[lily.]

.. someone doesn't like you, even though you've given them no reason to dislike you and you're nothing but nice to them?

One of my tutors is like this, and I don't know why it irks me, but it really does..

I feel like it's unjustified, and wouldn't mind if she had a good reason for it, but I just want to stunt up to her and ask her what her effing problem is.. which of course I can't, or that would just validate her dislike for me..

I want to not care, and I don't know if it's because I have to spend time with her a few days a week, or because she's in a position of seniority, but I struggle to not care..

[smudgie]

No.

It is their loss.

[mizzy25]

No Ive never cared if people like me or not, if they don't like me I hve a tendency to not like them. Its a shame its tutor though as you cant avoid them. Maybe they are jealous of you. Try being nice to them they will probably hate this lol

[Ramsay]

Obviously most people will say they don't care but i think deep down everyone wants to be liked
Yeah it annoys me when stuff like that happens and i will try and sort it out but i just lose interest after a while if the person still hates me

[lily.]

Originally Posted by Karl

Obviously most people will say they don't care but i think deep down everyone wants to be liked
Yeah it annoys me when stuff like that happens and i will try and sort it out but i just lose interest after a while if the person still hates me

That's basically it Karl.. I don't care if people dislike me if I don't have to really associate with them, but the fact that I'm forced to be around this person makes me care.

I always hand in my assignments on time.. I'm getting full marks on all my work, and I don't cause any trouble in class, yet she's still nasty to me.

I guess I only have to tolerate her until June, so it's not the end of the world, but I just wonder if there's actually anything I could do about this, cos it seems that it wouldn't matter what I said or did, she'd still feel the same.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by JingleBitch

That's basically it Karl.. I don't care if people dislike me if I don't have to really associate with them, but the fact that I'm forced to be around this person makes me care.

I always hand in my assignments on time.. I'm getting full marks on all my work, and I don't cause any trouble in class, yet she's still nasty to me.

I guess I only have to tolerate her until June, so it's not the end of the world, but I just wonder if there's actually anything I could do about this, cos it seems that it wouldn't matter what I said or did, she'd still feel the same.

Sounds like whatever her problem is with you is out of your control, like maybe you just remind her of someone she doesn't like or something like that?

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Karl

Obviously most people will say they don't care but i think deep down everyone wants to be liked
Yeah it annoys me when stuff like that happens and i will try and sort it out but i just lose interest after a while if the person still hates me

Not necessarily. Whatever situation you are in from day you start school to the day you retire you will meet people who just don't like you, if you have done nothing to justify the dislike it is just a personality thing and their problem and as long as it doesn't impact on your life (like giving bad grades as in Lilys case) then so be it.

[Black Dagger]

Meh, don't hate me because you ain't me

[Niamh.]

Yeah I agree with the OP, it wouldn't really really bother me but I guess if you've not given them any reason to dislike you, never had a run in with them etc etc then it would be, to steal your word irksome

[AnnieK]

I guess you could do one of two things:

Ask her for a quiet word and see if there truly is a problem, she will probably say there isn't but at least she may change her behaviour slightly...
or
Punch her in the face - she will still hate you but at least she'll now have a reason

[Niamh.]

Option 2!! Option 2!!

[smeagol]

ask the b atch . go up scream in her face and ask whats her problem and say do you fancy me or what,. drop your attitude or drop your knickers lol

[King Gizzard]

I don't like not being liked and I don't really see a problem with it

[Livia]

Having worked in politics for a couple of years, I realise I could never have lasted this long if I gave a stuff about what people think. Some people judge you without ever knowing you. That's their problem, ******* them...

Get in to bitch mode Lily. She's not in a position of seniority, she's your tutor. She kind of works for you.

[lily.]

Originally Posted by Livia

Get in to bitch mode Lily. She's not in a position of seniority, she's your tutor. She kind of works for you.

I find it difficult to know where she fits in that respect Livia..

Like, at work, there are clear roles and I know the chain of command, so to speak..

The last time I was in education, I was a teenager, so things were very different, but I class her as senior, because she's the class leader.. Unfortunately, she's also the department leader. I think she might be on a power-trip to be honest. I tried the 'Dean' method of being super-nice, but I'm still getting the snarky comments from her, and everyone else notices it.. I think they're all waiting for me to crack and just effing lose it with her lol..

[Vicky.]

Not in the slightest

[Tom4784]

I don't waste my time caring about people that don't like me, I just refuse to acknowledge their existence. If I can't do that though I'll opt for killing them with kindness, smile a big patronising smile and drive them mad by rubbing the fact that you are the better person in their face by refusing to be affected by anything they do.

[Z]

Yes. My best friend's girlfriend has been nothing but a ******* to me, and I don't like to use that word to describe a person unless I really mean it. When they first started dating I was living abroad so I'd only really met her a handful of times and by the time I was back at uni, they'd been dating for nearly a year - obviously by this point she felt that she had enough control over him to not bother with his friends, because whenever I'm in a room with her she will actively ignore me unless she's forced to engage with me in conversation, where she will always be short and avoid looking at me. At first it really got to me because I'm used to getting to know and getting on with my friends' significant others - they're not always my friends too, but I know that I can have a chat with them at the very least.

They've been going out for over two years now and it's definitely impacted on my friendship with my best friend, we don't see each other as often as we used to and we don't speak unless we see each other - but whether or not he's aware that she has a problem with me I'm not sure. He never mentions her around me and he never brings her anywhere that any of us are going to be - I'm not sure if that's because she just doesn't care to know any of his friends or if he doesn't want us to mix, but it's very frustrating because that's the exact type of relationship I saw my older brother slip into and now he has no friends and he doesn't even have a family anymore, having chosen to distance himself from us.

I just keep hoping they'll split up and that'll be the end of that; but obviously I would never say anything to him because it's absolutely none of my business and it's not my relationship - clearly she makes him happy and that's all that matters. I just find it really, really strange behaviour to not only avoid getting to know your other half's friends, but to actively ignore them when you are in a room with them. She's a bitch, I used to be a bit upset that she was so off with me but now I just think she's a horrible person.

[Livia]

Originally Posted by The baby Zeesus

Yes. My best friend's girlfriend has been nothing but a ******* to me..... etc.

Name and postcode. I'll sort it for you Zee.

[fingers]

Originally Posted by Livia

Name and postcode. I'll sort it for you Zee.

The Gun Moll has spoken! Tutors will tremble!

[Z]

Originally Posted by Livia

Name and postcode. I'll sort it for you Zee.

incomiiiiiiiiiiing

[Kazanne]

No it doesn't bother me at all,I'de rather have a few true friends that I know like me ,than lots of fairweather aquaintances anyway,Ide be suspicious if everyone liked me as I can be such a bitch.Also if everyone liked you and you liked everyone something there is false

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by TinselBalls

No it doesn't bother me at all,I'de rather have a few true friends that I know like me ,than lots of fairweather aquaintances anyway,Ide be suspicious if everyone liked me as I can be such a bitch.Also if everyone liked you and you liked everyone something there is false

My guess is that you would need good reason to be like that with someone Kazanne because I only see you as one of the really nicest of people.
If you felt the need to get nasty towards someone then I would say they certainly would deserve it.

As to the question,I think at times it does bother me whether people like me or not, I have learned I can do little as to the situation if someone doesn't though and so I just accept that.
I do feel I do little to give any real cause for someone not to like me but if I know someone doesn't then I would make it that I avoid them at all times if possible.

[Kazanne]

Originally Posted by joeysteele

My guess is that you would need good reason to be like that with someone Kazanne because I only see you as one of the really nicest of people.
If you felt the need to get nasty towards someone then I would say they certainly would deserve it.

As to the question,I think at times it does bother me whether people like me or not, I have learned I can do little as to the situation if someone doesn't though and so I just accept that.
I do feel I do little to give any real cause for someone not to like me but if I know someone doesn't then I would make it that I avoid them at all times if possible.

Thankyou Joey that is sweet of you and I do try and like most people but some do make it difficult,As long as the people I like,like me ,then I'm good with that.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by TinselBalls

No it doesn't bother me at all,I'de rather have a few true friends that I know like me ,than lots of fairweather aquaintances anyway,Ide be suspicious if everyone liked me as I can be such a bitch.Also if everyone liked you and you liked everyone something there is false

I knew there was a reason I love you..Couldn't have put it better myself!

However as this is a tutor there really shouldn't be anything personal affecting how you interact, have you ever given them cause to have such a negative perception of you lily?