[user104658]

Originally Posted by Redway

A lot of gay people (you’d see what I mean if you’d been a bit more exposed to people from different cultural backgrounds) still want to marry at their respective religious institutions for familial (or, again, cultural) reasons. That’s something I can sympathise with but I can also at least empathise with the church/mosque figures who refuse to marry them off.

I think your opinions about spirituality and how deeply-rooted it can be as far as familial works go (including marriage) is very Western-oriented so I don’t blame you for adopting that kind of approach. But know that your experiences aren’t the same as that of a lesbian Nigerian-Brit. who faces ostracisation from her community (more than you’d ever know) but is still brave enough to stand up for what she wants anyway. Or a gay Muslim lad who’d face deportation and rank abuse for coming out but still has respect for his religion. Those are things you can’t even begin to appreciate when you’re sat behind your screen presenting a holier-than-thou stance and obviously don’t have much real experience dealing with conflicted LGBT millennials from non-Western indigenous cultures.

I understand that and actually I think you’re underestimating how low the acceptance in in many Christian church communities in the UK - and definitely the US. I think in the UK they’re less vocal about it, I had a “parent friend” (the friends you have while your kids are little and don’t keep in contact with after that) who was heavily involved in the church (evangelical, I think) and from everything I knew about her I’d have assumed her views on homosexuality were moderate. Until the conversation actually came up - and she declared that while she’d be friends with gay people, she would have to tell them they’re not going to heaven, and that they should “stop”. Also that she’d be “utterly devastated” if one of her kids was gay. I’ve since realised it’s a very common attitude in British churches, it’s just not announced as loudly.

And my hypothetical was in a world where I’m a mystical overlord who can shape reality at will, and that I’d ideally remove religion from all equations entirely… it’s not intended to be a pragmatic suggestion for the real world.