[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

And you've been with the rest of the football team.

... Really?? I didn't know that

[GypsyGoth]

Originally Posted by Nativitystar

... Really?? I didn't know that

Yep, and all the Cheerios

[Smithy]

Ew Caitlin you *****


We're over

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

Yep, and all the Cheerios

... Who am I??

[GypsyGoth]

Originally Posted by Nativitystar

... Who am I??

Well if you're dating Artie, you'd be Brittany.

[Smithy]

We're only in season 1 Claudia

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

Well if you're dating Artie, you'd be Brittany.

Noo I am Tina cause it's the first series you silly sausage

[GypsyGoth]

Originally Posted by Smithy

We're only in season 1 Claudia

Originally Posted by Nativitystar

Noo I am Tina cause it's the first series you silly sausage

Whatever! I'm the star, I shouldn't been seen even talking to you two.

[Smithy]

*plans prank with caitlin*

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

Whatever! I'm the star, I shouldn't been seen even talking to you two.

You also grope my boobs in the first episode so I would be careful about who you is callin a slag.

[GypsyGoth]

You put your boob in my hand.

Here's me with some of my many friends at this school:

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by Smithy

We're only in season 1 Claudia

Me too! LOL, shame I won't be on here to read the story.

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

You put your boob in my hand.

Here's me with some of my many friends at this school:

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

You put your boob in my hand.

Here's me with some of my many friends at this school:

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

Well if you're dating Artie, you'd be Brittany.

and sayyy wuuuut!

i havent even started S2 yet

[Smithy]

She kills him scott, don't worry

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

yall best be jokin

and i saw the preview kurt gets a hot dude in S2

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by Scott

and sayyy wuuuut!

i havent even started S2 yet

Neither have I, I want to wait for it to be on e4

[Smithy]

Originally Posted by Scott

yall best be jokin

and i saw the preview kurt gets a hot dude in S2

I was, she wasn't ;o

[Shaun]

Episode One

Lydia, dressed from head to toe in a clean, ironed and pressed pink outfit, including pinstripe skirt and knee-high socks, is stood by her locker with an arm full of GleeiBB Club flyers. Up walks Jack.

Jack: Hey, Lydia, can I take one of those flyers?
Lydia: Of course! The GleeiBB Club is always looking for new recruits!
she goes to pass him one when she is suddenly struck in the face with a soccer ball.
Jack: Oh I'm sorry. This club looks like it'll be balls.
A small crowd surrounding her points and laughs, as she storms off crying.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Smith and Nina are putting out chairs in a music classroom, whilst Merbrades places a songsheet on the piano.
Merbrades: Do you think we'll get many attendees?
Smith: Maybe we should have left Nina in charge of the leaflets.
Nina: Like I had a choice - Lydia is so pushy.
Merbrades: Bitch is a walking advert for a vow of silence.
In walks a worried-looking Shuester, dressed rather plainly and carrying a folder of timetables, songsheets and registers
Smith: Mr. Shuester, why didn't you let Nina hand out the flyers?
Greg Shuester: Guys, you all know Lydia wanted this responsibility. I'm sure she'll get far more than the 6 members required to establish our GleeiBB club!
Nina: But TiBB is so dead nowadays...
Greg Shuester: LISTEN, BITCH- I mean Nina, if we don't get enough today that doesn't mean the end, I'm sure there're other ways to advertise.
Shuester raises his eyebrows and casts his mind back...

Flashback
Matt: And the Razzie for Worst Vocals, sponsored by the GleeiBB Club, goes to... Thomas_C!

Lydia walks in.
Lydia: Good morning, one and all! Mr. Shuester, I have handed out all of the flyers as requested, and several members promised to sign up! If...I left them alone...
Merbrades: Shhh, bitch, people are coming in!

In walks Scott, dressed in a black turtleneck sweater and cream corduroys. He takes off a beret, and takes a seat.
Scott: Scott, charmed I'm sure.
Merbrades: Merbrades, gurl.
Scott: You use incorrect vowels. I like you. We shall do lunch. Mr. Shuester, is it true that we'll be able to introduce our own routines and songs to the club?
Greg Shuester: Well I don't know - I've already got several planned for the regionals, inc-
Scott gets up to leave.
Scott: This will not do.
Greg Shuester: -including covers of Madonna-
Harry: WHAT?
Harry storms in, steals the songsheet for "Papa Don't Preach" and takes a seat.
Greg Shuester: -and Michael Jackson...
Scott: One of those is dead, the other might as well be. Not good enough.
He continues walking to the door until Inn walks in. Scott stops in his tracks and sits on the piano stool.
Scott: Then again, maybe we can come to an agreement.
Inn: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was the Loft.
Greg Shuester: Take a seat!
Shuester locks the door and Lydia takes to the stage.

------------------------------------------------------------

In the staffroom at lunch, Emily is thumbing through a magazine on psychology, whilst Coach Stone (yes, 30) drones at her about the upcoming football match between TiBB High and DS Academy. Emily is in her mid-30s and always has a vibrant head of hair. In walks Stu Sylvester.

Stu Sylvester: You, Twitty. A word.
Stu straddles a seat and takes a big slurp from a protein shake. Stone stares at him in awe.
Emily: Yes?
Stu Sylvester: I heard you gave one of my students a pamphlet here.
Stu slams a pamphlet on teenage pregnancy on the desk, making Emily jump a little.
Stu Sylvester: Just where do you get off on helping my cheerleaders that they have a promising future in under-18 motherhood?
Emily: Umm....
Stu Sylvester: Let me fill you in. They don't. I am not having my flawless squad thwarted by something that should've been aborted weeks ago - are my explaining myself here?
Stone: Are my? Lol I think you mean Am I....
Stu Sylvester: I'm impressed you even have a grasp on grammar, you walking dumbbell. Get out of my sight.
Stu gets up and storms out of the room.

---------------------------------------------------------------

In the music room, Nina, Harry, Smith and Scott are singing the chorus of Hole's "Celebrity Skin" whilst whipping their hair manically. Lydia does a fierce vocal solo verse, whilst Smith's air guitar falls quite flat with a scared-looking Inn. The group finish with a bow, as the pianist (erm...Mr. Ice) and Shuester get up and applaud.

Scott: I like this. Female rock vocals are my thing.
Harry: I would prefer it if We sang something pop like "Material Girl" though.
Smith: WE AREN'T SINGING SONGS BY SOME OLD HAS-BEEN.
Harry: AT LEAST SHE'S NOT A MAN.
Smith rips out his earrings and goes to stand up and slap Harry, suddenly remembering he can't walk.
Lydia: Silence, boys. Inn, why were you not singing?
Inn: I told you, I can't sing...
Scott: I think you have a great voice.
Inn: When have you heard me?
Scott: In my head.
Greg Shuester: Oo-kay. Well, the next rehearsal is on Thursday lunchtime, so I expect to see you all.
Inn: I won't be here.
Merbrades: Oh hell naw, you ain't quitting on us y'all.
Smith slowly puts his clip-on earrings back on whilst the others put on their coats.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Outside in the sports field, Stace, Kitty and Victoria are leading a choreographed routine to Kelly Rowland's "Commander". Stu Sylvester sits in the sidelines nodding in beat to the rhythm as Stace and Kitty lift Victoria into an awkward position. Stu suddenly turns off the soundsystem.
Stu Sylvester: SLOPPY.
The group of 12 girls walk, defeated, up to their instructor.
Stu Sylvester: I have seen the Independents thread put on performances with more structure than this cesspit. ON YOUR KNEES AND GIVE ME 20.
Kitty: Mr. Sylvester, I don't have any money but I can give you this voucher for $5 off your next Cost-Co purchase...
Stu Sylvester: Oh good Lord.
he snatches the voucher and picks up a megaphone
Stu Sylvester: PUSH-UPS, YOU BUTTMUNCH.
Kitty looks hurt and does the punishment. The rest of the girls finish and clamber back up.
Stu Sylvester: If you girls want to ever be taken seriously on this forum, you have to be able to perform synchronised routines without fault. barks DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
Victoria: Mr. Sylvester, I was wondering if maybe we could talk about the outfits. They're a little...conservative. Victoria gestures to the lilac legwarmers and long-sleeved shirts.
Stu Sylvester: Now this, girls, is initiative. Walk with me, Vicky. The rest of you - PRACTICE. Class dismissed.
the other girls limber away
Stu Sylvester: What were you thinking?
Victoria: Well, my father, who belongs in advertising for BBSpy, has suggested that the company provide a new uniform, as well as funding for upcoming events, in exchange for a little promotional logo on the costume.
Stu Sylvester: How much are we talking? Enough to subsidise my own staff-room juicer?
Victoria: Enough for 200 juicers.
Victoria hands over a cheque for $10,000. Stu's eyes glaze over.
Stu Sylvester: I find this deal more than satisfactory. Just...keep the costumes clean.

----------------------------------------------------------------

In the gym showers, Greg Shuester is pinning more leaflets to the noticeboard (and hoping to catch a glimpse of Novo shirtless) when he hears a man singing.
Inn: singing, impressively Why pamper life's complexity when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat? he sways from side-to-side in the hot water.
Greg Shuester: Inn!
Inn jumps and drops the soap

Flashback
Scott: suddenly looks up in the air, confused I'm missing a wonderful opportunity.

Inn: Mr. Shuester, you terrified me!
Greg Shuester: Yeah I'm sorry - listen, you've got one hell of a voice. Are you sure I can't persuade you to join GleeiBB?
Inn: puts on towel I'm...it's just...the Chat and Games section laughs at GleeiBB. I belong in the Sports board. I can't.
Greg Shuester: suddenly frowns Listen, you little asshat. I've got video footage of you singing a Smiths song in the shower that'll be up on YouTube faster than you can say "Morrissey", now I expect to see you on Thursday.
Shuester storms out, leaving Inn confused.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's Thursday morning, and Greg is about to leave for work.
Lily: When are we moving to Glasgow?
Greg Shuester: You know we can't. I've got a stable career here.
Lily: You're denying your scottish roots!
Greg Shuester: Och nae!
Lily: Ye ken aye!
a neighbour bangs on the wall.
James: Speak in English at all times, please.
Lily: Traitorous swine.
Greg leaves for work, pecking Lily on the cheek...all of a sudden in possession of a beak.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

It's lunchtime, and Inn has begrudgingly turned up for GleeiBB along with his girlfriend, Victoria. Victoria has brought along Stace, Kitty and another cheerleader who I'll name when I can be bothered to introduce her in episode 2.
Greg Shuester: I see we have new faces.
Stace: Under protest. Ugh, this is vile.
Lydia: I've been thinking that today we could do Sophie Ellis-Bextor's "Music Gets the Best of Me". she begins handing out lyrics sheets.
Scott: Quelle surprise, another female-led vocal.
Victoria: I would like to begin, Mr. Shuester.
Harry: I brought some gold armour-plated cones to wear - shall I put them on?
Stace and Kitty giggle
Greg Shuester: Uh, that won't be necessary today Harry, but maybe for an official performance.
Victoria, Harry, Kitty, Tina and Merbrades begin to sing the song, whilst Smith plays drums and Mr. Ice a keyboard. Lydia suddenly comes in on the chorus and stands slightly in front of the other performers, as Merbrades glares at her. Scott suddenly interrupts them all.
Scott: Sorry to interrupt Loose Women here, but some of us aren't potential Pixie Lotts.
Smith: Yeah, Mr. Shuester, can't we have something a little more...
Stace: Butch? Nice try.
Smith: Bitch, I will cut y-he begins to wheel up to Stace but is separated by Greg
Greg Shuester: Alright, this gives me an idea for your first project. Boys vs. Girls. The winning team will have their song performed at the regional contest. Deal?
The group agree and separate into their genders.


NEXT TIME...ON GLEEIBB.
[random sections of dialogue are shown over some quite irritating people going "ba be ba boo ba"]
Stace: Can someone teach Wheels to roll away?
Smith: Oh go back to your trailer, you white trash slut.

Stu Sylvester: What ARE these costumes, you Jezebels?

Lily: I think I'm pregnant.
[the irritating babeba people suddenly squeal "Glee!" and the episode finishes.]

[Smithy]

Ohh double post


Actual ROFL @ Scott and Harry

Very well done

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

epic

[MTVN]

Love this, some of it's really funny actually

[Tom4784]

It's sensational.

[Z]

I love it! I laughed out loud four separate times... good going!