[Vicky.]

OK this is inspired by a 14 page long thread on DS which my partner is currently reading and asked me about.

You save up £200 to go to a westend show with a partner/family member/friend. It takes you months to save up this cash, and you have been looking forward to the show for a long time. However when the show begins it becomes very apparent that you have a severely disabled person sitting near you. Throughout the show, they (involuntarily) make loud moaning and screaming noises. Their carer appears to be ignoring it all. You cannot hear anything at all besides the loud noises the person is making.

You would not tolerate a screaming baby, or a child being disruptive during a show.

What would you do?

Would you sit through all the screaming until the end?
Would you leave, after paying so much for the tickets?
Would you complain and ask the staff to remove the person?
Would you speak to the carer?
Would you do something else?


Luckily this has never happened to me. However I was once in the cinema (with gavin and his 3 children) when a child..probably about 3 year old.. was shouting at the top of her voice..and I did have a word with her mother who ignored it. Then actually complained to the marshall and had them thrown out.

However, it doesnt seem right to do that in this situation..

But I dont think I could tolerate the moaning and screaming after saving and paying for the tickets. I know that sounds un-PC. I know the disabled person cannot help it. I know they also paid for their ticket and should have the opportunity to enjoy the show...but if everyone else around them cant enjoy it because of them...what do you do?

[Jords]

Speak to carer > speak to staff to see if I could move seats > complain to staff... if nothing was done > leave, id only get increasingly annoyed and disappointed otherwise.

You would feel bad though.

[Novo]

Probably have a polite word with the Carer and ask if they can calm him/her down, i wouldn't go as far as asking any of the Staff to ask him/her to be removed though in a situation like that

[Vanessa]

I would just seat somewhere else if possible.

[Roy Mars III]

I would try to speak to the carer, and if that doesn't work ask the staff to see if they could move me to another seat.

[Josy]

I would probably just do nothing then have a quick moan about it afterwards to be completely honest.

[Niamh.]

Oh what a dilemma :/ I don't know If I really couldn't hear the show because of them then I think I'd ask the Staff if I could move seats

[Vicky.]

I would probably be inclined to speak to the carer too. However, obviously the carer already knows that the person is disrupting everyone else(as they can hear it too), and seems to be just ignoring it.

[Novo]

I'd probably wait for someone else to say something as well, wouldn't want to make a scene if its packed everyone around you will be thinking your a heartless bastard if the Carer reacts badly towards you when you ask them

[Vicky.]

OK to all those saying move seats (I didnt think of that )..what if there were no other seats to move to?

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

OK to all those saying move seats (I didnt think of that )..what if there were no other seats to move to?

hhmm I don't know it really is a dilemma

[Cherie]

Carer's are there to accompany the person though, unless it is a very young child with a disability, they are not there in loco parentis so "having a word with the carer" is not really the answer, in fact it is down right rude if the disabled person is able to understand but perhaps needs time to communicate, personally I think you just have to put it down to experience and get on with it, how many of us have sat behind people with big heads or who are very tall or wide or whatever who block our view at concerts, shows, football matches. If the disabled person can't help shouting out or twitching or whatever then too bad, there are many able bodied people who laugh, rattle plastic bags, eat, answer their phones etc so..

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

hhmm I don't know it really is a dilemma

Yes it has me utterly stumped too tbh..I usually have an outright answer for these moral dilemas and such

In all honesty, I would probably just sit raging about it...stomp around a bit at the end. Then feel bad for being angry at something someone cant help, then send in a complaint to the theatre about it and demand a refund (even though there was nothing they could do about it) then feel bad for complaining. Then forever moan about it to anyone who would listen.

[Kizzy]

I'm not sure what the carer could do if anything, I assume the whoops are them enjoying the show?
I would just watch the show best I could.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Yes it has me utterly stumped too tbh..I usually have an outright answer for these moral dilemas and such

In all honesty, I would probably just sit raging about it...stomp around a bit at the end. Then feel bad for being angry at something someone cant help, then send in a complaint to the theatre about it and demand a refund (even though there was nothing they could do about it) then feel bad for complaining. Then forever moan about it to anyone who would listen.

Yeah, I'd probably do something similar............I would probably ask to be moved though and hope they had more seats

[Cherie]

Vicky

Throughout the show, they (involuntarily) make loud moaning and screaming noises. Their carer appears to be ignoring it all. You cannot hear anything at all besides the loud noises the person is making.

if the noises they are making are involuntary then the carer is not ignoring it but probably used to it, as this is a form of communication.

[Roy Mars III]

these kind of dilemma is why I don't go out in public

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Roy Mars III

these kind of dilemma is why I don't go out in public

[Novo]

May as well put a bigger twist into this situation - what about if the Disabled person whacked you over the head with something? but no one else witnessed it.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Novo

May as well put a bigger twist into this situation - what about if the Disabled person whacked you over the head with something? but no one else witnessed it.

I think I'd just give up and leave at that point

[Vanessa]

I think i'd just leave to be honest.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Vicky

Throughout the show, they (involuntarily) make loud moaning and screaming noises. Their carer appears to be ignoring it all. You cannot hear anything at all besides the loud noises the person is making.

if the noises they are making are involuntary then the carer is not ignoring it but probably used to it, as this is a form of communication.

Yes, but (and this is going to sound really awful)...if I was a carer for someone and I knew they had a disability that would make them disruptive somewhere where they are meant to be quiet, I would never have took them there to begin with. And if i took the chance (maybe some days it doesnt happen, or isnt as extreme) then if it happens when I was there, I would leave. I would do it with a child. I do know a disabled adult is not the same as a child though..

But the other people in the theatre have a right to watch the show too.

This is why its such a hard question to answer IMO. The disabled person has rights. However so do the other people who are there. Everyone has paid for their tickets...allowing the disruption is pretty much voiding lots of peoples tickets, whereas any other action is dicriminating against the disabled person as they cant help what they are doing.

I would say the blame lies with the carer in this situation :/

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Novo

May as well put a bigger twist into this situation - what about if the Disabled person whacked you over the head with something? but no one else witnessed it.

Oh god

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Yes, but (and this is going to sound really awful)...if I was a carer for someone and I knew they had a disability that would make them disruptive somewhere where they are meant to be quiet, I would never have took them there to begin with. And if i took the chance (maybe some days it doesnt happen, or isnt as extreme) then if it happens when I was there, I would leave. I would do it with a child. I do know a disabled adult is not the same as a child though..

But the other people in the theatre have a right to watch the show too.

This is why its such a hard question to answer IMO. The disabled person has rights. However so do the other people who are there. Everyone has paid for their tickets...allowing the disruption is pretty much voiding lots of peoples tickets, whereas any other action is dicriminating against the disabled person as they cant help what they are doing.

I would say the blame lies with the carer in this situation :/

The carer doesn't own the disabled person, they are paid to accompany them, not take charge of their lives, if the disabled person is an adult, and is mentally capable of asking to go to a show, then how is that the "carers" fault, even if it is young child the parents may have insisted the child go, who is going to step in and say "no", you couldn't do that to a mainstream child with behavioural problems so how could you do it with a disabled child.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

The carer doesn't own the disabled person, they are paid to accompany them, not take charge of their lives, if the disabled person is an adult, and is mentally capable of asking to go to a show, then how is that the "carers" fault, even if it is young child the parents may have insisted the child go, who is going to step in and say "no", you couldn't do that to a mainstream child with behavioural problems so how could you do it with a disabled child.

You do make a good point.

Its such an impossible situation :S

I think I might ask my mother this next time I see her. She works with disabled people and regularly takes them out on day trips and stuff..I wonder how she would feel to be put in this situation, from either way. Either she is the person who is at the theatre..or she is the person who has been asked to take the person to the theatre