[Stu]

...Being famous can be hell...

...Especially when your averaging a 0.4 rating...

[Patrick]

Theres no star in the eye =/

[Stu]

Originally Posted by Patrick

Theres no star in the eye =/

There's a reason for that, starman. All will be revealed.

[Patrick]

Okay cool

So is this a series your starting or a story or somthing?
It sounds good

[Stu]

Originally Posted by Patrick

Okay cool

So is this a series your starting or a story or somthing?
It sounds good

Sort of a story/series I developed in the last twenty minuets, yeah. I will be making it up as I go along. I was starting something similar a few years ago but I forgot about it. This one, however, has *kind of* a pre planned element.

It will be my take on the final series of Celebrity Big Brother, the network that's trying to destroy it from the inside, and a messianic prophecy. Expect introspective philosophical narrative, thought provoking Reality TV concepts, and a couple of dick jokes.

[LemonJam]

Originally Posted by Stu

...Being famous can be hell...

...Especially when your averaging a 0.4 rating...

hahahaha win.

[Stu]

I shall be starting a series of build up, prequel type stuff shortly. The series proper won't start for another week or two. It will be done more or less in real time so yes, Celebrity Big Brother got bumped down to an early December start on the schedules to make room for Channel 4's fresh, exciting new content in January.

I hope to have at least something up every night. The idea is to bugger the entire show up the bum and see how many viewers it can loose, bankrupting the production company and network in the process.

Because there won't be any Z Lister's on this show. Oh no.

[MrGaryy]

maybe should be in the Creative Writing section? Looking forward to it by the way.

[Stu]

Originally Posted by MrGaryy

maybe should be in the Creative Writing section? Looking forward to it by the way.

We have a creative writing section? Damn! Stu's going blind. Can a mod please move this?

Thanks, BTW.

[Harry!]

Send a U2U to any Mod online to ask if you can change its location.

[30stone]

Sorted

Looks good by the way.

[Stu]

Cheers lads.

[Iceman]

sounds intriguing stu!

[Shaun]

should be an interesting read.

i love how all tibb creative writing lately is horror-related. says a lot about us I guess. we have serial killings from Amanda, kidnap from me, survival of the fittest from Greg, zombies from Dezzy and now...this.

[Beastie]

Leave it in this section!

[Tom4784]

Ah I can't wait, should be a great read!

[Scarlett.]

sounds cool ;3

[Jords]

Sounds like it'll be good

[Stu]

GIRLS ALOUD BABE HARDING FOR CBB FINALE?
by Merry Hackenslash

Well, it's almost that time again for Celebrity Big Brother and the rumor mill has officialy started. Our man on the inside can exclusively reveal that producers Endemol are in talks to bring blonde bombshell Sarah Harding to the show for it's final series this fall.

VAGINA

''Sarah will be perfect for the show'' an insider revealed to our man on the inside. ''She is just the type of character we are looking for and will get viewers back in droves for this historic final series of Britain's best loved celebrity Reality TV event.''

VOMIT

The Girls Aloud star is said to have run into some trouble recently as a string of drunk driving lawsuits piled up. She is said to be showing up on the sets of movies visibly intoxicated. A stint in the Elstree house would no doubt pay off many of her outstanding bills.

BLURGH

When our man on the inside tried to contact Sarah, she denied any involvement with series producers Endemol or failing network Channel 4. However she did ask if our man on the inside could make a quick run to the shop for a packet of Silk Cut, before proclaiming that he was her bestest friend in the whole world.




-Sarah at a recent autograph signing in Santa Barbara.

.

[Stu]

FRIDAY, 27TH NOVEMBER, 2009
CHANNEL 4 HEADQUATERS
SOMEWHERE IN ENGLAND I CAN'T BE BOTHERED GOOGLING
2200 HOURS



? : Are we all satisfied?

Executive : Satisfied with what?

? : Satisfied with the deal!

Executive : Yes, yes.

? : So you will sell your shares?

Executive : Of course.

? : What do you mean of course, is Channel 4 even a public company?

Executive : I'm not sure, but for the sake of the narrative, let's assume it is. Does the pope **** in the woods?

? : What?

Executive : Nothing.

? : And the creative control?

Executive : All yours, of course.

? : Then you may have your money. Me? I'm driven by more things than money.

Executive : Such as?

? : Down on your knees.

Executive : Now? Here?

? : I don't see the complications that you do, obviously. I called a meeting between the network executive and my humble self for no apparent reason on a weekend night at ten.

Executive : I see. Well, let me use the bathroom first.

? : As you wish. Just one more thing...

Executive : Yes?

? : From now on, you are my minion, and so are your co-workers.

Minion : Understood. Just hand me the money.

? : Come here, you tiger. Channel Four is mine now.

Minion : Just before we start, uh...

? : ...first time?

Minion : Not at all!

? : Not at all?

Minion : No, it's just, you know, your creative commitments start with Celebrity Big Brother, in January.

? : Celebrity Big Brother? Whats that then?



*SCENE FADES OUT, SCENES OF FORBIDDEN LUST OCCUR AS HIGH UP IN CHANNEL FOUR TOWERS, A WINDOW GETS QUIET FOGGY.*

[Stu]

MONDAY, 30TH NOVEMBER, 2009
CHANNEL 4 HEADQUARTERS
BOARDROOM OF LUST
1800 HOURS



*The last of the suits arrive at the boardroom. The present minions quickly exchange their bondage gear for these suits and take seats at the giant marbel table that dominates the room. At the top, Channel 4's new head honcho. A vacant seat is left at the bottom.



Minion Dan : You got the time?

Minion Milky Bar Kid : 1800 hours, my friend.

Minion Dan : Why do you have to call it out like that?

Minion Milky Bar Kid : 'Coz I'm strong and tough.



*Geraldo stalks up from nowhere, swaggers across the table, and rests on the laps of Channel 4's new head honcho. I'm not sure how cat's can swagger, but if you can picture a dozen or so corporate lackeys in bondage gear, this should be a doozey.*



? : So is everybody here?

Minion Farhad : Almost everybody. The late guy is late again.

? : Don't I know you from somewhere?

Minion Farhad : No?

? : What's your surname?

Minion Farhad : Gr ... Graham?

? : I WILL HAVE NO CAMEOS IN THIS BOARDROOM!

Minion Charlie Sheen : Your breaking the fourth wall again, boss. Stick within the narrative.

? : Fair enough. Welcome to Channel 4, kid. Right. Now you know why I have called you all here.



*A video screen descends from the ceiling and a movie promptly flashes up on screen. This movie is a video package showing Big Brother's illustrious ten year history. It's narrated by that ruddy E4 voiceover guy. You know the one.*



? : Right, minions, this is our next big creative project. That being, or this being, Celebrity Big Brother 2010. Only it's not Celebrity Big Brother 2010.

Minion Inqui Izitive : It's not?

? : No, because it starts this Thursday.



*Gasps all around. Geraldo raises his head and takes offense to this. This is done through a complex sequence of whisker perking, nose sniffing, and other stuff along those lines.*



? : Yes, Thursday. This is a scheduling matter to make way for Channel 4's Fresh Exciting New Content this January. There will be no debate on the matter.

Minion Inqui Izitive : Content such as ... ?






''I can't do this all on my own, oh no, I'm no superman!''













''I'll be there for you!''












[Generic atmospheric music]











? : Any questions?

Minion Inqui Izitive : Wh -

? : Not from you. Anymore questions? Good. Vinnie Jones is the new series producer. He will be arriving tomorrow to sort you slags out. MEETING OVER!

Minion The Late Guy : Ph, ph, phew! Sorry I'm late, guys!




*scene fades out*

[MrGaryy]

umfg.

[Tom4784]

Rofl.

[Harry!]

lol

[LemonJam]

Lol