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Serious Debates & News Debate and discussion about political, moral, philosophical, celebrity and news topics. |
View Poll Results: Do You Have a Thick Skin | ||||||
Yes | 15 | 44.12% | ||||
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No | 10 | 29.41% | ||||
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I'm not real sure, I usually end uncomfortable conversations rather than take it further | 3 | 8.82% | ||||
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No, and it doesn't help I struggle with a mental illness | 6 | 17.65% | ||||
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Voters: 34. You may not vote on this poll |
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13-03-2018, 05:00 PM | #1 | |||
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Triumph of the Weird
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.. And are you able to keep your perspective when having an argument or debate with someone?
I think this is a pretty straight forward question? If you answered yes, what would be your advice to others struggling with this issue and how did you resolve it? What is a give-away to you that someone else does not have a thick skin? For me, the biggest give-away is when a person tries to redirect the conversation away from themselves and their behavior. This may even be this case without them being the topic of conversation... I try to leave conversations or put people in ignore in this category because it usually leads to a toxic exchange super quickly. I think a lot of people who are in debates online, they are attracted to people with the same thin skins... because those folk are very easy to distract and it makes them less of a threat when it comes to personal attacks. I don't think it is necessarily healthy for two people to sit there and pick at each other's scabs. Nothing intellectually is gained from these conversations for the people in it or the observers, (outside of a lesson in human psychology), as the people are often too distracted by heated words and can't stay on topic... |
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13-03-2018, 05:10 PM | #2 | |||
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it’s a mad, mad world
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lol no
i still remember one time where a member said something that was slightly mean to me and i still feel awkward speaking to them because of it it was around november time, but he probably doesn’t even realise |
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13-03-2018, 05:17 PM | #3 | |||
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haunted
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spill the tea!
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13-03-2018, 05:18 PM | #4 | |||
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A great thief
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not at all
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13-03-2018, 05:20 PM | #5 | |||
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Withano
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Yh, but everyone loves me so I rarely ever put it to practice.
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13-03-2018, 05:22 PM | #6 | |||
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A great thief
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13-03-2018, 05:22 PM | #7 | |||
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Simba Wiv Ya Friggin ‘Air
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Absolutely not lmao, I hate being told that there’s anything wrong with me (as shallow as it sounds, I just do). I think it boils down to the fact that a) i’m very concerned with how people see me and b) I’m a very jealous person
Last edited by Daniel-X; 13-03-2018 at 05:24 PM. |
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13-03-2018, 05:31 PM | #8 | |||
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Skinny Legend
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Yeah idgaf what people think
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The scars on my mind are on replay |
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13-03-2018, 05:33 PM | #9 | |||
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it’s a mad, mad world
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13-03-2018, 05:36 PM | #10 | |||
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Senior Member
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Yes.
But then I don't take anything personal that is said in a debate, and I really try not to be personal to the people in the debate. Agree to disagree would be my advice. |
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13-03-2018, 05:41 PM | #11 | |||
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Senior Member
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Its a tough one to answer, particularly online. People often try to portray themselves as being thick skinned but you can tell how they react to differing opinions that they are either incredibly thin skinned or totally up their own arses so act incredulous that people don't agree with them so there must be something innately wrong with the other person.
I wouldn't say I had either to be honest. Some days everything is water off a ducks back and nothing winds me up and other days I can be incredibly sensitive.
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13-03-2018, 05:45 PM | #12 | |||
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TiBB’s Very Finest
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Lol no I cry
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I am TiBB’s BEST member as voted for by me Xx Last edited by Jodie.; 13-03-2018 at 05:45 PM. |
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13-03-2018, 05:50 PM | #13 | |||
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Senior Member
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Yeah. I don’t really have advise though. Outside of my family and close friends and fiancé, I just don’t really care what people say or think of me. I think in time perhaps you may just naturally become the same.
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Last edited by Brother Leon; 13-03-2018 at 05:56 PM. |
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13-03-2018, 05:53 PM | #14 | |||
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Triumph of the Weird
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Great responses
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13-03-2018, 06:09 PM | #15 | |||
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Senior Member
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Idk I'm generally not easily offended, but I don't deal with personal attacks well.
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13-03-2018, 06:16 PM | #16 | |||
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13-03-2018, 06:19 PM | #17 | |||
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Queen of Walford
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I think it depends on who says things. If somebody I liked decided to trash me that would hurt but if it is somebody I don't really care about then I don't pay any mind to it.
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13-03-2018, 06:27 PM | #18 | |||
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The peoples princesses
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And an elastic heaaaarrt
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13-03-2018, 07:42 PM | #19 | |||
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POW! BLAM!
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Sure. Very little really matters, especially not words! I never understood why people care so much about what other people can say, why give them the power to rattle your cage?
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13-03-2018, 08:28 PM | #20 | |||
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Triumph of the Weird
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But actually... sometime it's even worse if someone almost never receives criticism. They never develop a way of coping and find themselves unusually distressed in those situations maybe? I was really hungry for it when I was younger, which attracted really "interesting" people into my life early on as I must have been like a sponge... but I kinda feel like I'm much happier now because I sought the criticism or at least stood there while it was being thrown at me. Where I come from, we don't really mince words... so better to get over your thin skin issues when you are younger, whereas when you are older it can really be a stressor. Quote:
Also you're completely right, keeping perspective is so important and I think really key to having/developing/keeping a thick skin. And sometimes, we just need to trust our own gut, like if someone is personally picking on us... if something doesn't feel right, then just walk away, have faith in yourself that you can judge the situation accurately without stooping to the gas-lighting... Though sometimes, if you really care about someone (like a spouse) or feel maybe someone a grip on something we ourselves maybe have issues with, it's good to let our guard down at least a bit and let some soak in... but better to mull it over than to respond immediately. Some sensitive folk think that having a thick skins means we have to bounce back right away or always have some kind of answer to a criticism... actually, I think stepping away and thinking about the words when we have a clearer mind is ideal. But sometimes a response is not even worth it... especially if it something not even worth having an argument over. TiBB also has it's own variant of trash talk, which funny enough, is one reason I am attracted to this place because it doesn't feel as superficial (as an environment anyway)... like half the people in this thread saying "no" to the poll question. I would've never thought they had any issues with criticism. But that just shows we don't always know what other people are feeling about other people's words... I'm like Amy, I would probably be hurt if people I cared about had harsh words for me. But I think sitting with them and taking it means I am giving their feelings more consideration than I would normally... Last edited by Maru; 13-03-2018 at 08:28 PM. |
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13-03-2018, 08:37 PM | #21 | |||
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Triumph of the Weird
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Actually when I was moderating, we used to have people request temporary bans for personal reasons. So it's really actually not that unusual (I think), for some people to just want to reach for the rest button and catch themselves a break... sometimes people have a good relationship with a certain moderator and they will ask them to let them know if they've gone off rails and to issue a temp ban to keep them from getting themselves into trouble... some moderators do it to themselves Last edited by Maru; 13-03-2018 at 08:41 PM. |
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13-03-2018, 10:10 PM | #22 | ||
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Senior Member
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you can call me every name under the sun and I can take it but when anyone is a critic on my poetry I start crying
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13-03-2018, 10:17 PM | #23 | |||
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Senior Member
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Wait I voted yeah cos I’m not really arsed but like if someone said something to me I wouldn’t take it i’d Kick off so does that mean I’m not?
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14-03-2018, 12:16 AM | #24 | |||
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ZakJam <3~
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Honestly a stranger could tell me I have a bit of coffee on my nose and I'll be sad about it for a year.
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14-03-2018, 03:45 AM | #25 | |||
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Senior Member
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Sometimes. I am quite strong I think but I also think we all have our paranoid or insecure moments.
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In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. Terry Pratchett “I am thrilled to be alive at time when humanity is pushing against the limits of understanding. Even better, we may eventually discover that there are no limits.” ― Richard Dawkins |
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