The winner of TiBB Eurovision 2017 is MB!

[Shaun]

http://i.imgur.com/bnZeCde.png

WINNER: Monaco - MB. - "Banned" by Dezzy Rascal (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327447&postcount=214) - 258pts (115 from judges, 143 from public)
2nd: Spain - Jake. - "Sweep Sweep" by Daley Perry (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327766&postcount=325) - 246pts (103 from judges, 143 from public)
3rd: Estonia - Shaun - "Str8 Problems" by Carl Rae Jebend (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327931&postcount=382) - 172pts (111 from judges, 132 from public)
4th: Croatia - Jamie89 - "F U Democrats" by Donald Trump (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327416&postcount=206) - 172pts (78 from judges, 94 from public)
5th: Denmark - Josiah - "Ego" by Josiah Stuart (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327643&postcount=285) - 166pts (81 from judges, 85 from public)
6th: Montenegro - Riley. - "Can't Fight the Mods" by Selena Vyle (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327972&postcount=399) - 163pts (90 from judges, 73 from public)
7th: Ireland - Niamh - "It's Better in America" by The Ghosts of TiBB Past (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327583&postcount=271) - 162pts (87 from judges, 75 from public)
8th: Cyprus - Ronald. - "Woo Her Tonight (The Ballad of Ron and Margaret)" by Ron and Margaret (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327731&postcount=308) - 153pts (94 from judges, 59 from public)
9th: Sweden - T* - "Obsessed" by Charlie's Angels (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327806&postcount=347) - 148pts (84 from judges, 64 from public)
10th: Lithuania - Babayaro. - "Anteater" by Funky Funky (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327484&postcount=232) - 139pts (66 from judges, 73 from public)
----------------------------------
11th: Austria - Jarrod - "Free From My Debt" by Spends (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327868&postcount=358) - 136pts (87 from judges, 49 from public)
12th: Azerbaijan - Dezzy - "Douze Points" by Coalitious (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327522&postcount=250) - 117pts (63 from judges, 54 from public)
13th: France - Drew. - "Brothels in Marseille" by AW/FC (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9328071&postcount=446) - 111pts (53 from judges, 58 from public)
14th: Australia - SuperV - "Watching You Sleep" by Isiah Firerape (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9328050&postcount=437) - 66pts (45 from judges, 21 from public)
15th: Malta - Mystic Mock - "The Rock Song" by Psycho-Pass (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9328008&postcount=415) - 58pts (30 from judges, 28 from public)
16th: Romania - Nicky91 - "The TiBB Mods" by Mihai Traistariu (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327899&postcount=369) - 56pts (24 from judges, 32 from public)
17th: Moldova - Adam. - "I am the Loser" by MD Unitied (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9327707&postcount=298) - 48pts (13 from judges, 35 from public)

[Jøsh]

Monaco slays :clap1:

[Withano]

:clap1: I gave MB my 10. Wd, Jake and everyone else

[Jamie89]

Excellent :clap1: both great entries though. Well done everyone :clap1:

[Shaun]

A cheeky encore...

For Monaco's biggest and boldest entry into the TiBB Eurovision Song Contest yet, producers planned to bring one of the greatest musical icons of our time out of retirement to represent them. Unfortunately, Samantha Mumba was unavailable, so they decided to pursue their second choice: a legendary singer and performer. But news is slow to reach Monaco, and it wasn't until late in the planning process that they were informed that Michael Jackson in fact died eight years ago. Thus, they had no choice but to call their only remaining hope...

http://i.imgur.com/TOJ7q16.png
[yes, that is actually the character from his avatar. I think]

Dezzy Rascal – "Banned"

To the tune of:
dsUXAEzaC3Q

[Dezzy makes his entrance by emerging from copious amounts of smoke. His hair somehow catches on fire during the process, prompting a crew member to climb on stage and extinguish the blaze. How very topical!]

the truth: [commenting from the side of the stage] did you know that men invented fire

[The music kicks in and Dezzy shows off some of his MJ dance moves, before quickly getting out of breath and taking a puff on his inhaler. Afterwards, he turns to a dartboard with a picture of the much-missed LeatherTrumpet’s face on it, the bullseye of which has been accurately hit each and every time. How odd.]

Your trumpet’s mine
You Scottish blight
Your leather spine
Didn’t last a night
[Dezzy then turns to a terrified crowd of Serious Debates & News regulars, probably wishing they had a safe space right about now]

I’m warning you
You shouldn’t bait
Or else you’ll meet
A similar fate
Shamone
[Shabnam from Big Brother 8 takes to the stage at this point, showing off the dance moves that she’s spent the best part of a decade rehearsing]

I’m giving you
A chance to see
Why you don’t mess
With a mod like me
[Dezzy wags his finger like the sexy headmistress he is at heart]

I’m telling you
I’ve sussed you out
I won’t listen
So
[Natasha Hamilton is wheeled on] YEH DON’T HAVE TEH SHOUT [Natasha Hamilton is wheeled off]

If I see another **** thread
About Madeleine McCann
Or a racist post on Brexit
Then I’ll slap you with a ban

Because you’re banned, you’re banned (really, really banned)
You know you’re banned, you’re banned
You know it (really bloody banned)
You know you’re banned, you’re banned
You’ve blown it (yes you’re really banned)
If you make a multi right about now
I’mma tell you once again
You’re banned
[Dezzy pulls a list of naughty TiBB members out of his G-string, like the sexy mall Santa he is at heart]

Let’s start with Alf
Who thinks he’s smart
Nothing rhymes with Alf
So let’s skip this part
Then Brillopad
Trying to impress
But I just blocked
His IP address
Remember that
Johnny paid the price
Since I’m the cat
And you’re the mice
[Dezzy licks the back of his hand and purrs a la George Galloway]

Now you see you're all pawns
In my bigger master plan
Just behave while I'm gone
'cause I’m off to Camber Sands
[Dezzy briefly pauses the song as his Uber driver mounts the stage, complaining that he’s been waiting outside for half an hour and he's running the meter up. After a brief dispute, they reach an agreement, Dezzy puts his suitcase in the boot and the car reverses off the stage, killing Shabnam in the process]

In the meantime, you’re banned, you’re banned (really, really banned)
So don’t take a stand, a stand
No, really (you’re actually banned)
While I’m off getting tanned, oh tanned
No, slightly (he gets more pink than tanned)
If you get your mum to send a shirty
e-mail to Josy then
You’re banned
[Dance break, by which I mean Dezzy breaks two hips and Natasha Hamilton's nose]

Now you quiver at my hammer
I see the fear that’s in your face
You can head to the TiBB slammer
Or I’ll ban you off to space

[Musical interlude, aka time to meet some common scum. First of all, Dezzy comes across a Victorian street urchin, played by Melissa McCarthy, stealing bread. "Please, sir, I am but an ‘umble Victorian street urchin, please do not ban me!" the Victorian street urchin pleads. "Banned!" bellows an uncaring Dezzy.]

[Dezzy then comes across a hot sexy woman, played by legendary thespian Sir Ben Kingsley, propositioning him with sex, which is now illegal for some reason. "Hello Dezzy I am hot sexy woman would you like to do the sex with me," the hot sexy woman growls. Dezzy does not give into his innermost desires and instead replies with a cold, hard "banned!"]

[Dezzy comes across Valentina. "This is a lip sync, we need to see your lips," Dezzy says, sternly but also very sexily. "I'd like to keep it on, please," Valentina whimpers, aware of the weight of Dezzy's bulging ban hammer. "Well then," Dezzy concludes. "I'm sorry my dear, but you're banned!"]

[Dezzy comes across Jermaine, Tito and LaToya Jackson, none of whom are supposed to be part of the performance. Security rush to the stage to remove them. "Actually, we find this all highly insulting to our brother’s legacy and would prefer it if you stopped immed-" the Jacksons begin, before being cut off by two words: "you're banned!"]

That’s right, you’re banned, you’re banned (really ****ing banned)
Yes you’re still banned, you’re banned
Don’t moan bitch (how is this not clear already)
If you do I’ll extend your ban, your ban
To three months (four months if you’re bad)
I’ll ban the whole damn world anyhow
Bugger, here’s my Uber again
[the truth, having left whilst Dezzy was busy with all his ethnic movement, returns to the stage, now carrying a placard that reads “Wonder Woman? More like Liberal Cuck Safe Space Feminazi Man-Hating New Labour Snowflake Woman!” – having had to write very small to fit it all on]

Dezzy: Look, mate, I appreciate the craftsmanship, but I’ve got a song to finish here. Now, where was I?
the truth: it’s all killary’s fault
Dezzy: Oh yes, that’s right.

You’re banned!

[Jøsh]

I'd like to announce the British jury votes. Well, I say me, someone else wants to..

https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/640/media/images/74772000/jpg/_74772446_74772445.jpg

Ah, hello. I've been expecting you.
It's time to guess the Briti- I mean tell you the British jury votes.

1 point: Monaco
2 points: Malta
3 points: Lithuania
4 points: Austria
5 points: Romania
6 points: Spain
7 points: Sweden
8 points: Denmark
10 points: Azerbaijan

and our 12 points go to....

our nearest neighbour, Ireland!

Good night, Gdansk!

[Josiah.]

Congrats MB! Well Done, and you totally deserve 1st.

[MB.]

Erm... wow. I had a very humble speech prepared for when I came tenth, so this is a little bizarre. But thanks everyone. :love: :love: I'll make sure to give Dezzy his fair share of the prize money, so I hope he enjoys his 10p while it lasts

I also had a 'yaaaas' gif prepared for when Jake won, and I'm sure he would have done had he not also won last year, since that's the only reason I can think of that I somehow managed to beat him. But King Dale would be proud <3

[Ronald.]

Well done MB! Well done to everyone who took part!

Thrilled to have finished 4th with the judges vote!

R.

[MB.]

This has, as ever, been loads of fun to take part in so cheers to Shaun for running it so smoothly, and cheers to all you lot for being insane enough to write songs about stalking, crippling debt and Supermarket Sweep <3

Monaco slays :clap1:

:clap1: I gave MB my 10. Wd, Jake and everyone else

Excellent :clap1: both great entries though. Well done everyone :clap1:

Congrats MB! Well Done, and you totally deserve 1st.

Well done MB! Well done to everyone who took part!

Thrilled to have finished 4th with the judges vote!

R.

Oh, stop it, you're too kind... (<3)

Can I have a 'thank you darling' as well please MB

https://68.media.tumblr.com/462d11cdbe22cc0893cf9ae662c98909/tumblr_nszp0ahxqd1r9qdkno1_500.gif

[T*]

Amazing work, MB :love:
Amazing top 2!

[Shaun]

It'll be a very 'Monte Carlo Christmas' for TiBB Xmasvision 2017, but for now goodnight.

Thank you to Josiah, as always, for a lovely set of country icons, opening titles, and logo. To all other 16 people who submitted a song entry and made it a rather lovely event, all things considered, to the 9 judges and the 20 others who voted via PM.

Some little statistics for those who like such things:

- At various stages, the winners were Romania, Denmark, Spain, Estonia, Croatia and finally Monaco.

The following countries received "douze points" votes (I won't say who from):
Spain - 5
Denmark, Lithuania, Monaco - 3
Croatia, Montenegro - 2
Estonia, Moldova - 1*

If you're curious as to how many "different voters" each song received, be curious no longer:
Croatia - 13
Lithuania - 11
Monaco - 18
Sweden - 14
Estonia - 18
France - 10
Spain - 17
Austria - 10
Denmark - 15
Malta - 6
Montenegro - 11
Azerbaijan - 12
Ireland - 16
Romania - 6
Cyprus - 13
Moldova - 5
Australia - 5

And finally, this marks the first time out of 283 attempts that a song about Dezzy has won.

*not counting judges' votes.

[Josiah.]

MB, I like that AbFab gif.

[Morgan.]

Well done MB, you had my top points :love:

[Lostie!]

Congratulations MB :clap1: And well done everyone, there were so many brilliant entries once again.

[Jamie89]

https://68.media.tumblr.com/462d11cdbe22cc0893cf9ae662c98909/tumblr_nszp0ahxqd1r9qdkno1_500.gif

http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrppmxThRV1qfxzzgo1_500.gif

[Marsh.]

Omg well done MB. :clap1:

Flawless entry.

[MB.]

Amazing work, MB :love:
Amazing top 2!

Well done MB, you had my top points :love:

Congratulations MB :clap1: And well done everyone, there were so many brilliant entries once again.

Ta! :love: (god, this smilie's getting a workout tonight, isn't it)

MB, I like that AbFab gif.

It's an Ab Fab gif, of course you like it :clap1:

[MB.]

Omg well done MB. :clap1:

Flawless entry.

Thanks I guess tbh imo

(I must have subliminally convinced people to vote for me with my avi, which means yay, propaganda works!)

[Jøsh]

I'd like to announce the British jury votes. Well, I say me, someone else wants to..

https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/640/media/images/74772000/jpg/_74772446_74772445.jpg

Ah, hello. I've been expecting you.
It's time to guess the Briti- I mean tell you the British jury votes.

1 point: Monaco
2 points: Malta
3 points: Lithuania
4 points: Austria
5 points: Romania
6 points: Spain
7 points: Sweden
8 points: Denmark
10 points: Azerbaijan

and our 12 points go to....

our nearest neighbour, Ireland!

Good night, Gdansk!


Bump

[Wizard.]

Congrats to the top 2! Monaco here we come ladies!

[Jake.]

MB :love: Massive congrats, deserved

Thanks so much for all the votes and to Shaun for hosting

[Shaun]

Congrats to the top 2

I'll just cry in a corner then :(

[MB.]

Thanks for the point Josh <3 And thanks to Riley, and Jake, aka the -insert name of any RTV runner-up who really should have won here- of TiBB Eurovision 2017

Fun fact: Monaco has a smaller population than Ramsgate, so I wouldn't hold my breath for a particularly huge turnout in the arena/theatre/marquee in a field come Christmasvision

[Jøsh]

Here for Monte Carlo 2017 :clap1:

[Wizard.]

I'll just cry in a corner then :(

Girl I gave you my 10 points I stan Jebend

[Niamh.]

oh well done MB, you got my top vote :hee:

[MB.]

Thanks Niamh :love:

[Nicky91]

I'm so upset :bawling: :bawling: :bawling:


people you had one job, vote for me :mad:



16th place, ugh it feels like a last place for me :rolleyes:

[Shaun]

Mm anyway thanks all for playing :love:

[Drew.]

Well done MB and thanks for doing a good job hosting it all again Shaun

[Nicky91]

okay sorry for my rant, congrats MB


and i am proud for having done this game with lots of lovely people :)

[Mitchell]

:



16th place, ugh it feels like a last place for me :rolleyes:

You'd be last place if Adam wasn't so **** at life, so at least there's that

[Babayaro.]

Marc :love:

Omg I thought Anteater would win! Well done Marc :love:

Omg marc! I thought you'd be top 5

Well done nevertheless :love:

:shocked: lmao maybe I'm just very easily impressed but Anteater was my #1 </3

Anyway, well done to everyone so far, you all did beautifully and it was bloody hard to rank. And yes, thanks for keeping me in up to this point :love:

Marc YOU WOZ ROBBED M8 :(

:love:

I'm chuffed at finishing in the top 10 tbh. Well done MB!

[Nicky91]

Marc i am happy for you mate :hee:

[Tom4784]

Thanks to Shaun for running this and thank you for the votes.

Well done to MB for finally doing me justice with a song that truly gets me :clap1:

[Josiah.]

My interview on TiBB Radio One's TiBB Social Hub (nicknamed 'The Hub'):
https://soundcloud.com/josiahstuart/tibb-social-hub-josiahs-interview

There is a lot of stuff about my self-titled debut album, and about upcoming TiBB Christmasvision stuff (which is no longer exclusive to Shaun, myself, and the wikia).

Note: In the editing, an answer I made to one of Jenna's questions ended up missing.

[y.winter]

Ooooh I totally missed it while I was on holiday. Xmasvision was fun, so I'll catch up later.
Well done to all of you :clap1:

[Nicky91]

aw thanks winter :hug:

[Babayaro.]

Anteater by Funky Funky


http://i.imgur.com/K6g20Kv.jpg


The video begins with Babayaro, Marsh and the anteater playing Bop It on the living room floor.

It is night time.

Babayaro and Marsh are dressed as American jocks for some reason. The anteater looks normal for its kind.

[Record scratch]
[Freeze frame]

Babayaro: yup that’s me, you’re probably wondering why Marsh is in my home…

*20 minutes earlier*

Marsh and Babayaro are doing jelly shots in the kitchen


Marsh: that’s some dank jelly bro
Babayaro: you can say that aga-
Marsh: holy **** is that an anteater?!
Babayaro: it’s probably a dog
Marsh: it’s so god damn big!
Babayaro: this situation is not likely. I mean, anteaters can be found in Central America and we live in Europe. They cannot even see in the dark
Marsh: it has a snout and a long tongue
Babayaro: ****


zzJoWR1Vu80


He’ll only come out at night
The mean and hungry shite
Disgusting, ew! I’ve seen him here before
Frothing and masturbating
Ooh, he’s ******** on you and ties you against the door
So many persuade the beast
With a wink you’re away for free
The demon is riled, a she-cat tamed by the purr of a jaguar
What does it matter
If you get rid of
You ain’t gonna get too far

(Oh here he comes)
Watch your toys he’ll sook them up
(Oh here he comes)
He’s an anteater

I wouldn’t if I were you
I know what he can do
He’s a friendly man, but he could unzip your curled ma-aan part
Might not even matter
Guard duty is here and the beast is in the hall

(Oh here he comes)
Watch your toys he’ll sook them up
(Oh here he comes)
He’s an anteater
(Oh here he comes)
Watch your toys he’ll sook them up
(Oh here he comes)
He’s an anteater

Nooooo,
Oh here he comes
Watch your toys he’ll sook them up
Woah here comes
(Watch out)
He’s an anteater
Oh here he comes
(He’s an anteater)
Ooh, he’ll sook them up
(Ooh here he comes)
Here he comes, he’s an anteater
(Oh here he comes)
(Watch out)
He only comes out to fight, ooh
(Oh here he comes)
Here he comes
He’s an anteater
(Oh here he comes)
(He’s an anteater)
The demon is riled, ooh
(Oh here he comes)
Here he comes
Watch your toys, watch your toys
(Oh here he comes)
Oh, watch them, watch them, watch them, watch them
(Oh here he comes)
Yeah yeah he’s an anteater
(Oh here he comes)
(He’s an anteater)
He’s frothing and masturbating

Ahhhhh :flutter:

[MB.]

Ahhhhh :flutter:

Robbed!

[Babayaro.]

Robbed!

:clap1:

[Denver]

You'd be last place if Adam wasn't so **** at life, so at least there's that

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