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Old 10-02-2014, 03:19 PM #1
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Default Things that could only happen to Zee.....

I'll start with one I have unashamedly stolen from another thread....

Being invited out with a couple (luvvers) on Valentine's - it could only happen to Zee.

You get the gist..... next please
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Old 10-02-2014, 03:20 PM #2
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catching crabs without actually sleeping with anyone
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Old 10-02-2014, 03:20 PM #3
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Being Zee - It could only happen to Zee.
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Old 10-02-2014, 03:24 PM #4
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Picking the only seat in the cinema that was last used by a girl who got fingered by her date.
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Old 10-02-2014, 03:24 PM #5
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Old 10-02-2014, 03:25 PM #6
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Get stuck in an elevator with the prince of norway - only zee
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Old 10-02-2014, 03:49 PM #7
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Old 10-02-2014, 03:49 PM #8
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Oh I've got a new one! Getting invited out by my only mutual friend to hang out with the person who gave me scabies; the mutual friend isn't aware that that happened
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Old 10-02-2014, 03:50 PM #9
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Quote:
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Picking the only seat in the cinema that was last used by a girl who got fingered by her date.
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Old 10-02-2014, 03:51 PM #10
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Scabies and crabs?....picking the scuzziest friends on the planet? It could only happen to zee!
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Old 10-02-2014, 03:57 PM #11
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Your friend very possibly telling your lecturer that you find them attractive and then that lecturer being assigned as your dissertation superviser
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Old 10-02-2014, 03:59 PM #12
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Accidentally marrying his cat and catching rabies
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Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:02 PM #13
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Deeply offending someone who I used to sort of be friends with after he'd mentioned the fact he'd maybe gotten a girl pregnant but she had a boyfriend and it was all complicated and everyone else apart from me was ripping into him making jokes and he went "ugh I wish I'd never brought it up" and I went "well you're not bringing it up are you..." after everyone went silent

I mean you know, 10/10 to me for hilarity but yeah we've not spoken in 3 years now LOL
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:03 PM #14
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Spoiler:

Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:04 PM #15
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It's really awkward, I was with three of my friends at Christmas and we were going for a catch up at this bar and we bumped into him and he didn't even look at me once
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:11 PM #16
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Bit OTT on his part
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Quote:
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You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:13 PM #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zee View Post
Deeply offending someone who I used to sort of be friends with after he'd mentioned the fact he'd maybe gotten a girl pregnant but she had a boyfriend and it was all complicated and everyone else apart from me was ripping into him making jokes and he went "ugh I wish I'd never brought it up" and I went "well you're not bringing it up are you..." after everyone went silent

I mean you know, 10/10 to me for hilarity but yeah we've not spoken in 3 years now LOL
I actually love you. You're my type o' friend
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:14 PM #18
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Quote:
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Bit OTT on his part
I know! I hadn't even said anything about him when everyone else was ripping into him and apparently mine was the one worth getting mad over... ah well, we weren't close, it doesn't bother me it's just hilariously awkward .

Oh another one, I got in my lift the other week with like four other people but I only just made it and I don't tend to make eye contact with people in lifts (because who does? Psychopaths, that's who) and then two of them got out on the 3rd floor and I realised the other two were my flatmate and his girlfriend but I've only seen him twice before and don't actually know his name and it just seemed way too late to be like "oh hi" so I then had to get out of the lift and walk into my flat with him right behind me and didn't once acknowledge him . His girlfriend even went "oh my God!" in English (they're foreign but I've no idea where from) and started laughing and saying something in whatever language they speak, so mortifying!
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:15 PM #19
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Oh Zee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:16 PM #20
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why didn't you just say Oh Hi, God i was away in my own world there i didn't even notice you
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:18 PM #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HD View Post
I actually love you. You're my type o' friend
It all comes far too naturally for me...

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Originally Posted by Niamh. View Post
why didn't you just say Oh Hi, God i was away in my own world there i didn't even notice you
Because that's something rational, normal people would do whereas I'm some kind of embarrassment-human hybrid who isn't capable of such things
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:20 PM #22
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Also, they didn't say hi to you either so aren't they equally as bad?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:22 PM #23
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he should have kept it in his pants then, twat.
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Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate

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Old 10-02-2014, 04:23 PM #24
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Quote:
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Also, they didn't say hi to you either so aren't they equally as bad?
Yeah probably. I'm not sure how great his command of English is, never had a proper conversation with him (or any of the people that live in my flat, really)
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:24 PM #25
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Quote:
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he should have kept it in his pants then, twat.
omg
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