[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

I would think just about all parents would want their kids straight just because most folks are and its easier


(and i dont want to hear "i just want them healthy and happy yada yada yada)


that is not to say when they are gay they stop loving them, in fact i would imagine when they do find out most love them even more - i know i would

I love my son because he's my son not because he's straight or gay or whatever

[Northern Monkey]

I honestly think it's just natures way of adapting and keeping the population down.However that's just an opinion.I'm no biologist.

[Daniel.]

I'm another who until a couple of years ago would have jumped at the chance of being able to turn straight...

[Will.]

I think so yes, I knew from about 9 I fancied Boys and girls.

I'm more attractive to boys physically but I develop a better relationship/love for a girl more if that makes sense, I feel more likely to have a long term relationship with a woman.

I wouldn't say I'm a typical bi/gay guy, I dress a little quirky and different but I don't have the other so called 'gay features'.

I went to an all boys school which I don't think helped with my sexuality.

I wouldn't want to be straight, I love being bisexual, I'm happy with who I am if I'm being really honest.

I think you are born gay/bi/lesbian/asexual/pansexual etc.

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by Kyle

Well ok then can you tell us how you have come to the conclusion yourself that you believe people can change their sexuality?

I'm not looking for an argument btw I am genuinely intrigued that is all.

I don't think it's about people "changing" their sexuality at all. I mean, let's say me for example, I have liked boys all my life so I consider myself straight. But what if I see a girl and I like the look of her? I've never shown interest towards girls in the past. So have I been straight up until this point?

Then again, I suppose it's like saying we're asexual until we first fall in love with someone. We're not actually asexual, it's just an empty jar yet to be filled.

[Jack_]

For the most part humans are born as blank slates and every inch of our personalities and mannerisms are learned, socialised behaviour. This includes sexuality, and gender.

That is not to say that you ~choose~ your sexuality, or that it can be changed, this is a common misconception people seem to have with the nurture argument. I don't believe that you are born gay (or straight or otherwise for that matter, sexuality is a spectrum that individuals fall upon somewhere in the early developmental stages of their life), but that doesn't mean I think that people choose to be gay (because like people have already said, you just wouldn't) or that you can change your sexuality, because you can't.

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

I'm not a scientist or gay so i really would'nt like to say.

No no, I think there's a place for anyone in this conversatiOn.

If we are to put forward the proposition that a person can change their sexuality then anyone 'theoretically' could be involved.

Again like I said earlier, in no way can I change my sexuality to anything other than heterosexual so I would be inclined to assume that at the very least I'm not capable of changing it and as so many people have said on here neither can anyone else as we know it.

[Northern Monkey]

Originally Posted by Kyle

No no, I think there's a place for anyone in this conversatiOn.

If we are to put forward the proposition that a person can change their sexuality then anyone 'theoretically' could be involved.

Again like I said earlier, in no way can I change my sexuality to anything other than heterosexual so I would be inclined to assume that at the very least I'm not capable of changing it and as so many people have said on here neither can anyone else as we know it.

Well yeah.I could'nt choose to be gay i suppose.However i have no understanding of what it feels like to be gay so i can't really speak on wether gay people were born that way or if it happened during puberty or whatever.

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Ashley.

I don't think it's about people "changing" their sexuality at all. I mean, let's say me for example, I have liked boys all my life so I consider myself straight. But what if I see a girl and I like the look of her? I've never shown interest towards girls in the past. So have I been straight up until this point?

Then again, I suppose it's like saying we're asexual until we first fall in love with someone. We're not actually asexual, it's just an empty jar yet to be filled.

But would you be interested in that girl in a sexual way or by the fact that you are possibly temporarily allured to her charm/personality or the way she carries herself?

You mentioned to me the other day that you are around your early 20's so I would have hoped by now you would have noticed an attraction to females in general if you were by now but I don't know. Have you ever thought that you could be capable of being sexually attracted to a girl? What do you think of female sexual organs in general?

[Dominic]

I don't really know much about being gay in general, being a straight woman, but having a friend who always liked girls and only started being attracted to guys in high school after dating a girl makes me think some are born being gay, some aren't.

[Vanessa]

I think so, because it's not a choice for sure. It's something out of your control.

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Ashley.

I don't think it's about people "changing" their sexuality at all. I mean, let's say me for example, I have liked boys all my life so I consider myself straight. But what if I see a girl and I like the look of her? I've never shown interest towards girls in the past. So have I been straight up until this point?

Then again, I suppose it's like saying we're asexual until we first fall in love with someone. We're not actually asexual, it's just an empty jar yet to be filled.

What you're demonstrating is the fluidity of the sexuality spectrum. Nobody is 100% heterosexual or 100% homosexual, for that to be the case you would have to be repulsed at the sight of anyone of the same/opposite sex, and anyone that genuinely argues that is a liar, and most likely uncomfortable with their sexuality.

Everybody can appreciate people they think are attractive regardless of their sexuality. For instance, when straight women compliment each other saying 'you look beautiful' or 'she's gorgeous' or when straight men can acknowledge 'he's a good looking guy', 'he's handsome' etc...to see beauty like this there has be an element of attraction. It's not sexual attraction, but that's not primarily what sexuality is about. It encompasses many things.

As for your point about falling in love with someone outside of your sexuality, I would argue that's entirely possible for just about anybody, and the reason for it is what I've outlined above. Would that make you sexually attracted to them? Probably not, but again - that's not just what sexuality is about.

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by Kyle

But would you be interested in that girl in a sexual way or by the fact that you are possibly temporarily allured to her charm/personality or the way she carries herself?

You mentioned to me the other day that you are around your early 20's so I would have hoped by now you would have noticed an attraction to females in general if you were by now but I don't know have you ever thought that you could be capable of being sexually attracted to a girl? What do you think of female sexual organs in general?

Yes, I was alluding to sexual attraction. I've always considered myself as straight because I've only liked men and not women, but I've never ruled out the possibility of being with a woman because it's not something that I've experienced and outrightly said I didn't like.a

Don't worry, I know the difference between a supermodel and an ugly if that's what you're saying.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Kyle

But would you be interested in that girl in a sexual way or by the fact that you are possibly temporarily allured to her charm/personality or the way she carries herself?

You mentioned to me the other day that you are around your early 20's so I would have hoped by now you would have noticed an attraction to females in general if you were by now but I don't know. Have you ever thought that you could be capable of being sexually attracted to a girl? What do you think of female sexual organs in general?

Yeah, I get what you're saying, I can think plenty of girls are attractive but the whole "mechanics" of sex with another girl kind of repulses me a bit

[Will.]

The best way to look at is,

ask yourself did you choose to be straight?

[LemonJam]

Originally Posted by Brenda.

I don't really know much about being gay in general, being a straight woman, but having a friend who always liked girls and only started being attracted to guys in high school after dating a girl makes me think some are born being gay, some aren't.

oh he's probably gay but was repressing it like many coming of age gay people unfortunately. I've actually slept with more girls than guys and had a girlfriend for 4 years before I came out oops.

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Ashley.

Yes, I was alluding to sexual attraction. I've always considered myself as straight because I've only liked men and not women, but I've never ruled out the possibility of being with a woman because it's not something that I've experienced and outrightly said I didn't like.a

Don't worry, I know the difference between a supermodel and an ugly if that's what you're saying.

Well ultimately you are the master of your own desire. If you find yourself in a situation where you want to be in a relationship wit another woman for all the right reasons then have it by all means.

Personally I would have thought you would already know by now in some capacity whether you are sexually attracted to women or not or whether you would just be smitten by them but I'm not you. So long as you are true to yourself and you don't try to force something that you aren't that's all that matters.

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

dominant mother and no father figure?

i dont think you are born with it as such but it cant be just how you are raised and by who due to the numbers and the fact that it was the same 1000 years ago etc

its just a thing that you have 100 babies 5 will end up being a a gay and ending up on Tibb

[Jessica.]

I don't think anyone could choose their sexuality. I am not a lesbian, I have a boyfriend etc.. but I am not a "normal" straight person either. I think my life would have been much easier/less confusing if my sexuality worked like everyone else my age. So, I kind of agree with Jack in a way, there is always fluidity, sexuality is just constructed, people are starting to invent names for all of the extra types now, according to tumblr I would be demisexual. But I think it's not that important to label anyone. There isn't just "straight" and then everything else, there are different types of "straight" too. I think I am just rambling at this stage. Basically I think people would love to choose if they could but we can't so discussions like this are kind of pointless, I'm sure the majority of people know that you can't choose.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Jessica.

I don't think anyone could choose their sexuality. I am not a lesbian, I have a boyfriend etc.. but I am not a "normal" straight person either. I think my life would have been much easier/less confusing if my sexuality worked like everyone else my age. So, I kind of agree with Jack in a way, there is always fluidity, sexuality is just constructed, people are starting to invent names for all of the extra types now, according to tumblr I would be demisexual. But I think it's not that important to label anyone. There isn't just "straight" and then everything else, there are different types of "straight" too. I think I am just rambling at this stage. Basically I think people would love to choose if they could but we can't so discussions like this are kind of pointless, I'm sure the majority of people know that you can't choose.

had to google Demisexual just sounds like you put a deeper value on sex though from reading the definition

[LukeB]

I do think you're born being gay/lesbian but you don't realise it until later on in life.. also i'm glad you changed the title because it's not an illness/disease. I'm bisexual and im happy being that way.. because being gay isn't bad at all..

[Jessica.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

had to google Demisexual just sounds like you put a deeper value on sex though from reading the definition

Well I don't find people "hot", I don't get an instant attraction to someone just by looking at them, I've never had a "crush" on someone. I can appreciate when someone looks good but don't feel anything, it does nothing to me. It seems that when other people look at someone they find appealing they feel kind of attraction etc.. and that has never happened to me. It's very hard to explain, I have only started discovering this about myself recently.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Jessica.

Well I don't find people "hot", I don't get an instant attraction to someone just by looking at them, I've never had a "crush" on someone. I can appreciate when someone looks good but don't feel anything, it does nothing to me. It seems that when other people look at someone they find appealing they feel kind of attraction etc.. and that has never happened to me. It's very hard to explain, I have only started discovering this about myself recently.

I bet all that is pretty good news for your boyfriend

[LeatherTrumpet]

mind you women are enough to turn a man to be a gay

the state of them and all the bloody problems they create

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Nobody chooses their sexuality. You're born gay, straight or somewhere in between and nothing can impact or change that.

People coming out later in life will not have chosen to be bi/gay, they would have just repressed that side of themselves.

This really, says it all for me.