[Sunny_01]

Originally posted by Stropz

I'm amazed at just how many details are attended to in some cases. I know of people who have planned for weeks and made sure every single small detail was attended to. It's actually quite disturbing to think that even in their emotional state, they are capable of such intricate planning.

However, it does make you realise that nobody can stop someone from taking their own life. If they are set on doing it, they will do it regardless of intervention.

I was shocked when I realised the extent of planning that had went into my friends suicide. She had even chosen her own poems for her funeral and the order of service! She had made sure that it was "safe" for her to do it when she did by giving off an image of hey I am ok, and actually I think she was. I think she was ok because she knew she did not have to get on with anything else in this life that she had often found terribly unbearable. I can imagine that she felt relieved while she was planning.

As for those that cry for help, I agree they do need help, and those that harm themselves also need help.

Having worked with young people who self harm I find that by encouraging them to be safe while harming was an important part of their support. Encourage them to have a first aid kit with things like steri strips in. No you are not saying it is ok, you are ensuring that they dont panic and end up with dirty infected wounds. They are going to cut themselves anyway so let them do it safely. Also Childline can be difficult to get through to and sometimes finding the right words on the phone can be difficult. People could also try Connexions Direct. It is also a national helpline for young people but offers web chat and email facilities as well as voice calls. www.connexions-direct.com You can log on without giving a real name and chat to someone condientially.

[Emilee]

I was shocked when I realised the extent of planning that had went into my friends suicide. She had even chosen her own poems for her funeral and the order of service! She had made sure that it was "safe" for her to do it when she did by giving off an image of hey I am ok, and actually I think she was. I think she was ok because she knew she did not have to get on with anything else in this life that she had often found terribly unbearable. I can imagine that she felt relieved while she was planning.

OMG! that was so sad it made me cry. Im so sorry. xx

[Sunny_01]

Dont be sorry Emilee - it was a choice she made which is the message I was try to get across.

In all situations I am pro-choice no matter how it upsets me I have to try and look outside the box and remember that it isnt always happening to me, it is happening to the person who has made the choice.

[Ruth]

I don't think anyone can condemn any person who chooses to take their own life. People say it is selfish and nasty - how does that help though? I know people who have committed or attempted suicide, and it is just awful, but to condemn someone for it is wrong (in my eyes). If someone feels suicidal, they must be going through hell. I would always try and help anyone who is feeling that way, but if it is their choice, you have to respect that.

[Scrunchy]

Originally posted by Ruth
I don't think anyone can condemn any person who chooses to take their own life. People say it is selfish and nasty - how does that help though? I know people who have committed or attempted suicide, and it is just awful, but to condemn someone for it is wrong (in my eyes). If someone feels suicidal, they must be going through hell. I would always try and help anyone who is feeling that way, but if it is their choice, you have to respect that.

I have to say, I agree with you on this. If somebody feels driven to end their life, then, more than likely, their reasons are sound.

Sometimes people threaten suicide as a way of seeking attention. Fine, obviously they feel the need to demand a lot of attention. I don't condone that, but maybe we should listen to their distorted pleas, rather than rebuke them for such an attempt.

I believe that, when linked with euthanasia, suicide is entirely acceptible. I find is shocking that people aren't allowed to have the choice over whether they live or not. You may be able to tell that I'm not religious, but everybodies life is their own. Ultimately, if they don't take control, who will? And as such, if they feel that suicide is what they truly want to do, who is anybody else to stop them and say it's wrong. The condition of terminal illness or suffering just emphasises this. Dignitas, the Swiss suicide charity, is a movement that I am in favour of, and would personally want to see a branch legalised in the United Kingdom.

The topic of self-harm is one that I have given a deal of thought to and have some, arguably controversial, thoughts regarding it. Personally, I am of the belief that, as long as it isn't life threatening, it should be relatively accepted on a smaller scale. As a way of relieving emotional tension it is very effective, hence why a large number of people do it. Where some people self-harm on a small scale, others punch walls in anger or frustration. Effectively, this is almost the same, a sudden release of pent-up emotion. Admittedly, self-harm has the potential to develop into a psychological addiction in some cases, and, if taken to an extreme, can have damaging effects.

Contrary to popular belief, self-harm is anything but a "cry for help". This is made obvious by the way that the majority of people who self-harm go out of their way to conceal their wounds, rather than flaunting them to their peers. As it is, people who are known to self-harm are usually stereotyped and judged for their actions. This can aid the transformation of self-harm into a dependancy and addiction, rather than an occasional release, and from there it can develop damaging traits.

Personally, I think a more leniant approach to those who self-harm on a minor scale would be appropriate. Those who take it to a more serious level should be encouraged not to do so, but as long as it remains relatively low-key tolerance could well be a better way of discouraging it than immediately alienating them with counselling and different treatment.


Feel free to comment on anything I've said... I welcome responses and alternative viewpoints

Apologies for the length of this, well done if you've actually read it.

Whether you wish to believe me or not, I have never attempted or considered suicide, and never self-harmed


Scrunchy

[Magic]

I generally think that suicide is bad, but it all depends on the relevant circumstances.

Sometimes people threaten suicide as a way of seeking attention. Fine, obviously they feel the need to demand a lot of attention. I don't condone that, but maybe we should listen to their distorted pleas, rather than rebuke them for such an attempt.

I agree with this statement, and i think we all saw a issue of it earlier in the month. I think those that claim suicide, can often feel they need to be noticed, which often leads people to suicide.

Does that make sense?

[Ann]

now then with me it was a very bad teenage life as my mum was going out with this fella and he used to hit my mum all the time and of course it really got to me so only once i tryed to take all my tablets but then my dad walked in and soon took my tablets off of me and he then sat me down and i told him everything that idiot did to my mum so in the end my dad endered up beating him til he moved out plus he said to my dad i didnt know i was doing it my dad then told him where to get off in swearing which oi wont mention but from then on ive had a cool life and ive got a lovely family and you lot as my friends but it makes me shiver on how some people just do this for an excuse they should be thankful for what they have

[Billy]

aww Ann thats sad

[Magic]

Originally posted by Ann
now then with me it was a very bad teenage life as my mum was going out with this fella and he used to hit my mum all the time and of course it really got to me so only once i tryed to take all my tablets but then my dad walked in and soon took my tablets off of me and he then sat me down and i told him everything that idiot did to my mum so in the end my dad endered up beating him til he moved out plus he said to my dad i didnt know i was doing it my dad then told him where to get off in swearing which oi wont mention but from then on ive had a cool life and ive got a lovely family and you lot as my friends but it makes me shiver on how some people just do this for an excuse they should be thankful for what they have

I COMPLETLY agree with your end point Ann.

I am sorry to hear about your child hood

[Ann]

it was at the time but i was pleased my dad turned up when he did and he made me see reason that theres more to life then ending it

[GiRTh]

A few years ago I lost my job and came perilously close to losing my home. I was extremely depressed. I contemplated ending it all in fact I’d say I gave it some very serious thought. I talked of how everything I’d ever worked for had been taken away from. People talked me out of it, encouraged me to make a fresh start etc. I didn’t lose my home and I’m now in a much happier place. I still don’t know what would have happened if I had lost my home. I would have definitely felt like there was nothing to live for.

[Ann]

aww im glad you sorted that out thats great to hear Girth

[GiRTh]

Thanks Ann.

EDIT: That experience is probably one of the reasons why I'm now so cynical.

[Ann]

your welcome

[Sarah.]

It's a terrible thing but the thing that annoys me the most is the people who convince themselves they have nothing to live for, and it's most likely all for attention, like they would constantly tell people about it and so on.

I've experienced it once in my life and I'm glad to say that part of my life is in the past now. If you are depressed and thinking about suicide then the best thing to do is tell someone you trust, it really helps you

[Ann]

very well said too there thats why i told my dad everything that idiot did to my mum so my dad soon sorted him out in the end and im glad you are now well mate good on you too

[GiRTh]

Indeed. It's good to talk about your troubles.

[Retroman]

To anyone who claims suicide is a sin, or is wrong, then here's a good quote:

"They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person."
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Which would be my opinion on suicide, if that person genuinely wants to die due to too much suffering in their lives.

Some people however become trapped, and simply can't help themselves...and if someone was to make their lives better, they'd change their minds about suicide in an instant.

But then again, if there isn't anyone in their life to help them, they'd surely fall into the first category. And if there is someone in their life to help them, hopefully that help will work and everything will be fine.

I do have a negative opinion of people who throw the word "suicide" around whenever they're feeling angry or upset. They have no intention of killing themselves but broadcast it for attention and a quick "cheer me up"

The only person I knew who commited suicide was my ex girlfriends uncle, who hung himself one day. I respect his right to do so if he can't stand living anymore, but the devastation he left behind for his wife inparticular, wasn't all that forgivable.

[~Kizwiz~]

Since I was about 14 I have always had very troubled thoughts, that I dont deserve to be here....it comes as goes and at times it can be crippling and things just never seem like they will get better.

I have suffered from depression since an early age and its only been diagnosed recently and with work from a wonderful health team things are working.

To have suicidal thoughts are horrid, you are fully aware that you could hurt those close to you but at that time its just too black to see clearly.

This year has been a very rough year and if I am truly honest if Red hasnt been with me... things might have been very very different. However, the love that he gives me and that our children give is a miracle worker.

[Sunny_01]

Girth - the main thing bud is you came through it, tough as it was you did it and you are here to tell us you made it. Depression is awful, it is debilitating and unless you have experienced it first hand it is difficult to walk in someones shoes for a single moment.

Kiz - I have lived in your world for many years as well, dark thoughts are a part of my condition. I am lucky that my husband and family are all aware of when I am having a slip (as is Red Moon clever so and so) and they all (even Red) offer me love, kindness and support. I have an amazing support system of professionals and family that allow me to maintain a pretty normal life. I am lucky that I can function at the level I do, many people with my condition are not able to and often end up committing suicide.

[\PJ/]

Ann what a tradergy,suicide is a terrible thing and sometimes what gets me fired up how they use it in songs so genrally.Usally in RnB/hip hop.

[Ann]

aww thanks pj but he soon got the revenge back as my dad and brothers beat him up then he soon left and he was just an idiot as he would only do it when he was drunk but the next morning he would say that he couldnt remember a thing but gladly my mum is re-married to a respectable dad who just took us all on as his own children and hes lovely too

[GiRTh]

Good on your mum Ann. Spousal abuse is terrible.

[supernoodles!]

I have a suicide story to share with you all,i actually know 5 people who have commited suicide.A work collegue of my dads,my mams cousin (my second cousin),my dads work collegues daughter,a young man who lived opposite me in my street and also a fmaily friend.

Earlier this year (it was the night of shabnams eviction to be exact-odd I remember that) I was sitting by my computor which is infront of the window in the main bedroom of my house which faces onto the rest of my street.Anyway It was about four pm and i noticed a paramedic entering the house,I became suspicious when he left the door wide open for over 20 minutes and later an abulance also turned up.
About an hour and a half later C.I.D turned up at my door and told my mam that the young man (who was only 23 at the time) had commited suicide over a week ago and his suicide had gone unnoticed up until now as his grandmother (whom he lived with) had been on holiday.Earlier that day she had returned from her holiday only to find her grandson hanging from the staircase.I had to answer some questions such as when did I last see him,did I speak to him recently,what did I know about him etc.
About three hours later I was shocked to see his dead body being carried out of the front door on a stretcher,yes he was ina body bag ,but this guy was quite big and I could actually see that he was wearing dark tracksuit bottoms and some sort of jacket.The road sepearting my house and his is literally 6 or 7 steps away from my front door and you just dont expect to see this sort of thing right infront of your eyes

[Ann]

Originally posted by GiRTh
Good on your mum Ann. Spousal abuse is terrible.

aww thanks Girth