Home Menu

Site Navigation


Notices

Chat and Games Looking for forum games, and completely off topic banter - this is your place! (includes Virtual Big Brother type forum games)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 22-08-2022, 09:27 AM #1
bots's Avatar
bots bots is offline
self-oscillating
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 52,152

Favourites:
BB2023: Noky
BB19: Sian


bots bots is offline
self-oscillating
bots's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 52,152

Favourites:
BB2023: Noky
BB19: Sian


Default I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop ....

but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta.


-------------------------------------------

Voted best joke at the edinburgh fringe this year
bots is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 22-08-2022, 09:29 AM #2
Crimson Dynamo's Avatar
Crimson Dynamo Crimson Dynamo is offline
OG(den)
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 103,398


Crimson Dynamo Crimson Dynamo is offline
OG(den)
Crimson Dynamo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 103,398


Default

Crimson Dynamo is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 22-08-2022, 09:31 AM #3
MTVN's Avatar
MTVN MTVN is offline
All hail the Moyesiah
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: West Country
Posts: 59,385

Favourites (more):
BB2023: Noky
BB19: Lewis G


MTVN MTVN is offline
All hail the Moyesiah
MTVN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: West Country
Posts: 59,385

Favourites (more):
BB2023: Noky
BB19: Lewis G


Default

Quote:
1. "I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta" - Masai Graham

2. "Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it's next-day delivery" - Mark Simmons

3. "My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock" - Olaf Falafel

4. "By my age, my parents had a house and a family, and to be fair to me, so do I - but it is the same house and it is the same family" - Hannah Fairweather

5. "I hate funerals - I'm not a mourning person" - Will Mars

6. "I spent the whole morning building a time machine, so that's four hours of my life that I'm definitely getting back" - Olaf Falafel

7. "I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx" - Richard Pulsford

8. "I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery" - Tim Vine

9. "Don't knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate" - Sophie Duker

10. "I can't even be bothered to be apathetic these days" - Will Duggan
Some of the others much better than the winner I think. Number four is my favourite
MTVN is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 22-08-2022, 09:36 AM #4
bots's Avatar
bots bots is offline
self-oscillating
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 52,152

Favourites:
BB2023: Noky
BB19: Sian


bots bots is offline
self-oscillating
bots's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 52,152

Favourites:
BB2023: Noky
BB19: Sian


Default

i think all of those jokes are better than the winner. 5. is my particular favourite

Last edited by bots; 22-08-2022 at 09:38 AM.
bots is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 22-08-2022, 09:42 AM #5
Crimson Dynamo's Avatar
Crimson Dynamo Crimson Dynamo is offline
OG(den)
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 103,398


Crimson Dynamo Crimson Dynamo is offline
OG(den)
Crimson Dynamo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 103,398


Default

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to
Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said,
"Disneyland burned down."

He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke.

I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
Crimson Dynamo is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 22-08-2022, 09:44 AM #6
Swan's Avatar
Swan Swan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: London
Posts: 9,346

Favourites:
CBB2024: Marisha Wallace


Swan Swan is offline
Senior Member
Swan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: London
Posts: 9,346

Favourites:
CBB2024: Marisha Wallace


Default

None of them make me lol. Some are ok i guess. Maybe im just a miserable bastard but they don't do much for me.
__________________
Swan is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 22-08-2022, 09:57 AM #7
Oliver_W Oliver_W is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Bill's Secret Garden
Posts: 17,565

Favourites (more):
BBCanada 8: Chris
Apprentice 2019: Lottie


Oliver_W Oliver_W is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Bill's Secret Garden
Posts: 17,565

Favourites (more):
BBCanada 8: Chris
Apprentice 2019: Lottie


Default

Tim Vine is better than all the other losers
__________________

Oliver_W is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 22-08-2022, 10:02 AM #8
Crimson Dynamo's Avatar
Crimson Dynamo Crimson Dynamo is offline
OG(den)
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 103,398


Crimson Dynamo Crimson Dynamo is offline
OG(den)
Crimson Dynamo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 103,398


Default

My girlfriend left me because of what she described as my "weird pasta fetish"



Now I'm feeling cannalonli
Crimson Dynamo is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 22-08-2022, 11:58 AM #9
Cherie's Avatar
Cherie Cherie is offline
This Witch doesn't burn
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 66,678

Favourites (more):
Strictly 2020: Bill Bailey
BB19: Sian


Cherie Cherie is offline
This Witch doesn't burn
Cherie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 66,678

Favourites (more):
Strictly 2020: Bill Bailey
BB19: Sian


Default

I would expect the winner to be in a Christmas Cracker...
__________________
'put a bit of lippy on and run a brush through your hair, we are alcoholics, not savages'

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beso
Livelier than Izaaz, and hes got 2 feet.
Cherie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 22-08-2022, 03:05 PM #10
Mystic Mock's Avatar
Mystic Mock Mystic Mock is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: with joeysteele.
Posts: 64,129

Favourites (more):
BB2024: Sarah
BBCanada 9: Rohan


Mystic Mock Mystic Mock is offline
Senior Member
Mystic Mock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: with joeysteele.
Posts: 64,129

Favourites (more):
BB2024: Sarah
BBCanada 9: Rohan


Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bitontheslide View Post
i think all of those jokes are better than the winner. 5. is my particular favourite
I loved 5 as well.
__________________
Mystic Mock is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Bookmark/share this topic

Tags
shop, spaghetti, steal


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:03 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

About Us ThisisBigBrother.com

"Big Brother and UK Television Forum. Est. 2001"

 

© 2023
no new posts