[alc09]

^



Dr Mr Grim Reaper,

So far this year you have taken my favorite Actor Patrick Swayze, my favorite chef Keith Flloyd and my favorite singers Michael Jackson and Stephen Gately.

Just to let you know, my favorite footballer is Cristiano Ronaldo and I love all pakistanis.

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Francis, a twelve-year old boy, goes to confessions at Chapel.

He cries; "Forgive me, Father. For I have sinned..."

"Are you cheating on me, you little bastard?!" replies the Priest.

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A charity pantomime in aid of paranoid schizophrenics and homosexuals decended into chaos when someone shouted; "HE'S BEHIND YOU!"

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A chemist walked into his shop after lunch to find a man leaning against a wall near the counter.

"What's wrong with him?", he asked his assistant. The assistant replied; "He came in for cough medicine, but we're all out, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxitives".

"You ****ing idiot!", replied the chemist. "You can't treat a cough with laxitives".

"Of course you can", the assistant replied. "Look at him, he daren't ****ing cough now!"