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Old 08-06-2011, 11:11 PM #1
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Default If you could punch only ONE person in the face ...

For the sake of a backstory, we'll say a genie has granted you one wish of his choosing (he's a stingy genie). The wish? You get to punch one person, full-on in the face, with no repercussions. So....

Who?
Why?
Where?

How? (Dragon punch, discus punch, punching with a fist caked in wasps, etc)
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:13 PM #2
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my dad
hes a ****
the face
punch with a fist caked with barbed wire,wasps and a lump of poop
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:15 PM #3
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And I wouldn't say anything. No words, just physical action.

Actually, that was just to crowbar a Day Today quote in there. I'd tell him that he's not allowed to use the assault on his face as the basis for some kind of pathetic tortured genius act, like how he ruined that hilarious footage of someone running onstage and pushing him into the orchestra pit by weeping in the dressing room afterwoods and doing the whole "What makes a human being do that to another human? Have I done something wrong?!" attention seeking bullshit.

Take the fist and shut the fuck up.
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:16 PM #4
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yeah robbie williams is a tit
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:17 PM #5
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Who? Neil Lennon
Why? because he's a disgusting thug
Where? In the center circle of Ibrox
How?
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:20 PM #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stu View Post


And I wouldn't say anything. No words, just physical action.

Actually, that was just to crowbar a Day Today quote in there. I'd tell him that he's not allowed to use the assault on his face as the basis for some kind of pathetic tortured genius act, like how he ruined that hilarious footage of someone running onstage and pushing him into the orchestra pit by weeping in the dressing room afterwoods and doing the whole "What makes a human being do that to another human? Have I done something wrong?!" attention seeking bullshit.

Take the fist and shut the fuck up.
I bet Laura will be over the moon that you said him! lol
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:20 PM #7
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I'm now bitterly dissapointed I forgot James Corden & Chris Moyles. I'd love a two for one deal on them. A series of swift jabs in front of all their swell celebrity chums resulting in either severe comas on their behalf or massive dissapointment on mine.

Last edited by Stu; 08-06-2011 at 11:21 PM.
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:22 PM #8
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Jodie Marsh, straight in the nose (it needs straightening anyway) for being a total slapper and then wondering why people hate her. Plus, when people do say they hate her, she flips and can't understand why

I (stupidly) read her autobiography. It took me all of a day to get through, such was the "..... and then I shagged him and then I shagged him.... but I'm really clever but I was bullied at school.... and then I shagged him......" Lost count how many blokes had been through her.

She claims women are jealous of her. At least she's good at jokes
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:23 PM #9
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My preference....



Especially after what she did to that toilet attendant!
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:23 PM #10
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Ian Brady (Don't care if he's an old man)
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:25 PM #11
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Quote:
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I bet Laura will be over the moon that you said him! lol
Yes! It saves me having to post! Good choice Stu
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:27 PM #12
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Yes! It saves me having to post! Good choice Stu


To be honest. There is probably something else I would do to Chezza Cole before punching her in the face. But I will leave that explanation for another night!
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:27 PM #13
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I would ask the genie to momentarily turn my first into the hammer of Thor. During a thunderstorm I would appear at the window of my victim, smash through it, and slam my victim through a wall. I would then leave.

My victim?



Because he is just an awful, awful person. There is not a single redeemable quality about him.
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:33 PM #14
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Quote:
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To be honest. There is probably something else I would do to Chezza Cole before punching her in the face. But I will leave that explanation for another night!
Que... 'If you could only shag ONE person then punch them in the face straight after'
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:35 PM #15
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Que... 'If you could only shag ONE person then punch them in the face straight after'
You got it kid!
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:38 PM #16
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Que... 'If you could only shag ONE person then punch them in the face straight after'
One way to stop her rolling over and snoring I suppose......
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Old 08-06-2011, 11:39 PM #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaun View Post
I would ask the genie to momentarily turn my first into the hammer of Thor. During a thunderstorm I would appear at the window of my victim, smash through it, and slam my victim through a wall. I would then leave.

My victim?



Because he is just an awful, awful person. There is not a single redeemable quality about him.
Nice choice that makes me think of this waste of DNA :

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Old 09-06-2011, 02:27 PM #18
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There is someone I would like to punch. That person is a member of this forum, so for fear of infraction I cannot say. When you consider the *****wits I have to deal with in real life on a daily basis, the fact that I would choose this particular person goes some way to explain what a kafin kup, a shmendrik and total momzer he is.
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Old 09-06-2011, 02:28 PM #19
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Is he on your world famous ignore list, by any chance?

Pretty nutty in any case. I wouldn't punch anyone on this forum past or present. I'm only seeing a limited, web based, trial version of their personality.

Last edited by Stu; 09-06-2011 at 02:29 PM.
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Old 09-06-2011, 02:34 PM #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
There is someone I would like to punch. That person is a member of this forum, so for fear of infraction I cannot say. When you consider the *****wits I have to deal with in real life on a daily basis, the fact that I would choose this particular person goes some way to explain what a kafin kup, a shmendrik and total momzer he is.
Come on! Be bold. Name the name!

Doubt you will get infracted.

Although if I had to guess it would be Stu?

Shame!
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Old 09-06-2011, 02:39 PM #21
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Why: he is the most annoying waste of human life on the planet.
Where: I don't care but I would like to just punch him so he can no longer speak.
How: most painful way possible.
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Old 09-06-2011, 02:41 PM #22
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Why: he is the most annoying waste of human life on the planet.
Where: I don't care but I would like to just punch him so he can no longer speak.
How: most painful way possible.

Andrew Stone? I don't mind him. However that picture of him looks like a punchable face!
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Old 09-06-2011, 02:42 PM #23
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Quote:
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Andrew Stone? I don't mind him. However that picture of him looks like a punchable face!
I just find him the most annoying person that can name and people will know.
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Old 09-06-2011, 03:02 PM #24
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Quote:
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Why: he is the most annoying waste of human life on the planet.
Where: I don't care but I would like to just punch him so he can no longer speak.
How: most painful way possible.
He has the most gorgeous eyes, so for that he gets by from being the annoying tit he is.

As for punching a celeb, I might feel like doing so at times, but nah, I wouldn't do so.
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Old 09-06-2011, 03:23 PM #25
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who? - god
why? - he's a dick
where? - outside the pearly gates
how? - headbut
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