[Vicky.]

Very very controversial and emotive topic this. Please try to keep it 'nice' and not resort to insulting each other over differing viewpoints. Also please dont turn this into a 'pro life' thread. Saying 'noone should ever have an abortion' doesnt help really as I dont think we will ever be at a stage (in the uk anyway) where abortion is not an option..so this situation will always be a problem

At the moment, a woman can chose to ignore a mans wishes totally and abort his child. Or ignore his wishes and go on to have the child, and then expect him to support it aswell.

Some will say the man could just not have sex and thus not have a chance of the woman getting pregnant. But that argument could be used for the woman too..except that if she does fall pregnant..SHE has a choice. He does not.

By not giving the man the choice, you are forcing him to sit back and allow his child to be killed. Or to be responsible for a child he did not want.

However, if the man did have the choice, you are forcing the woman to carry on with a pregnancy that will change her body, change her life, and can in some cases endanger her life too. Or you are forcing her to effectively kill her own child.

I dont think that this is one that will ever have a definitive answer really...as no matter what happens, its unfair on someone. However I agree with things the way they are at the moment. While I appreciate how bad it must be for men to have babies aborted when they desperately want them..or for a man to become a father when he doesnt want to be...I cannot imagine the mental torture of being forced to go through pregnancy and giving birth..or actually going through with an abortion that you do NOT want to have.

[Jake.]

I think that both should have a say. If they are in a loving relationship, they should be able to sit down and talk through their options, coming to an agreement. Having sex is a two-way street, and both should face the aftermath.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by JH95

I think that both should have a say. If they are in a loving relationship, they should be able to sit down and talk through their options, coming to an agreement. Having sex is a two-way street, and both should face the aftermath.

In an ideal world it would work like this. But it doesnt. So many people just screw around with no thoughts of the consequences.

Men should have a say, but women should always make the final decision.

[HD]

Originally Posted by Jesus.H.Christ

Men should have a say, but women should always make the final decision.

I agree with this.

I also think you have to take in account peoples situation, age etc..

[joeysteele]

It would be great if they could both talk it through and decide on what to do together.
I do accept,as a man myself, it is also the Man's child too but I still feel it should in the main be the Woman's decision.

[Josy]

Men should have a say apart from in extreme circumstances imo.

[Tom4784]

Men should have a say but women should generally have the last word given that they will be the ones going through the pregnancy.

[Jords]

The man should be influential but to what degree depends on the woman.

[AnnieK]

Men should have a say but ultimately the woman will always have the final say as she is the only person who can carry that child. I would hope that a fathers point of view is listened to but if a woman is going to abort a baby then unfortunately there is not a lot the man can do.

[Ammi]

..I think ideally that if it's a loving relationship then men should have a say too but not necessarily if it's not a relationship or in a case of rape etc...

[lostalex]

Of course not. They should have zero say, but they should have to pay for half the cost.

[the truth]

Originally Posted by lostalex

Of course not. They should have zero say, but they should have to pay for half the cost.

everyone tip of the year, ignore this tedious attention seeker

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

Of course not. They should have zero say, but they should have to pay for half the cost.

..if you were in a loving relationship Alex.. and you and your partner made a decision to have a surrogate baby...you were both really excited and it was very much planned and wanted..and then the surrogate decided to abort the baby...would you like to have a say in that decision...ideally, I mean..?...

..I know that perhaps the surrogate may have good reason and that the decision would probably be more hers...and it is as Vicky said, something were there's no definitive answer...the problem is that kind of every abortion would have to be looked at differently and that would never happen....

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..if you were in a loving relationship Alex.. and you and your partner made a decision to have a surrogate baby...you were both really excited and it was very much planned and wanted..and then the surrogate decided to abort the baby...would you like to have a say in that decision...ideally, I mean..?...

..I know that perhaps the surrogate may have good reason and that the decision would probably be more hers...and it is as Vicky said, something were there's no definitive answer...the problem is that kind of every abortion would have to be looked at differently and that would never happen....

If i ever used a surrogate, I still don't think I should be able to FORCE the surrogate to carry through the pregnancy if she changed her mind. Obviously I would be deeply disappointed, but I would still support her right to choose.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

If i ever used a surrogate, I still don't think I should be able to FORCE the surrogate to carry through the pregnancy if she changed her mind. Obviously I would be very disappointed, but I would still support her right to choose.

..no not forcing Alex..I agree, that should never happen..but i think Vicky means 'ideally' should father's be taken into consideration with these decisions...I think in some cases that they should but obviously there would be a lot of things to be considered and the final decision would always probably have to be with the mother because it is her body..but it isn't only her baby...it's quite a difficult one, I think....

[Lee.]

The child is as much the fathers as the mothers, so yes they should get a say... unless its a rape case of course

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Lee.

The child is as much the fathers as the mothers, so yes they should get a say... unless its a rape case of course

It's not a child though. It's not a child until it is born. I agree that once it is a child then the parents should have 50/50 say.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

It's not a child though. It's not a child until it is born.

A fully formed baby inside of a woman is just as alive and as much a child as one that has been born.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by 08marsh

A fully formed baby inside of a woman is just as alive and as much a child as one that has been born.

Once it's old enough to live outside of the mother then it is a child. If it's not able to survive outside of the mother, it is not an individual life form.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

Once it's old enough to live outside of the mother then it is a child. If it's not able to survive outside of the mother, it is not an individual life form.

With the advancement of medicine that is a blurred line. Babies born below the abortion limit have survived.

To say those babies weren't worthy of being regarded as an "individual life" is just sick.

[Jake.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

It's not a child though. It's not a child until it is born. I agree that once it is a child then the parents should have 50/50 say.

What about if a woman decided to have an abortion at 7 odd months in behind the mans back??

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by JH95

What about if a woman decided to have an abortion at 7 odd months in behind the mans back??

7 months abortion is illegal i believe.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by JH95

What about if a woman decided to have an abortion at 7 odd months in behind the mans back??

You can't have an abortion at 7 months, can you? I hope not

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

You can't have an abortion at 7 months, can you? I hope not

I don't know the 'ins and outs' of that argument but I think it may be permitted under extreme circumstances, e.g. rape and the possibility of the baby having a severe disability.