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General Chat General discussion. Want to chat about anything not covered in another forum - This is the place! |
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#1 | ||
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Senior Member
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Scene: The Beau Vista Nursing Home
Two old ladies are sitting outside, having a crafty smoke out of sight of the matron. Agnes: I hold with this new NO SMOKING carry on in the home. Fancy having to sit out here like a couple of boys behind the bike sheds! Miriam: I know but at least they can't stop us out here. Agnes: I don't believe it. Now it's started to rain! With that, she put down her cigarette, picked up her handbag, rummaged around and pulled out a condom and a pair of scissors. She cut off the end of the condom and put it over her cigarette, and then continued to smoke. Miriam: What on earth is that you've got there Agnes? Agnes: It's a condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Miriam: That's a handy thing. Can I have one? Agnes: Sorry Miriam, that was my last one. Miriam: Oh well, never mind. Where can I get some from? Agnes: Well, they do sell them at the chemist. Miriam: Thanks a lot Agnes, I'll have to go down and get myself some of those! The next day, Miriam hobbles into the local chemist and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.The man is a little embarrassed, looks at her (she is, after all, over 80 years of age) and asks quietly and very delicately: Chemist: Are you sure Madam, that you meant to ask for condoms? Miriam: I certainly am, young man, and there's no need to whisper. I am too old to be embarassed by something like that. All I know is it's something I've always enjoyed. I started when I was 14 and I don't see any point in stopping now. Chemist: Of course Madam, absolutely. I do aplologise. Now what brand do you prefer? Miriam: Doesn't matter sonny, as long they fit a Camel. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Fot those too young to know: ![]() P.S. I am NOT encouraging you all to smoke. As Miriam and Agnes know, it's not big and it's not clever. |
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#2 | |||
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Senior Member
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ROB, I'm supposed to be working and everyone is wondering why I've just fallen off my chair!!!!!!!
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#3 | |||
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Senior Member
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#4 | |||
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Senior Member
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Very good, ROB!! Made me lol.
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#5 | ||
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Senior Member
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Nice One
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#6 | ||
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BRILLIANT! Very very good ROB X
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#7 | |||
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Senior Member
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Naughty but nice Rob. You have cheered me up on a miserable day !
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