[DemolitionRed]

In my working role I’m expected to behave professionally on all levels. There is though, always a certain level of sexuality that goes on. People flirt, though not openly and certainly not to the point of awkwardness. People over dress for meetings and women play the weak and vulnerable whilst men play the heroic masculine male from time to time. Everyone though, knows not to cross the line. We all have a job to do and we all have deadlines we are expected to meet.

We have this one gay guy who works in our team. Not so long ago, when he started, you wouldn’t of known his sexual preference. He was quiet, diligent and friendly. A couple of months ago he told us all he was gay and that was well accepted by everyone. Shortly after that his voice went up a couple of pitches and he started using camp mannerisms, that was fine too, though the sudden change was a little amusing. He’s now a complete diva and makes constant sexual innuendos towards some of the guys and puts on this silly feigned act of fainting when he sees a paramedic or police officer. He’s become this extrovert performer and its starting to feel like we have this loud, rude, crude drag queen disrupting and causing chaos within the ranks. Nobody says anything because nobody wants to be accused of being homophobic.

This got me thinking. Hetrosexual men and women know not to behave in a sexual manner within the workplace. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen but we all know the potential consequences. Camp men don’t appear to have those same rules and when they start acting up, like this guy above, nobody has a clue how to handle them.

Any thoughts greatly appreciated!

[Niamh.]

Honestly it's never something I've noticed or came across, is it really a massive issue in society? I mean I've come across far far far more straight and totally inappropriate men in my working life than gay men tbh

[Cal.]

I don't think it's a massive issue in most work places tbh. The constant extrovert performance would really wind me up however and I think being sexually crude is dependent on the individual. Being camp is fine, as you've said, but being overtly sexually crude all the time is not.

[LeatherTrumpet]

No DR is not asking if its a problem in workplaces she is asking for advice on this specific incident

[DemolitionRed]

Originally Posted by ChristmasNeeve

Honestly it's never something I've noticed or came across, is it really a massive issue in society? I mean I've come across far far far more straight and totally inappropriate men in my working life than gay men tbh

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind camp men but when it becomes Ott within the workplace, it can have an impact on other workers. The guy is a perpetual clown and its disruptive. If any of us behaved like he does, someone from above would be having a word in our ear, but he gets away with being disruptive because its all part and parcel of his campness.

[LeatherTrumpet]

Take him aside and tell him he is acting like a prick and he better quit before he gets a sexual harassment case on his ass

[Northern Monkey]

If it goes too far and he starts making men feel uncomfortable or harassed then warn him,If he does it again sack him.
Being gay doesn’t give you a pass to be a perv at work.

[Cal.]

Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14

Take him aside and tell him he is acting like a prick and he better quit before he gets a sexual harassment case on his ass

Well they can't do that because they'd just be accused of homophobia. They'd need to go higher up and explain the impact it's having on the work place and on the team.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by DemolitionRed

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind camp men but when it becomes Ott within the workplace, it can have an impact on other workers. The guy is a perpetual clown and its disruptive. If any of us behaved like he does, someone from above would be having a word in our ear, but he gets away with being disruptive because its all part and parcel of his campness.

Well he shouldn't be dealt with any differently than if he were a straight man or woman acting overly sexually and inappropriately but I can see why you'd be more reluctant to complain for fear of being labelled homophobic

[AnnieK]

An email from the higher ups reiterating expected behaviour in the workplace and sent to everyone may be enough to make him check his behaviour. If nothing changes then he can be made aware that his behaviour is unacceptable as per email that went to all staff etc.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

If it goes too far and he starts making men feel uncomfortable or harassed then warn him,If he does it again sack him.
Being gay doesn’t give you a pass to be a perv at work.

I would go with this, you don't get a free pass to behave unprofessionally just because you can use "a card" , its not really on in the workplace to act like this. If you have a manager mention it to him/her, if you are the manager don't feel bad about taking him aside, you would have no hesitation if the guy was straight and given its all about equality these days, that means being equal in every way

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

An email from the higher ups reiterating expected behaviour in the workplace and sent to everyone may be enough to make him check his behaviour. If nothing changes then he can be made aware that his behaviour is unacceptable as per email that went to all staff etc.

Excellent advice!

[Niamh.]

Yeah that's a good suggestion Annie

[LeatherTrumpet]

Yes head up the email "Attention all Campmates"

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14

Yes head up the email "Attention all Campmates"

[Cal.]

Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14

Yes head up the email "Attention all Campmates"

[parmnion]

It needs reported to your human resources team...he needs a verbal warning and monitored.

[bitontheslide]

The usual is to get sent on awareness course ... that way you don't need to say anything

[Glenn.]

Sack it

[DemolitionRed]

I'm not the manager so I don't have to directly deal with him.

Some good advice here though so thanks.

I'd be really interested to know how HR would deal with this. I suspect there would be a lot of coughing and spluttering before a very polite letter was sent over to him. Annies suggestion of a letter to all of us could be the perfect solution.

I'm sure none of us want him to lose his job but that's not going to happen without a prior written warning.

[Oliver_W]

Annie's advice is the best route to take, but I don't see why anyone should be afraid of coming off as homophobic - the way he's behaving is unprofessional, and he's shown before that he's capable of acting properly in the workplace.

[DemolitionRed]

Originally Posted by The_Hogfather

Annie's advice is the best route to take, but I don't see why anyone should be afraid of coming off as homophobic - the way he's behaving is unprofessional, and he's shown before that he's capable of acting properly in the workplace.

Yes, that's the thing. We have all experienced him being professional.

[Brillopad]

Originally Posted by ChristmasNeeve

Well he shouldn't be dealt with any differently than if he were a straight man or woman acting overly sexually and inappropriately but I can see why you'd be more reluctant to complain for fear of being labelled homophobic

Which is ridiculous. Is it such a surprise that people object to PC if certain groups of individuals are perceived as being untouchable and above the same laws that apply to the rest of us. PC often creates this atmosphere and is in effect a highly dubious practice that singles out individuals for special treatment.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by DemolitionRed

Yes, that's the thing. We have all experienced him being professional.

Just makes me wonder as he felt comfortable enough to tell you guys that he was gay he felt he could be more himself maybe, if he is young it may be he doesn't realise it isn't acceptable in the workplace

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Brillopad

Which is ridiculous. Is it such a surprise that people object to PC if certain groups of individuals are perceived as being untouchable and above the same laws that apply to the rest of us. PC often creates this atmosphere and is in effect a highly dubious practice that singles out individuals for special treatment.

Well tbf Brillo, the reason why people are afraid to complain about stuff like this is because homophobia was (and still is although not anywhere near as badly) an issue. If weren't for "PC" in the work place homophobia could still be rampant