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Old 30-04-2012, 01:21 PM #1
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Default TiBB Divorce: Niamh vs. ukturtle
Now as you know, me and Niamh have hit a rough patch. We tried to work it out but her constant barrage of abuse, the black eyes she has given me and the constant jibes about my Cheeky Girls discography has left me no choice but to file for divorce and flee to New Zealand.

We need a settlement sorted out, she can have the house and Scott, I want the potato salad, the car and the leather sofas. Any helpers?
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Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Niamh is younger than me and far more beautiful
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:23 PM #2
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You said you were taking Scott
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You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
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I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

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Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
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Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:24 PM #3
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I know you wanted him, so you can have him. The potato salad is mine though. Deal with it.
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Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Niamh is younger than me and far more beautiful
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:24 PM #4
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:26 PM #5
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nobody wants me
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:27 PM #6
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I'll keep you Scott as long as Ben pays your maintenance
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You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
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I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

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Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
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Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:29 PM #7
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I'll be taking Scott, the pair of you clearly don't deserve him You can argue over the rest yourselves

Come on Scott, I have some nice cake for you!
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:29 PM #8
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-peeks through net curtains and gossips to next door neighbours Firewire and Smithy about it-
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:30 PM #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh. View Post
I'll keep you Scott as long as Ben pays your maintenance
Now Scott is pregnant, with what I suspect to be Niall's baby, you can defo have him, and I will pay no maintenance. You should have taught him the rules of sex better.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Niamh is younger than me and far more beautiful
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:31 PM #10
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I don't like being in the middle of this

I'm going to live in a children's home instead.
Last edited by Black Dagger; 30-04-2012 at 01:32 PM.
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:32 PM #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ukturtle View Post
Now Scott is pregnant, with what I suspect to be Niall's baby, you can defo have him, and I will pay no maintenance. You should have taught him the rules of sex better.
You're the man, that was your job

Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Dagger View Post
I don't like being in the middle of this

I'm going to live in a children's home instead.
Aww you can stay Lucas, you know you were always my favourite
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Quote:
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You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:33 PM #12
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Oh dear :S
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:33 PM #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh. View Post
You're the man, that was your job



Aww you can stay Lucas, you know you were always my favourite
Oh yay.

Will this be meaning I get more presents at Christmas?
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:33 PM #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Kate* View Post
I'll be taking Scott, the pair of you clearly don't deserve him You can argue over the rest yourselves

Come on Scott, I have some nice cake for you!
sounds very sinister
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:33 PM #15
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Lucas and Scott, you are welcome in my home. In return you must do all the ironing, and I will give each of you Ł2.50 pocket money per month.



Niamh and Bens' Lawyers discuss the settlement over a drink.....
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:34 PM #16
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Piddles will get to the bottom of this problem.

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You're giving me a million reasons about a million reasons
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:35 PM #17
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..You two are meant to be the adults..I cannot believe you are doing this in front of poor Scott...neither of you deserve him...
..and I ate the potato salad anyway
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:36 PM #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh. View Post

Aww you can stay Lucas, you know you were always my favourite
Poor Scott, he'll be broken by that. And now that he is pregnant you are turning your back on him. I hope the neighbours know about this. Also now is the time to tell you I had an affair with our next door neighbour, Greg.
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Spoiler:



Quote:
Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Niamh is younger than me and far more beautiful
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:36 PM #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Dagger View Post
Oh yay.

Will this be meaning I get more presents at Christmas?
You can have all the presents
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Spoiler:

Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:37 PM #20
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Quote:
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You can have all the presents
Oh good

You were always the better parent.
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:37 PM #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ukturtle View Post
Poor Scott, he'll be broken by that. And now that he is pregnant you are turning your back on him. I hope the neighbours know about this. Also now is the time to tell you I had an affair with our next door neighbour, Greg.
So did I
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Quote:
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You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:39 PM #22
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Poor Scott, he'll be broken by that. And now that he is pregnant you are turning your back on him. I hope the neighbours know about this. Also now is the time to tell you I had an affair with our next door neighbour, Greg.
Disgraceful!

Niamh, I have taken the Bar exam online, have printed out my diploma, and am at your service to take this despicable man to the cleaners.

Here I am.....

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Old 30-04-2012, 01:39 PM #23
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Greg, the dirty slut bucket.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Niamh is younger than me and far more beautiful
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:40 PM #24
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Quote:
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Oh good

You were always the better parent.
That's my boy
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Spoiler:

Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 30-04-2012, 01:40 PM #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Kate* View Post
Disgraceful!

Niamh, I have taken the Bar exam online, have printed out my diploma, and am at your service to take this despicable man to the cleaners.

Here I am.....
I want that couch
__________________

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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiRTh View Post
You compare Jim Davidson to Nelson Mandela?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus. View Post
I know, how stupid? He's more like Gandhi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 7:14 View Post



Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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