big part of why they exist and that’s a wonderful thing…I’m sure that’s what they feel…

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Ammi

…it’s part of who they are and hopefully they manage it within their lifestyles and have happy and fulfilled lives…guilt isn’t something that should be felt, you’re big part of why they exist and that’s a wonderful thing…I’m sure that’s what they feel…

Oh yes ..

They are both successful but are stress heads
Both married with kids … who are showing signs..

None of us know the meaning of relaxation for instance .. it’s just not an option.


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[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Oh yes ..

They are both successful but are stress heads
Both married with kids … who are showing signs..

None of us know the meaning of relaxation for instance .. it’s just not an option.


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…stress heading is quite popular in the world today I think for everyone but I understand what you’re saying…I do though think that a misplaced feeling of guilt probably guides you much more than you need to allow it to…I know you’ve mentioned your children from time to time and I know how proud you are of them …that’s all you need to feel, the wonderful lives that you’ve been a part of and journeyed with …..

[Garfie]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Our son and daughter are both ADHD and I have to live with that guilt


There are some positives but they are massively outweighed by the negatives



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There is no guilt to be felt, Zizu. It wasn’t of your choice and it isn’t your fault. Try to turn your thinking around on that way, and reframe it. Think of the positives for your children in having a parent who can relate to what they are experiencing, show them understanding and provide them with the best coping strategies.

[fredmeneedle]

Originally Posted by Garfie

There is no guilt to be felt, Zizu. It wasn’t of your choice and it isn’t your fault. Try to turn your thinking around on that way, and reframe it. Think of the positives for your children in having a parent who can relate to what they are experiencing, show them understanding and provide them with the best coping strategies.

Garfie I am so sorry that people felt the need to attack you for your obvious skills and caring within what must be a difficult life situation.
This is supposed to be a light-hearted discussion forum on a silly "reality" TV show and you do not deserve to be attacked for no good reason.

[Garfie]

Originally Posted by fredmeneedle

Garfie I am so sorry that people felt the need to attack you for your obvious skills and caring within what must be a difficult life situation.
This is supposed to be a light-hearted discussion forum on a silly "reality" TV show and you do not deserve to be attacked for no good reason.

Bless you, fred - this is such a kind, considerate message and I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness in sending it.

I’m okay with it, though. It is what it is.

The important thing is that I know what my intentions were, and I know that I was coming from a good place. I’ve seen too many Autistic students bullied, mocked, misinterpreted, badly treated or harshly judged over the years, and I’ve seen their pain and struggling first hand, so I stand by my desire to defend and protect those who face such injustices. If that makes me wrong in the eyes of some people, I can live with that.

Sometimes watching BB and the housemates can raise important real-life issues, that should be discussed, and they should have their place on the forum. I think I might be ready for some humour and laughter to balance it out soon, though, and from what I’ve seen so far, you are a pretty good at bringing the humour!

Thanks again, Fred. You’re a gem.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Initially Dyslexia , then later on Aspergers and more recently ADHD


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…do you have any therapies or coaching etc in managing your conditions in terms of the conflicting way they must present and the impact that will have on you…?…

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Ammi

…do you have any therapies or coaching etc in managing your conditions in terms of the conflicting way they must present and the impact that will have on you…?…

I have been given many strategies / coping methods over the years- some work


Life is exasperating and exhausting whilst being wonderfully amazing at the same time..


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[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Zizu

I have been given many strategies / coping methods over the years- some work


Life is exasperating and exhausting whilst being wonderfully amazing at the same time..


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…yeah coping mechanisms and strategies aren’t a cure, I understand that…but managing also helps to understand and create preventatives, doesn’t it…Im sure that it is very exhausting but I’m glad that you have great joy through that exhaustion as well…

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Ammi

…yeah coping mechanisms and strategies aren’t a cure, I understand that…but managing also helps to understand and create preventatives, doesn’t it…Im sure that it is very exhausting but I’m glad that you have great joy through that exhaustion as well…

Apologies people
I never intended to hog the thread but for all my failings .. if they found a cure I wouldn’t want it




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