[Shasown]

I opened my email inbox for the first time in a few days today and I found an interesting email that I wish to share with you.

So here goes:



Dear Mr Shasown,

I know that you use several of those websites where people talk about the program Big Brother.

My son is currently in the Big Brother house, he is a really nice though often misunderstood lad. He is when you get to know him a very sweet boy. I miss him so much, you have no idea how hard it is for me to get my shopping home just now without his help.

He often helps me around the house, he really loves to help out when I am baking, he loves his fairy cakes so he does.

I look around my house and I notice it hasnt been this tidy for many many years, I havent had to pick up his toenail and finger nail clippings, or snotballs for a long while. But I still find the odd one or two around the kitchen, why i only found one in the sugarbowl on tuesday.

I really do miss my little marcus, and I really do want him home. The evening hours drag so long, the time passes so slow without the normal interruptions like when his pals use to call. I used to love answering the door to Gandalf, Zoban the Magnificent and the rest of his dressy up chums.

I miss hearing his voice yelling at me to "get them out for the boys". I miss him so so very much. My little darky. Washday passes so quickly without his sweaty vests socks and stiff boxers to handwash.


Since he has been away I have busied myself by redecorating his bedroom. I think he will like the glass inbuilt cabinets for all his little dollies. I cant wait to see the look on my little wolfies face when he sees the pink My little pony wallpaper I found for half price in argos. However because of my age I have been unable to comlete his bedroom, I am unable to get his favourite GI Joe lampshade up, as well

Could I therefore ask a very big favour off you, I am sure you could hardly deny this simple task for an OAP. Could you please ensure that you ask your friends as well. Please dial 09016 16 16 10 and send that Irish slag Noirin home.

Yours faithfully

The Dark Horse Brood Mare