[LeatherTrumpet]

Originally Posted by UserSince2005

9 year olds shouldnt be concerned about there sexuality at all.

What made him think he was gay? because he was told his was gay because he acted camp?

I think he should have just been a kid and not been encouraged to be obbessessed with his sexuality at such a young age.

such a sad story. 9 is far too young

Indeed and i would hope his mother warned him about going into school announcing that?

Obviously all the facts are not in regarding this tragic tale

[ArgyESC]

That's just sad.
Tbh I don't get it how he knew he was gay. Sexuality keeps developing at such an age. Maybe he thought so because he was behaving "camp" as it was already mentioned.
Regardless, he definitely shouldn't have come out to the whole school. Of course he should have kept being himself but coming out to everyone is dangerous. Kids (or more like teenagers) should be advised to come out to people they trust and not tell everyone.

[ethanjames]

is that what we are debating here how a kid knew he was gay is that the problem here??? because for myself im still confused how kids can push a poor confident child to suicide

[ArgyESC]

Originally Posted by ethanjames

is that what we are debating here how a kid knew he was gay is that the problem here??? because for myself im still confused how kids can push a poor confident child to suicide

Of course the behaviour of those kids was awful, no one is doubting that.
However, it wouldn't be easy at all for him to change their attitude. What he could easily have done though is keep himself safe. That's what we are analysing here. If all these kids keep themselves safe from bullies it will be much easier to go through it all.

[ethanjames]

Originally Posted by ArgyESC

Of course the behaviour of those kids was awful, no one is doubting that.
However, it wouldn't be easy at all for him to change their attitude. What he could easily have done though is keep himself safe. That's what we are analysing here. If all these kids keep themselves safe from bullies it will be much easier to go through it all.

kids shouldn't have to be bullied though for being who they are and we should think more about how to stop the bullying and less how to tune someones identity down. if a kid is being bullied for being out as gay i dont think being out as gay is the issue. people should be proud of him being who he wants to be.

[LeatherTrumpet]

Originally Posted by ethanjames

is that what we are debating here how a kid knew he was gay is that the problem here??? because for myself im still confused how kids can push a poor confident child to suicide

well most kids will get bullied at some time in their life but 99.999% dont kill themselves

[ethanjames]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

well most kids will get bullied at some time in their life but 99.999% dont kill themselves

yes im aware its not the kids fault they get bullied though so they shouldnt have to change themselves to fit societys norms

[Alf]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

well most kids will get bullied at some time in their life but 99.999% dont kill themselves

This is very true.

The questions in this story need to be aimed at parenting.

[ArgyESC]

Originally Posted by ethanjames

kids shouldn't have to be bullied though for being who they are and we should think more about how to stop the bullying and less how to tune someones identity down. if a kid is being bullied for being out as gay i dont think being out as gay is the issue. people should be proud of him being who he wants to be.

Totally agree with you, of course that's the issue and I hope it gets better the years to come, but a little kid can't do much to change it. Many years are needed to change this situation and for now such kids should try their best not to put themselves at risk. Be yourself and let them assume whatever, coming out to everyone at your school is sadly not a very good idea even in 2018 though...

[LeatherTrumpet]

Originally Posted by ethanjames

yes im aware its not the kids fault they get bullied though so they shouldnt have to change themselves to fit societys norms

You deal with the cards you are dealt, not the cards you want to be dealt

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

A horrid situation that is all too common. The School has since released platitude laden PR statements to cover their own arses but it looks like nothing's going to change. So sick of seeing stories like this and nothing happening as a response to it. Most schools would rather brush bullying under the table rather than deal with it and that attitude costs lives.

Another child dead in another multi-lives changing tragedy which did NOT need to happen.

I totally agree with the emboldened too because that has been my experience.

[Toy Soldier]

That a 9 year old - who can't yet even have any real concept of life and death - would take their own life is genuinely heartbreaking.

I would say though that there is clearly a longer story here... he did not kill himself after "four days" of bullying. That part of the story is utter nonsense and really underemphasises the prolonged mental anguish that leads to suicide. Also the phrasing of "she reassured him she still loved him" seems a little odd, to me. I wonder if his family really did react as well as is being reported, to be frank.

[ethanjames]

Originally Posted by ArgyESC

Totally agree with you, of course that's the issue and I hope it gets better the years to come, but a little kid can't do much to change it. Many years are needed to change this situation and for now such kids should try their best not to put themselves at risk. Be yourself and let them assume whatever, coming out to everyone at your school is sadly not a very good idea even in 2018 though...

i agree hopefully it will eventually get better!

[jaxie]

Originally Posted by Underscore

RIP...

Schools are toxic for LGBT people and this issue needs addressing with full force.

Schools can be toxic for literally anyone. Sad fact.

[jaxie]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

That a 9 year old - who can't yet even have any real concept of life and death - would take their own life is genuinely heartbreaking.

I would say though that there is clearly a longer story here... he did not kill himself after "four days" of bullying. That part of the story is utter nonsense and really underemphasises the prolonged mental anguish that leads to suicide. Also the phrasing of "she reassured him she still loved him" seems a little odd, to me. I wonder if his family really did react as well as is being reported, to be frank.

I wondered about his family too and how a child so young would know whether he was actually gay or not. It feels like this is only half the story and here are many unanswered questions around it.

I also don't really get the concept of coming out to people. Your sexuality is your business, not anyone else's and no one should feel pressured to have to tell others their preferences.

Bullying is as old as schools. I don't think schools know how to deal with it and part of the problem is mainstream education doesn't suit every child.

[Elliot]

I hope the central focus of this debate isn’t whether a 9 year old can realise his sexuality and instead this absurd hostile culture of bullying in schools which is ruining the mental health and even lives of millions of school kids and how schools aren’t adequalty dealing with it

[LeatherTrumpet]

Originally Posted by Elliot

I hope the central focus of this debate isn’t whether a 9 year old can realise his sexuality and instead this absurd hostile culture of bullying in schools which is ruining the mental health and even lives of millions of school kids and how schools aren’t adequalty dealing with it

how do you know where the bullying happened?

[jaxie]

Originally Posted by Elliot

I hope the central focus of this debate isn’t whether a 9 year old can realise his sexuality and instead this absurd hostile culture of bullying in schools which is ruining the mental health and even lives of millions of school kids and how schools aren’t adequalty dealing with it

It's a discussion and the why's and wherefors are an important part of the whole discussion.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by ArgyESC

Of course the behaviour of those kids was awful, no one is doubting that.
However, it wouldn't be easy at all for him to change their attitude. What he could easily have done though is keep himself safe. That's what we are analysing here. If all these kids keep themselves safe from bullies it will be much easier to go through it all.

I agree ,
This story is depressing as hell though , it's horrific that a kid as young as 9 can even contemplate suicide !!! Let alone actually go through with it . Clearly he had alot of psychological problems.

I think at such a young age he should of just been a kid. And worried about his sexuality when he's older. Surely at 9 he wouldn't of been thinking of relationships so why announce it ? .

And what if he was just confused and got influenced by social media and others . I already find it weird how little kids talk about dating like wtf you still sing nursery rhymes and get your food cut up by your parents .

But alot needs addressing here not just with the school,at such a young age his brain development hasn't fully matured. Maybe he didn't have the right support around him .

However bullying happens regardless of who you are etc. So even if he DIDN'T broadcast it ,he probably still would of been targeted as bullies are usually weak cowards . Even when people don't say or do anything they get picked on for no reason . So that needs tackling and teacher's and schools need to try and stop bullying! .

[Alf]

The mother has done an interview on CNN.

I'll let Arista post the video, I don't touch CNN, I might catch something!

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Elliot

I hope the central focus of this debate isn’t whether a 9 year old can realise his sexuality and instead this absurd hostile culture of bullying in schools which is ruining the mental health and even lives of millions of school kids and how schools aren’t adequalty dealing with it

I think all the factors should be discussed when something this tragic and unusual for a person of that age happens. If nothing else to help prevent something like this from happening again. Are young children over exposed to things they shouldn't even being thinking about yet for example. Too much access to social media and that kind of thing

[Tom4784]

Originally Posted by jaxie

I wondered about his family too and how a child so young would know whether he was actually gay or not. It feels like this is only half the story and here are many unanswered questions around it.

I also don't really get the concept of coming out to people. Your sexuality is your business, not anyone else's and no one should feel pressured to have to tell others their preferences.

Bullying is as old as schools. I don't think schools know how to deal with it and part of the problem is mainstream education doesn't suit every child.

Kids have crushes at that age and younger sometimes, he just happened to have crushes on boys and knew what that meant. A person doesn't decide their sexuality, it simply is something that is. It's sad that we're putting his sexuality under a microscope and not the school environment that facilitated the bullying.

You don't get the concept of coming out because it's something that doesn't apply to you. LGBT people tend to be scared to be themselves, before we come out we'll change who we are and how we act in order to pass as 'normal'. Coming out is an important part of LGBT people accepting who they are and becoming confident in who they are. It's not about saying whether you like dick or vag but accepting what will be a huge part of you life and making peace with it.

[LeatherTrumpet]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Kids have crushes at that age and younger sometimes, he just happened to have crushes on boys and knew what that meant. A person doesn't decide their sexuality, it simply is something that is. It's sad that we're putting his sexuality under a microscope and not the school environment that facilitated the bullying.

You don't get the concept of coming out because it's something that doesn't apply to you. LGBT people tend to be scared to be themselves, before we come out we'll change who we are and how we act in order to pass as 'normal'. Coming out is an important part of LGBT people accepting who they are and becoming confident in who they are. It's not about saying whether you like dick or vag but accepting what will be a huge part of you life and making peace with it.

how do you know the alleged bullying happened anywhere near the school?

[Tom4784]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

how do you know the alleged bullying happened anywhere near the school?

Doesn't matter if the bullying takes place on school grounds or not, if a student is bullying another student and the link that binds them together is the school then it's the school's responsibility to act.

But, judging from the reports and testimonies, the bullying didn't happen offsite so it's a moot point all together.

[jaxie]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Kids have crushes at that age and younger sometimes, he just happened to have crushes on boys and knew what that meant. A person doesn't decide their sexuality, it simply is something that is. It's sad that we're putting his sexuality under a microscope and not the school environment that facilitated the bullying.

You don't get the concept of coming out because it's something that doesn't apply to you. LGBT people tend to be scared to be themselves, before we come out we'll change who we are and how we act in order to pass as 'normal'. Coming out is an important part of LGBT people accepting who they are and becoming confident in who they are. It's not about saying whether you like dick or vag but accepting what will be a huge part of you life and making peace with it.

Children who are not gay also have same sex crushes at 9. At that age it's all a bit hazy really.

You have no idea about my sexuality because I haven't declared it so don't presume please.

I don't understand the concept of coming out because declaring your private life publicly is daft. It's your business, not everyone else's.