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Ammi · 08-11-2010, 02:27 PM

do you think you could ever truly forgive them or do you think you could never trust them again?

Niamh. · 08-11-2010, 02:29 PM

depends on the circumstances I suppose, an affair I know I could never forgive or trust my husband again. I would also struggle with cheating but depending on the story etc could possibly forgive

Ammi · 08-11-2010, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamhxo

depends on the circumstances I suppose, an affair I know I could never forgive or trust my husband again. I would also struggle with cheating but depending on the story etc could possibly forgive

I don't know if we ever know unless it happened to us but I have friends (unfortunately too many) who this has happened to and they say they have forgiven but they don't trust their partner anymore. I know it takes time to forget but if you have really forgiven surely you would have to trust as well as trust is everything

Benjamin · 08-11-2010, 02:37 PM

Nope. Never. It happened to me with my ex-fiancee and we tried getting back together several times, but I could never forget what they did and the trust wasn't there. I loved them, still do I suppose, and it hurt to realise that we could never have what we once had, no matter how hard we tried. So I ended it for good rather than become unhappy.

Niamh. · 08-11-2010, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhino

I don't know if we ever know unless it happened to us but I have friends (unfortunately too many) who this has happened to and they say they have forgiven but they don't trust their partner anymore. I know it takes time to forget but if you have really forgiven surely you would have to trust as well as trust is everything

yeah, like you said it's hard to tell really unless you're in the situation but I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to trust him again if it was an affair as besides the actual cheating itself, you have the lies and deceit on top of everything else.

Ammi · 08-11-2010, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamhxo

yeah, like you said it's hard to tell really unless you're in the situation but I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to trust him again if it was an affair as besides the actual cheating itself, you have the lies and deceit on top of everything else.

Yes that for me would be the hardest part I think to decieve someone who trusts you is the lowest

Niamh. · 08-11-2010, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhino

Yes that for me would be the hardest part I think to decieve someone who trusts you is the lowest

yeah, I can't stand lying, and for someone who supposedly loves you to stand there and lie to your face would be telling me that they don't actually love you at all, not in the way I view love anyway.

Ammi · 08-11-2010, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ukturtle

Nope. Never. It happened to me with my ex-fiancee and we tried getting back together several times, but I could never forget what they did and the trust wasn't there. I loved them, still do I suppose, and it hurt to realise that we could never have what we once had, no matter how hard we tried. So I ended it for good rather than become unhappy.

I guess it was tainted after that and you cant erase that so I am sure you did the right thing - right for you

Malza · 08-11-2010, 03:00 PM

Clearly No, I would not forgive him

Livia · 08-11-2010, 03:27 PM

Surely it would depend on whether they were in love with the person they cheated with, or whether it was just sex.

Ammi · 08-11-2010, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia

Surely it would depend on whether they were in love with the person they cheated with, or whether it was just sex.

If they were in love with that person and they wanted to be with them then that would be something you couldn't do anything about but if they weren't I I couldn't say a definate no because whatever the circumstances it would be down to whether I could forgive them in the end

Tom · 08-11-2010, 03:33 PM

I wouldn't be happy but I'd be a hypocrite if I couldn't forgive or forget so I'd deal with it I guess

But if she cheats with another woman thats completely acceptable as long as the other girl is hot and I get pictures/video or even get to join in at some stage

Livia · 08-11-2010, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom

I wouldn't be happy but I'd be a hypocrite if I couldn't forgive or forget so I'd deal with it I guess

But if she cheats with another woman thats completely acceptable as long as the other girl is hot and I get pictures/video or even get to join in at some stage

I'm sure she's be happy to watch you in a gay clinch with another bloke, and get the pictures/video etc.

Benjamin · 08-11-2010, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia

Surely it would depend on whether they were in love with the person they cheated with, or whether it was just sex.

Even if it is just sex, it is still a betrayal that I cannot forgive. The trust has gone, and it is always nagging at the back of your mind.

Ammi · 08-11-2010, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia

I'm sure she's be happy to watch you in a gay clinch with another bloke, and get the pictures/video etc.

Crimson Dynamo · 08-11-2010, 03:38 PM

Everyone cheats, it is all about opportunity. To expect faithfulness all the time is niave at best.

You have to forgive or you have to separate, there is no middle ground.

If you think well my partner wouldnt, well lets just say, they all thought that.

Tom · 08-11-2010, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia

I'm sure she's be happy to watch you in a gay clinch with another bloke, and get the pictures/video etc.

I'm allowed to in the same situation but its not gonna happen

Ammi · 08-11-2010, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Everyone cheats, it is all about opportunity. To expect faithfulness all the time is niave at best.

You have to forgive or you have to separate, there is no middle ground.

If you think well my partner wouldnt, well lets just say, they all thought that.

I agree there is no middle ground but I think lots of people who have been cheated on think they have forgiven but they actually haven't because they don't trust the person anymore - and yes you can never say 'they woudn't' I dont think everyone does though but I think most people have the opportunity if they want to

Benjamin · 08-11-2010, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom

I'm allowed to in the same situation but its not gonna happen

Don't tell simonsays that

Niamh. · 08-11-2010, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Everyone cheats, it is all about opportunity. To expect faithfulness all the time is niave at best.

You have to forgive or you have to separate, there is no middle ground.

If you think well my partner wouldnt, well lets just say, they all thought that.

eh no they don't

Crimson Dynamo · 08-11-2010, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhino

I agree there is no middle ground but I think lots of people who have been cheated on think they have forgiven but they actually haven't because they don't trust the person anymore - and yes you can never say 'they woudn't' I dont think everyone does though but I think most people have the opportunity if they want to

People dont trust anyway. No one in their right mind sets off in a relationship and does not have a feeling in their mind that the potential is there. It manifests in

worries about being late from night out

phone text checking

email checking

worries about work colleagues

worries about nights away with work

and so on