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Old 02-07-2012, 04:59 PM #1
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Default How many elephants?
Elephants Jokes please?

How many Elephants could you get in an empty Mini?


]
One, cos after that it wouldn't be empty.
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Old 02-07-2012, 06:05 PM #2
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An Elephant and flea joke riddle:- A serious question with an answer too.

If it takes a yard and a half of tripe to make an Elephant a seal skin waistcoat what would it take to make a flea a suit

Answer: A bloody good taylor........
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Old 02-07-2012, 06:54 PM #3
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Kate I love you but that's the worst joke I've ever heard and I've seen Scott's threads
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You're giving me a million reasons about a million reasons
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Old 02-07-2012, 07:02 PM #4
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..why did the elephant fall out of the tree
Spoiler:

because it was dead


..why did the second elephant fall out of the tree
Spoiler:

it was glued to the first elephant


..why did the third elephant fall out of the tree
Spoiler:

it thought it was a game


..why did the tree fall down
Spoiler:

it thought it was an elephant
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:50 AM #5
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Ammi
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:23 AM #6
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Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
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Old 05-07-2012, 07:02 AM #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ammi View Post
..why did the elephant fall out of the tree
Spoiler:

because it was dead


..why did the second elephant fall out of the tree
Spoiler:

it was glued to the first elephant


..why did the third elephant fall out of the tree
Spoiler:

it thought it was a game


..why did the tree fall down
Spoiler:

it thought it was an elephant
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Old 05-07-2012, 07:17 AM #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaun View Post
Kate I love you but that's the worst joke I've ever heard and I've seen Scott's threads
pffft, its genius!

What's grey, has a trunk, but is not an elephant?

Spoiler:

A mouse going on holiday


Heheh.
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Old 05-07-2012, 07:40 AM #9
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Ammi

Kate... not improving I'm afraid

here's a proper joke

Spoiler:

Ninastar
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You're giving me a million reasons about a million reasons
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Old 05-07-2012, 09:19 AM #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaun View Post
Ammi

Kate... not improving I'm afraid

here's a proper joke

Spoiler:

Ninastar
Naughty Shaun

Right I'm on a mission now for the ultimate elephant joke.. I may be gone some time.
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Old 05-07-2012, 09:29 AM #11
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Lightbulb
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Spoiler:

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.


How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
Spoiler:

Grapes are purple.


What did Jane say when he she saw the elephants coming over the hill?
Spoiler:

“Look, here come the grapes!” (She was color blind.)


How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant if you’re color blind?
Spoiler:

Dance on it for a while. If you don’t get any wine, it’s an elephant.
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Old 05-07-2012, 09:34 AM #12
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How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?
Spoiler:

His bike is outside.


How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?
Spoiler:

There’s a dent in the cross-bar.


How do you know if there are three elephants in the pub?
Spoiler:

Stand on the bike and look in the window.
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Old 05-07-2012, 12:32 PM #13
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Omah!!

- has visions of elephants playing pool in a pub! -
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Old 05-07-2012, 12:46 PM #14
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Old 08-07-2012, 07:07 PM #15
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How do elephants climb an oak tree?

Spoiler:

They sit on an acorn and wait for spring!


How do elephants get down from an oak tree?

Spoiler:

They sit on a leaf and wait for fall!
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Old 08-07-2012, 07:08 PM #16
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How do you get down from an elephant?

Spoiler:

You don't - you get down from a duck!
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Old 08-07-2012, 07:20 PM #17
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Q: How many elephants will fit into a Mini?
Spoiler:

A: Four: Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini?
Spoiler:

A: None. It's full of elephants.
Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
Spoiler:

A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.
Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your refrigerator?
Spoiler:

A: You can't close the door.
Q: How do you know there are four elephants in your refrigerator?
Spoiler:

A: There's an empty Mini parked outside.
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Old 08-07-2012, 08:13 PM #18
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(1) Why did the elephant cross the road?

Spoiler:

To get to the gym.


(2) Why did the elephant cry?

Spoiler:

It was told it was too fat to use the gym.


(3) How many elephants can you fit into a 7-seater car?

Spoiler:

Just its arse.


(4) Why did the elephant get someone to drive it to someone's house?

Spoiler:

Because the fella it was seeing had an interest in big arses.


(5) How did the elephant get the money to hire a driver?

Spoiler:

It was a prostitute beforehand because of the size of its arse and earned enough money to buy the whole world.


(6) Why did the elephant go to the pub afterwards?

Spoiler:

Its size turned out to be a good thing after all.


(7) Why did the elephant attend a series of funerals after?

Spoiler:

It wiped out the entire pub building and the people in it after it did a little dance.


(8) Why did the elephant cry afterwards?

Spoiler:

Its size turned out to be a bad thing after all.
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Old 08-07-2012, 08:15 PM #19
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Why did the elephant die?

Spoiler:

It read this thread
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Old 08-07-2012, 08:20 PM #20
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Why did the elephant come back to life?

Spoiler:

It realised everything said on this thread was all true and that it was all an overreaction.
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Old 08-07-2012, 08:31 PM #21
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Wtf are you all on.
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