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Old 08-06-2016, 02:33 PM #1
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Default Pitching My New Drama Series Scripts To Hollywood.

Some of you may know that I write and have had very near misses with three previous spec script submissions in the past. Well I am currently pitching some more.

Here's a brief rundown:

'PRISON BREAK'

A sinister organisation called 'The European Community' - who have covert designs on on taking over the world, eradicating all Democracy, and installing a 'New World Order' - has trapped and imprisoned the United Kingdom Population by deceit and with the help of successive treasonous British Governments.

Enter the brilliant Nigel Farage who formulates a plan to free the UK from its chains.

Nigel recklessly but bravely takes on the all powerful EU's British Establishment lackeys who secretly control the BBC, ONS, CBI, FT, and the Media, but they are so desperate to preserve the 'Status Quo', they launch an unprecedented campaign of deceitul propaganda to destroy his credibility and convince the British public that they are better off staying in prison because: “outside prison the future is unknown and scary” (wooooo!)

Being a UK citizen, Nigel is imprisoned in the same penitentiary as the rest of the UK - 'The Foxed Raver' penitentiary - (so called because most of the inmates of the jail realise that they have been 'foxed' by the EU and the British Government and are 'raving' angry as a result.

Will Nigel succeed in his daring plan?

Or will the sinister EU and their treasonous British Government lackeys foil
the audacious escape bid?

Stay tuned to 'Prison Break' to find out.
………………………………………………………...

BANDOFSHEEP

Dodgy Dave - Dave Cameron, an ex second hand car dealer who SHOULD have served a 15 year sentence for High Treason and Crimes Against the State – drifts into the sleepy United Kingdom - a country also known as 'BandofSheep' because of the appalling apathy, lethargy, and gullibility of a lot of its citizens.

By stealth Dodgy Dave assumes the identity of a British Prime Minister and is hereafter known as Looks A. Hood – which is what he is.

Hood has his own way of doing things. Not for him the prerequisites of Fair Play, Truth, Loyalty, Honesty and Patriotism - No, being a crook, Hood has only personal monetary gain in mind, and he knows that being Prime Minister is the best way to ensure that objective.

Hood is soon joined by other crooks who have the same vested interests and they help him in his plan and help to keep his secret.

It is not long however, before Hood is suspected by one of his most senior deputies – Broke Locust – who is seething and resentful that he was not given the Prime Minister's job, and it is Broke who eventually openly opposes Hood in the hope of replacing him.

Bandofsheep looks to Hood to destroy a sinister criminal Multi National Corporation who are milking it dry and who are above the law because they have replaced most of the laws with their own and are in control of the rest.

The Corporation - Procter and Gambler - is run by a ruthless gambler named Fly Procter but Hood does not concern himself with Procter because Hood himself enjoys huge covert revenue from Procter's criminal enterprises.

Will BandofSheep be freed from the shackles of its Multi National Corporate masters?

Will Prime Minister Hood be exposed for his real criminal self?

Will Broke Locust – Hood's one time Deputy, and now greatest adversary succeed in ousting Hood and taking his job?

Stay tuned to 'BandofSheep' to find out.

I am also currently writing:

'GAME OF DRONES Zzzzzzzzzzzzz'

The plot of my latest series is very complex so I will not elaborate too much here. It is set in the fictional land of 'Westislost' (because it will be if something is not done soon) and involves several families all fighting each other and engaging in all manner of skullduggery to rule the land.

PRITI STORMBORN of the House PATELRYAN - a beautiful Queen who has lived in exile in Essex with her advisors and Dragons - is intent on reclaiming the country for the benefit of its oppressed populace. She has many titles including:

Breaker of Chains (Because she wants to free the EU enslaved UK and has written a book – 'Britannia Unchained')

The Unburnt – (Because, despite being a TRUE BLUE Conservative, she has emerged from the fires of Cameron indoctrination unscathed and with her integrity intact.)

Protector of the Realm (Someone HAS to protect it.)

Princess Priti recruits 'The Unbullied' an army of patriotic and fiercely loyal warriors who have all their genitalia intact despite many attempts to castrate them by the pro-EU media.

The Unbullied have an army of counterparts – 'The Sullied' - who fight for the EU, and these are led by Davidos Cameronyar, a weasel of a man who secretly never had any balls or integrity, but who has sullied his reputation by exposing himself as a liar and a cheat over his endorsement of the EU.

Davidos uses underhand tricks to further his ambition of preserving the status quo and keep Westislost under the yoke of the EU. Among these are wheeling out now almost decrepit ex-members of The Sullied – all who once held powerful positions but disgraced themselves. These include:

Greyed Worm – real name John of The House of Major, but Greyed Worm suits him better - a one time Leader of Westislost who betrayed his country when he used a deceitful trick taught to him by his mother to sign a treaty with the EU.

This treachery became known as the 'Ma's Trick Treaty.

Tor Ree Poster Boy - real name TonyBoy, the founder of the secret keep Blair Rich Project, and another ex-Leader of Westislost who sullied himself by deceitfully bringing the country to war by invading a foreign nation.

Tor Ree PosterBoy lied that the foreign country's Muslim ruler - Sodding Insane - had built secret weapons with which to destroy ALL the Christian Church Services in Westislost so Westislost invaded, but no Weapons Of Mass Destruction were ever found.

Other major characters in my script are:

NED STARK STARING BONKERS and his siblings Aryan, Santa and Brantub and Richesnone, and Ned's bastard John Snow White.

This family are so named because anyone who believes that the working classes – especially Notherners - will EVER get a fair crack of the whip in WESTISLOST never mind RULE it, has to be stark staring bonkers.

What do you think? Are my plots too far fetched?
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Old 08-06-2016, 02:36 PM #2
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I think Rob has some serious competition on the forum!
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Old 08-06-2016, 02:36 PM #3
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nice one Kirk
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Old 08-06-2016, 02:37 PM #4
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Old 08-06-2016, 05:16 PM #5
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I think you have the makings of something there Kirk I look forward to reading more of your ace brief rundowns Maybe you could extend some to further afield.
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Old 08-06-2016, 07:12 PM #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kirklancaster View Post
Some of you may know that I write and have had very near misses with three previous spec script submissions in the past. Well I am currently pitching some more.

Here's a brief rundown:

'PRISON BREAK'

A sinister organisation called 'The European Community' - who have covert designs on on taking over the world, eradicating all Democracy, and installing a 'New World Order' - has trapped and imprisoned the United Kingdom Population by deceit and with the help of successive treasonous British Governments.

Enter the brilliant Nigel Farage who formulates a plan to free the UK from its chains.

Nigel recklessly but bravely takes on the all powerful EU's British Establishment lackeys who secretly control the BBC, ONS, CBI, FT, and the Media, but they are so desperate to preserve the 'Status Quo', they launch an unprecedented campaign of deceitul propaganda to destroy his credibility and convince the British public that they are better off staying in prison because: “outside prison the future is unknown and scary” (wooooo!)

Being a UK citizen, Nigel is imprisoned in the same penitentiary as the rest of the UK - 'The Foxed Raver' penitentiary - (so called because most of the inmates of the jail realise that they have been 'foxed' by the EU and the British Government and are 'raving' angry as a result.

Will Nigel succeed in his daring plan?

Or will the sinister EU and their treasonous British Government lackeys foil
the audacious escape bid?

Stay tuned to 'Prison Break' to find out.
………………………………………………………...

BANDOFSHEEP

Dodgy Dave - Dave Cameron, an ex second hand car dealer who SHOULD have served a 15 year sentence for High Treason and Crimes Against the State – drifts into the sleepy United Kingdom - a country also known as 'BandofSheep' because of the appalling apathy, lethargy, and gullibility of a lot of its citizens.

By stealth Dodgy Dave assumes the identity of a British Prime Minister and is hereafter known as Looks A. Hood – which is what he is.

Hood has his own way of doing things. Not for him the prerequisites of Fair Play, Truth, Loyalty, Honesty and Patriotism - No, being a crook, Hood has only personal monetary gain in mind, and he knows that being Prime Minister is the best way to ensure that objective.

Hood is soon joined by other crooks who have the same vested interests and they help him in his plan and help to keep his secret.

It is not long however, before Hood is suspected by one of his most senior deputies – Broke Locust – who is seething and resentful that he was not given the Prime Minister's job, and it is Broke who eventually openly opposes Hood in the hope of replacing him.

Bandofsheep looks to Hood to destroy a sinister criminal Multi National Corporation who are milking it dry and who are above the law because they have replaced most of the laws with their own and are in control of the rest.

The Corporation - Procter and Gambler - is run by a ruthless gambler named Fly Procter but Hood does not concern himself with Procter because Hood himself enjoys huge covert revenue from Procter's criminal enterprises.

Will BandofSheep be freed from the shackles of its Multi National Corporate masters?

Will Prime Minister Hood be exposed for his real criminal self?

Will Broke Locust – Hood's one time Deputy, and now greatest adversary succeed in ousting Hood and taking his job?

Stay tuned to 'BandofSheep' to find out.

I am also currently writing:

'GAME OF DRONES Zzzzzzzzzzzzz'

The plot of my latest series is very complex so I will not elaborate too much here. It is set in the fictional land of 'Westislost' (because it will be if something is not done soon) and involves several families all fighting each other and engaging in all manner of skullduggery to rule the land.

PRITI STORMBORN of the House PATELRYAN - a beautiful Queen who has lived in exile in Essex with her advisors and Dragons - is intent on reclaiming the country for the benefit of its oppressed populace. She has many titles including:

Breaker of Chains (Because she wants to free the EU enslaved UK and has written a book – 'Britannia Unchained')

The Unburnt – (Because, despite being a TRUE BLUE Conservative, she has emerged from the fires of Cameron indoctrination unscathed and with her integrity intact.)

Protector of the Realm (Someone HAS to protect it.)

Princess Priti recruits 'The Unbullied' an army of patriotic and fiercely loyal warriors who have all their genitalia intact despite many attempts to castrate them by the pro-EU media.

The Unbullied have an army of counterparts – 'The Sullied' - who fight for the EU, and these are led by Davidos Cameronyar, a weasel of a man who secretly never had any balls or integrity, but who has sullied his reputation by exposing himself as a liar and a cheat over his endorsement of the EU.

Davidos uses underhand tricks to further his ambition of preserving the status quo and keep Westislost under the yoke of the EU. Among these are wheeling out now almost decrepit ex-members of The Sullied – all who once held powerful positions but disgraced themselves. These include:

Greyed Worm – real name John of The House of Major, but Greyed Worm suits him better - a one time Leader of Westislost who betrayed his country when he used a deceitful trick taught to him by his mother to sign a treaty with the EU.

This treachery became known as the 'Ma's Trick Treaty.

Tor Ree Poster Boy - real name TonyBoy, the founder of the secret keep Blair Rich Project, and another ex-Leader of Westislost who sullied himself by deceitfully bringing the country to war by invading a foreign nation.

Tor Ree PosterBoy lied that the foreign country's Muslim ruler - Sodding Insane - had built secret weapons with which to destroy ALL the Christian Church Services in Westislost so Westislost invaded, but no Weapons Of Mass Destruction were ever found.

Other major characters in my script are:

NED STARK STARING BONKERS and his siblings Aryan, Santa and Brantub and Richesnone, and Ned's bastard John Snow White.

This family are so named because anyone who believes that the working classes – especially Notherners - will EVER get a fair crack of the whip in WESTISLOST never mind RULE it, has to be stark staring bonkers.

What do you think? Are my plots too far fetched?
Loving them Kirk!
Maybe do one about a bunch of vegetarian zombies who all voted to stay in a corrupt onion because they all wore blinkers until it was too late to get out?
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Old 08-06-2016, 07:21 PM #7
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Kirk Excellent as always

I voted well over a week ago by post -I 'm an outtie

Last edited by hijaxers; 08-06-2016 at 07:22 PM.
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Old 08-06-2016, 07:51 PM #8
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Rob hew?
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Old 09-06-2016, 05:15 AM #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MB. View Post
I think you've got far too much time on your hands
"Too much time on my hands"? Haa MB - I am probably THE oldest member on TIBB,and I usually go to sleep around 1 to 2 AM and rise around 4.30 to 5 AM.

I regard my time as the most precious currency God has given to me - far more valuable than money - and I try to spend that currency far more wisely than I have ever done money.

I pack my long days with hard physical graft, still train once a week at my gym, and devote long hours to reading and writing, and painting and sculpting - among other pleasing pursuits - and I still leave myself time to indulge myself in more 'whimsical' activities such as contributing to this wonderful forum.

This morning for exampe, I rose at just before 4.30 and have just finished reading numerous varied and lengthy internet articles on the EU.

I have until 8 am before I dare begin renovation work on this property out of respect for my neighbours, so I am enjoying a beautiful cup of coffee (or two) and reading through some of the threads on here.

If I had a thousand pounds disposable income left after all my bills and expenses were paid, and I chose to spend it indulging myself with friends at, say, an amusement park , I leave myself wide open to criticism that I "have too much money", but that would be an erroneous observation, because I have 'taken care of business' and what remains is MY money, and I CHOOSE to spend it where and how I derive the greatest personal pleasure.

The currency which is my time is no different, and I choose to spend some of it on here - as I note from your 18,000 + posts - so do you.
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Old 09-06-2016, 06:13 AM #10
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..so that told you, MB....Kick Ass Kirk is Back...
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Old 09-06-2016, 06:59 AM #11
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..so that told you, MB....Kick Ass Kirk is Back...
Feel the love Princess.
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Old 09-06-2016, 07:00 AM #12
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My thanks to Ammi, Ashley, Cherie, Suze and Johnny, and HiJax and Marsh, for your wonderfully satisfying comments - your apprecition is better than a Pulitzer Prize.

I am now moved to post, in the near future, the full script of my wonderful parody of the 'Wizard of Oz' - a tale about the UK during the abhorrent John Major's tenure as Prime Minister following the Thatcher years.

It is called; 'The Wishhard of Dross'. here's a part run down:

In it, following an accident, Dorothy and Toto are transported by a severe tornado - no, make that a Twister, a MAJOR TWISTER (John is his first name) to a land somewhere 'over the rainbow' - the 'Land of Dross' - a land of stark contrasts where 90% of the country live in appalling poverty and the leader of Dross and his minions live the high life.

Dorothy accidently kills the witch of the East when she lands.

As soon as Dorothy lands in Dross, she is greeted by the MUNCHSKINS - a people so named because they are so poverty-stricken that all they have to eat are the skins of butchered animals from the abattoirs of Dross which are 'graciously' donated to them by the 'CONS' party - the ruling party of Dross who live in the Emerald Palace - all of whom of course, dine well on the meat.

The Mayor of the Munchskins explains that the Cons have had two terms of government and that each term saw life get even tougher for the citizens of Dross.

Dorothy is incensed that any rulers could treat their people in such an unfair manner and asks how such mean, selfish, and uncaring people could ever get voted into power and how Dross ever got into such a state.

The Mayor of the Munchskins explains that the ruling party l- The CONS - lied to the people - promising to solve all and any problems and to govern Dross for the good of ALL its citizens, but then, once elected, they shirked from dealing with such problems and turned their backs on the people.

"Why, that's downright cowardly and YELLOW of them. But I'm surprised that you all fell for their lies and voted them in for a second term" remarked Dorothy.

The Mayor continues that the Cons are very adept liars and very polished conmen.

"So they are SLICK" commented Dorothy.

"Yes, indeed" agrees the Mayor "They have a dishonest CODE they live by, and I'm afraid that is what got them elected twice."

Dorothy asks; "You mean that's how they got to the Emerald City?"

"Yes" replies the Mayor:

"They followed The YELLOW SLICK CODE"

(groan )

At this all the Munchskins begin singing and dancing - "Follow The Yellow Slick Code".

The singing and dancing is interrupted when three men appear - they are Eric Heffer, Tony Ben and Ken Livingstone.

"Excuse me" says Ken to the Mayor. "Could you tell us how we can find a place called 'Middle Ground'?

The Mayor shakes his head. "Why are you looking for it?"

"Our party leader rollocked us and said that our politics are too 'Red' and that our extreme Leftie views were the reason why we were slipping down the opinion polls. He told us to 'Feck Off' and not to come back until we had all found the 'Middle Ground'. "

"Yes" says Eric. "And when we asked him where we would find some 'Middle Ground' he said that we might as well look Over The Rainbow' - So here we are".

Suddenly the three men and the Munchskins become terrified and flee as a very mean looking witch - who looks just like Maggie Thatcher - lands on a broomstick in front of Dorothy.

"Run Dorothy" cries the Mayor "It's Onger - The Wicked Witch of The West. You killed her sister"

The witch cackles and violently grasps Dorothy's arm.

"Why you're not cold like I imagined witches to be" Exclaims Dorothy.

"Of course I'm not cold you idiot" replies Onger. "I invaded the Falklands didn't I? Everyone knows I'm a warm Onger" (another groan? )

"Listen, you little twat" Onger goes on. "I saw you with those three loony leftie Red's who are slipping down the Opinion Polls. Tell me where they've gone or I'll have you flogged. Give them up to me"

"No" screams Dorothy. "I'll NEVER give up the RED SLIPPERS" (groan x 3?)

The witch flies off after giving Dorothy 24 hours to give up the Red Slippers, and then the Munchskins come out of hiding.

"Oh my" says Dorothy. "This Dross is a really strange place. I want to go home to Aunty Em".

The Mayor tells Dorothy that to get home she must see CON MAJOR, the Leader of the Cons - 'The Great and All Powerful Wishhard of Dross' - who lives in the Emerald Palace.

"Why do they call him the Wishard?" asks Dorothy.

The Mayor explains by singing:

"Con Major deals with State problems
In his own very special way
He will cross his fingers, close his eyes
And WISH HARD for them to go away."

To be continued. (Or maybe not )
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Old 09-06-2016, 08:55 AM #13
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While I would not agree with the content myself, (and instantly by the way welcome back Kirk).
It would however be a fictional drama anyway and on what you have shared above,certainly for me a worthwhile drama to watch as a single programme or series I'd say.

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Old 09-06-2016, 09:28 AM #14
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While I would not agree with the content myself, (and instantly by the way welcome back Kirk).
It would however be a fictional drama anyway and on what you have shared above,certainly for me a worthwhile drama to watch as a single programme or series I'd say.
Thanks Joey.

This is just a brief excerpt of a stage musical of this, and the abridged version was actually performed way back by an Am Dram company. (very socialist one too ) It was the era of Miner's Strikes and all.
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Old 09-06-2016, 09:56 AM #15
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Brilliant, Kirk
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Old 09-06-2016, 02:32 PM #16
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Brilliant, Kirk
Thanks Jamie.
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Old 09-06-2016, 02:37 PM #17
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Best of luck Kirk,they are brilliant I hope you have written me into one of those
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Old 09-06-2016, 03:24 PM #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kirklancaster View Post
"Too much time on my hands"? Haa MB - I am probably THE oldest member on TIBB,and I usually go to sleep around 1 to 2 AM and rise around 4.30 to 5 AM.

I regard my time as the most precious currency God has given to me - far more valuable than money - and I try to spend that currency far more wisely than I have ever done money.

I pack my long days with hard physical graft, still train once a week at my gym, and devote long hours to reading and writing, and painting and sculpting - among other pleasing pursuits - and I still leave myself time to indulge myself in more 'whimsical' activities such as contributing to this wonderful forum.

This morning for exampe, I rose at just before 4.30 and have just finished reading numerous varied and lengthy internet articles on the EU.

I have until 8 am before I dare begin renovation work on this property out of respect for my neighbours, so I am enjoying a beautiful cup of coffee (or two) and reading through some of the threads on here.

If I had a thousand pounds disposable income left after all my bills and expenses were paid, and I chose to spend it indulging myself with friends at, say, an amusement park , I leave myself wide open to criticism that I "have too much money", but that would be an erroneous observation, because I have 'taken care of business' and what remains is MY money, and I CHOOSE to spend it where and how I derive the greatest personal pleasure.

The currency which is my time is no different, and I choose to spend some of it on here - as I note from your 18,000 + posts - so do you.
Oh my god
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