[Crimson Dynamo]

2 work collegues discussing some new workers at work. "can you get someone to cover for mandy on the front desk?" says Tom. "Yes" says Marc "there is one of the new ones that has that very experience" "Oh?" says Tom "which one?"

Now Marc has not got the names to hand but he has met them as has Tom, briefly

"the em, the fat lady" says Marc

"aaah" right says Tom I will go and ask her

Now as Jesy is the only fat lady (she is 18 stone and 5 foot 6") Marc was efficient in going for the most recognisable aspect for Tom and indeed Jesy is a fat lady due to lifestyle choices.


But is that acceptable if not why?

[Niamh.]

I don't think it's acceptable, especially in a professional situation like that to comment on a persons weight no.

[Morgan.]

Only if
a) you have a good relationship with the person and
b) if they refer themself to it first, e.g. if they say 'oh yeah I'm the fat one' then I would understand they take it as a joke and not personally.

Never about someone you don't know though.

[thesheriff443]

It's not acceptable, larger lady is still not great but acceptable.

Lt is a c xnt is not acceptable
Lt is a twat is acceptable

[Crimson Dynamo]

please give your reason - if you dont think it is then say why

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

please give your reason - if you dont think it is then say why

Because commenting on a persons physical appearance (especially something that could come across as negative or insulting) is really unprofessional and rude.

[Cherie]

I guess if they are new and they don't know the names it's acceptable in that sense, and it is not being said in a malicious way, in a work environment I have heard people referred to as little Sue or skinny Sue if there is more than one person of the same name, the problem would be if they continued to refer to her in that way once they know her name

[MTVN]

I would probably be very tactful and say 'the bigger one' instead

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by MTVN

I would probably be very tactful and say 'the bigger one' instead

Is that any better

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Is that any better

Yes because saying someone is 'bigger' does not necessarily mean that they are fat

[Crimson Dynamo]

People would have no qualms saying the ginger one or the blonde?

or the gay guy?

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

People would have no qualms saying the ginger one or the blonde?

or the gay guy?

hair colour is different though, it's not negative or rude. Like saying the one with the massive tits would be a no no as well

I think saying the gay guy wouldn't be acceptable either tbh

[Oliver_W]

Sure it's acceptable. If Tom needs to know which one to speak to, gotta be specific!

If she didn't want to be called fat, she should eat less.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Sure it's acceptable. If Tom needs to know which one to speak to, gotta be specific!

If she didn't want to be called fat, she should eat less.

Charming

[Morgan.]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Sure it's acceptable. If Tom needs to know which one to speak to, gotta be specific!

If she didn't want to be called fat, she should eat less.

Aren't you the spitting image of Katie Hopkins ...

[Tozzie]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Sure it's acceptable. If Tom needs to know which one to speak to, gotta be specific!

If she didn't want to be called fat, she should eat less.

I'm guessing you don't have a weight problem. If it were that easy to lose weight why do we have so many overweight and obese people in this country. No one wants to be fat or overweight, there are many reasons why someone may be fat including losing themselves in grief, emotional problems, thyroid problems, unable to exercise due to disability, certain drugs. Try to be a bit more understanding Oliver, no one would choose to be overweight I don't think, I've been there myself through grief gaining a tremendous amount of weight and its horrible, luckily I am now losing the weight gained but its bloody hard I'll tell you.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Tozzie

I'm guessing you don't have a weight problem. If it were that easy to lose weight why do we have so many overweight and obese people in this country. No one wants to be fat or overweight, there are many reasons why someone may be fat including losing themselves in grief, emotional problems, thyroid problems, unable to exercise due to disability, certain drugs. Try to be a bit more understanding Oliver, no one would choose to be overweight I don't think, I've been there myself through grief gaining a tremendous amount of weight and its horrible, luckily I am now losing the weight gained but its bloody hard I'll tell you.

"losing themselves in grief, emotional problems, thyroid problems, unable to exercise due to disability, certain drugs. "

that would be the 1% now wouldnt it?

its the 99% we are discussing

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

"losing themselves in grief, emotional problems, thyroid problems, unable to exercise due to disability, certain drugs. "

that would be the 1% now wouldnt it?

its the 99% we are discussing

I'd say it's far more than 1% of (significantly) overweight people who have emotional problems of some kind d or depression. A poor lifestyle can easily lead people to being a BIT overweight, carrying some extra pounds / a belly etc. But if we're talking actual obesity... It's very often a reward-cycle addiction and that usually has attached emotional and personal issues. And then it's like any other vice, really. There's not much point tackling the symptoms (being fat) until the cause has been identified and dealt with. A *lot* of overweight people manage to lose the weight when they have chronic dieting / exercise to turn their focus to, and then as soon as they reach the desired weight and its back to normal existence, the weight just goes back on because the underlying problem is still there.

[Tozzie]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I'd say it's far more than 1% of (significantly) overweight people who have emotional problems of some kind d or depression. A poor lifestyle can easily lead people to being a BIT overweight, carrying some extra pounds / a belly etc. But if we're talking actual obesity... It's very often a reward-cycle addiction and that usually has attached emotional and personal issues. And then it's like any other vice, really. There's not much point tackling the symptoms (being fat) until the cause has been identified and dealt with. A *lot* of overweight people manage to lose the weight when they have chronic dieting / exercise to turn their focus to, and then as soon as they reach the desired weight and its back to normal existence, the weight just goes back on because the underlying problem is still there.

Excellent post

[Matthew.]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Sure it's acceptable. If Tom needs to know which one to speak to, gotta be specific!

If she didn't want to be called fat, she should eat less.

alright katie hopkins settle

[Matthew.]

i have experience of being called “the fat one” in high school. it was not nice, so don’t call people fat. if describing their weight is completely necessary, there are other words than fat.

[rusticgal]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Sure it's acceptable. If Tom needs to know which one to speak to, gotta be specific!

If she didn't want to be called fat, she should eat less.

Being fat is not always due to someone being over indulgent with food...it could be caused by medication or an inability to exercise due to an injury etc.
I would refer to someone as the 'larger lady' if there was no other way to distinguish her to the other.
It's called being 'tactful' and respectful.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by rusticgal

Being fat is not always due to someone being over indulgent with food...it could be caused by medication or an inability to exercise due to an injury etc.
I would refer to someone as the 'larger lady' if there was no other way to distinguish her to the other.
It's called being 'tactful' and respectful.

So you would lie

[rusticgal]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

So you would lie

How is that a lie?..the larger lady is a more tactful way of describing a 'fat' person...and I'm tactful.

[RileyH]

Oop I do this sometimes