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poppsywoppsy
08-10-2018, 06:56 PM
[QUOTE=Vicky.;10273772]Please don't call me oppressive for pointing out that I think hes just being a prat in this instance then :shrug:[/QUOTE

As you were putting him down on so many counts, oppressive was the correct term.

Vicky.
08-10-2018, 07:01 PM
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As you were putting him down on so many counts, oppressive was the correct term.

I was pointing out that the excuses are quite silly. Like, he was NOT sat 'on his own', he was in a room full of people.

Are people being oppressive about Tomasz to point out that hes a gameplayer? Or oppressive about any of the other housemates for pointing out their flaws (and rebutting arguments from their fans)?

poppsywoppsy
08-10-2018, 07:07 PM
I was pointing out that the excuses are quite silly. Like, he was NOT sat 'on his own', he was in a room full of people.

Are people being oppressive about Tomasz to point out that hes a gameplayer? Or oppressive about any of the other housemates for pointing out their flaws (and rebutting arguments from their fans)?

They might well be if they comment, conjecture and will only believe what BB feeds them about his actions, over and over again.

Toy Soldier
08-10-2018, 07:09 PM
Ah so basically anxiety is just going to be used to excuse all Lewis' strops. Got it :laugh:

And I suffer panic attacks myself, as I said earlier in the thread, and have done for years now.

"All" of his behaviours? No... I don't tend to favour housemates at all and just try to assess all of them fairly :shrug:. For example, I also defended Lewis G plenty, and I can also appreciate where Kay was at emotionally and fully accept that Lewis F was self-centred and inconsiderate in his approach with her. In fact he treated her quite badly and selfishly and should know better given his own struggles. I also found his comments about Cameron to Isabella in the bath in last night's episodes to be patronising and self-serving, and probably hurtful to Cameron if he had heard them. I'm not "stanning" anyone.

However in this case it was fairly evident to me that he was experiencing anxiety, or rather, stressing because he was anticipating anxiety and that was what set him off.

Panic attacks and generalized anxiety are not the same thing... the fact that he wasn't experiencing a panic attack is in no way "proof" that he wasn't experiencing anxiety.

And no it's not the case that mental health struggles "excuse anything and everything" but really, when it comes down to it, his actions weren't intended to harm anyone and in fact did not harm anyone (they didn't even fail the task; and plenty of others incurred fails too).

I guess I sort of see it this way... maybe it was a fake out, maybe not. If it WAS a fake out, then a bit of compassion doesn't cost anyone a thing and mocking / sneering doesn't benefit anyone. If it WASN'T a fake out... a bit of compassion can do a lot to help, and mocking / sneering can end up causing untold damage.

I'm mainly talking about other HM's here of course (Sian), rather than on the forum, as obviously he's unlikely to see or hear the comments made here. When it comes to the forum, it's more that I just find the lack of empathy to be pretty distasteful / not a character trait to be proud of :shrug:.

Actually, no, that's not even true. It is damaging even if it's just online. Because it confirms what people who suffer from this sort of anxiety already know all to well; that there's a widespread opinion that it's exaggerated, or put on, or not that serious, and is open to scepticism and ridicule.

poppsywoppsy
08-10-2018, 07:11 PM
I was pointing out that the excuses are quite silly. Like, he was NOT sat 'on his own', he was in a room full of people.

Are people being oppressive about Tomasz to point out that hes a gameplayer? Or oppressive about any of the other housemates for pointing out their flaws (and rebutting arguments from their fans)?

Don't you think it is immaterial what we think, second hand, not involved and not there, shouldn't it be how Lewis saw it?

poppsywoppsy
08-10-2018, 07:13 PM
"All" of his behaviours? No... I don't tend to favour housemates at all and just try to assess all of them fairly :shrug:. For example, I also defended Lewis G plenty, and I can also appreciate where Kay was at emotionally and fully accept that Lewis F was self-centred and inconsiderate in his approach with her. In fact he treated her quite badly and selfishly and should know better given his own struggles. I also found his comments about Cameron to Isabella in the bath in last night's episodes to be patronising and self-serving, and probably hurtful to Cameron if he had heard them. I'm not "stanning" anyone.

However in this case it was fairly evident to me that he was experiencing anxiety, or rather, stressing because he was anticipating anxiety and that was what set him off.

Panic attacks and generalized anxiety are not the same thing... the fact that he wasn't experiencing a panic attack is in no way "proof" that he wasn't experiencing anxiety.

And no it's not the case that mental health struggles "excuse anything and everything" but really, when it comes down to it, his actions weren't intended to harm anyone and in fact did not harm anyone (they didn't even fail the task; and plenty of others incurred fails too).

I guess I sort of see it this way... maybe it was a fake out, maybe not. If it WAS a fake out, then a bit of compassion doesn't cost anyone a thing and mocking / sneering doesn't benefit anyone. If it WASN'T a fake out... a bit of compassion can do a lot to help, and mocking / sneering can end up causing untold damage.

I'm mainly talking about other HM's here of course (Sian), rather than on the forum, as obviously he's unlikely to see or hear the comments made here. When it comes to the forum, it's more that I just find the lack of empathy to be pretty distasteful / not a character trait to be proud of :shrug:.

Actually, no, that's not even true. It is damaging even if it's just online. Because it confirms what people who suffer from this sort of anxiety already know all to well; that there's a widespread opinion that it's exaggerated, or put on, or not that serious, and is open to scepticism and ridicule.

Thank you:hee:

Vicky.
08-10-2018, 07:19 PM
They might well be if they comment, conjecture and will only believe what BB feeds them about his actions, over and over again.
Again, we can only comment on what we see, not what might have happened in the other 23 hours of the day.
Don't you think it is immaterial what we think, second hand, not involved and not there, shouldn't it be how Lewis saw it?
Well of course its immaterial what we think...the housemates are not told our opinions anyway. So, not sure why its so offensive that I think that on this occasion, he was simply stropping :laugh:

"All" of his behaviours? No... I don't tend to favour housemates at all and just try to assess all of them fairly :shrug:. For example, I also defended Lewis G plenty, and I can also appreciate where Kay was at emotionally and fully accept that Lewis F was self-centred and inconsiderate in his approach with her. In fact he treated her quite badly and selfishly and should know better given his own struggles. I also found his comments about Cameron to Isabella in the bath in last night's episodes to be patronising and self-serving, and probably hurtful to Cameron if he had heard them. I'm not "stanning" anyone.

However in this case it was fairly evident to me that he was experiencing anxiety, or rather, stressing because he was anticipating anxiety and that was what set him off.

Panic attacks and generalized anxiety are not the same thing... the fact that he wasn't experiencing a panic attack is in no way "proof" that he wasn't experiencing anxiety.

And no it's not the case that mental health struggles "excuse anything and everything" but really, when it comes down to it, his actions weren't intended to harm anyone and in fact did not harm anyone (they didn't even fail the task; and plenty of others incurred fails too).

I guess I sort of see it this way... maybe it was a fake out, maybe not. If it WAS a fake out, then a bit of compassion doesn't cost anyone a thing and mocking / sneering doesn't benefit anyone. If it WASN'T a fake out... a bit of compassion can do a lot to help, and mocking / sneering can end up causing untold damage.

I'm mainly talking about other HM's here of course (Sian), rather than on the forum, as obviously he's unlikely to see or hear the comments made here. When it comes to the forum, it's more that I just find the lack of empathy to be pretty distasteful / not a character trait to be proud of :shrug:.

Actually, no, that's not even true. It is damaging even if it's just online. Because it confirms what people who suffer from this sort of anxiety already know all to well; that there's a widespread opinion that it's exaggerated, or put on, or not that serious, and is open to scepticism and ridicule.
Well you seem to have thought through your opinion quite thoroughly. I respectfully disagree and do think it was just a strop over not getting his way.

And its quite well known I have issues with empathy anyway, so maybe thats part of it..who knows.

I also never said that his actions were intended to harm anyone. No more than Nikkis random strops were meant to harm people. And I am not mocking/sneering either. Just stating my opinion on it.

Dollface
08-10-2018, 07:43 PM
Again, we can only comment on what we see, not what might have happened in the other 23 hours of the day.

Well of course its immaterial what we think...the housemates are not told our opinions anyway. So, not sure why its so offensive that I think that on this occasion, he was simply stropping :laugh:


Well you seem to have thought through your opinion quite thoroughly. I respectfully disagree and do think it was just a strop over not getting his way.

And its quite well known I have issues with empathy anyway, so maybe thats part of it..who knows.

I also never said that his actions were intended to harm anyone. No more than Nikkis random strops were meant to harm people. And I am not mocking/sneering either. Just stating my opinion on it.

That's the thing that pissed me off about Sian, she didn't have an opinion on it, she didn't say anything direct, she just muttered **** under her breath and mocked him like a silly school girl. The "should we all clap" was what really annoyed me, she really came across immature and cold there.

Vicky.
08-10-2018, 07:45 PM
That's the thing that pissed me off about Sian, she didn't have an opinion on it, she didn't say anything direct, she just muttered **** under her breath and mocked him like a silly school girl. The "should we all clap" was what really annoyed me, she really came across immature and cold there.

And this is why shes a crap housemate. I appreciate people causing ****, if they actually cause **** as thats giving us something to watch. But just bitching behind peoples backs, nah. Thats not good to watch, and is also usually pretty pathetic.