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Old 28-10-2021, 04:46 PM #26
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Courtney Stodden vibes
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Old 28-10-2021, 04:53 PM #27
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people call out other forms of discrimination on this forum at the drop of a hat, but ageism has been rampant for a long time. I'm not getting at anyone on this thread, but ageism is real and people need to educate themselves and think about what they are actually saying
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Old 28-10-2021, 04:53 PM #28
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Courtney Stodden vibes

She is 27, though
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Old 28-10-2021, 05:01 PM #29
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Originally Posted by bitontheslide View Post
people call out other forms of discrimination on this forum at the drop of a hat, but ageism has been rampant for a long time. I'm not getting at anyone on this thread, but ageism is real and people need to educate themselves and think about what they are actually saying

Why do you keep calling it 'ageism' ? , when people have given valid reasons for their opinions. Especially when some people on this forum have children.

Like I said it's not illegal but it's still weird , you can't change that .
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Old 28-10-2021, 05:12 PM #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh. View Post
It's pretty creepy, legal or not
It's definitely weird.
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Old 28-10-2021, 05:14 PM #31
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Originally Posted by bitontheslide View Post
this is an incredibly discriminatory viewpoint. Why is it more of an issue when marriage is involved vs not being married. At what point is a friendship between a younger and older person problematic. Should older people never associate with younger people in fear of being called an old perv?

People find friendships and love in the most unlikely settings, and I think it's very wrong to say something is wrong just because their is an age gap, particularly if it is perfectly legal. The only way we move forward as a society is if we understand different peoples viewpoints and outlawing relationships between young and old is only going to increase divisions and lack of understanding
While I personally find it weird, I do like this viewpoint.
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Old 28-10-2021, 05:20 PM #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldHeart View Post
Why do you keep calling it 'ageism' ? , when people have given valid reasons for their opinions. Especially when some people on this forum have children.

Like I said it's not illegal but it's still weird , you can't change that .
substitute "50 year old man" for any other discriminated group and see how long it would be before there was outrage

It is against the law to discriminate against someone purely on the basis of age. The point being that not only is it legal for a man to marry anyone of legal age, it is illegal to say he can't

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Old 28-10-2021, 05:30 PM #33
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I agree with bitontheside

I’d rather two people of different ages be happy than two people of the same age and the guy hitting and controlling his girlfriend
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Old 28-10-2021, 05:34 PM #34
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Someone’s age doesn’t make them a creep if they get into a relationship with someone of the legal age, is it normal? No, is it for everybody? No, does it hurt anybody as long as both parties are legal and consenting? No.

I have a feeling people wouldn’t be so judgey if the subject was about an older woman tbh, older woman with younger partners are seen as some sort of liberated goddesses, enjoying their life, while older men are seen as perverts for even finding younger women attractive, it’s a blindingly obvious double standard
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Old 28-10-2021, 05:36 PM #35
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Ask any parent of an 18 years old boy or girl

How would you like your son and daughter to go out with a 50 year old?


100% answer the same

is all the point being made is
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Old 28-10-2021, 05:59 PM #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet View Post
Ask any parent of an 18 years old boy or girl

How would you like your son and daughter to go out with a 50 year old?


100% answer the same

is all the point being made is
As parents you don’t get to choose who your son or daughter has a relationship with


I know some coutures have an arranged marriage which I see as far more a messed up relationship

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Old 28-10-2021, 07:00 PM #37
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Originally Posted by bitontheslide View Post
it is still discriminatory. If you are outlawing something purely on the basis of age, it is ageist, plain and simple.
People could change 18 year old to 16 year old or 14 year old and make the same argument. Why even go there?
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Old 28-10-2021, 07:04 PM #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elliot View Post
People could change 18 year old to 16 year old or 14 year old and make the same argument. Why even go there?
it's not something i am making up, it's the law of the land, something that the majority of people on this forum don't seem to have grasped. Very disappointing
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Old 28-10-2021, 07:07 PM #39
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Originally Posted by Liam- View Post
Someone’s age doesn’t make them a creep if they get into a relationship with someone of the legal age, is it normal? No, is it for everybody? No, does it hurt anybody as long as both parties are legal and consenting? No.

I have a feeling people wouldn’t be so judgey if the subject was about an older woman tbh, older woman with younger partners are seen as some sort of liberated goddesses, enjoying their life, while older men are seen as perverts for even finding younger women attractive, it’s a blindingly obvious double standard
I'd find it just as creepy actually
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Old 28-10-2021, 07:21 PM #40
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Originally Posted by Niamh. View Post
I'd find it just as creepy actually
yep

and i would hope all members do
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Old 28-10-2021, 08:15 PM #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bitontheslide View Post
this is an incredibly discriminatory viewpoint. Why is it more of an issue when marriage is involved vs not being married. At what point is a friendship between a younger and older person problematic. Should older people never associate with younger people in fear of being called an old perv?

People find friendships and love in the most unlikely settings, and I think it's very wrong to say something is wrong just because their is an age gap, particularly if it is perfectly legal. The only way we move forward as a society is if we understand different peoples viewpoints and outlawing relationships between young and old is only going to increase divisions and lack of understanding

It’s not about the age of the older partner, nor is it about the size of the gap, it’s purely about the age of the younger partner.

If a 30 year old woman wants to marry a 70 year old man - for whatever reason - then while I’d find that unusual it’s not “creepy” and nor would it be strange for them to have things in common.

That’s a 40 year age gap.

If a 45 year old man is hooking up with 18 year old girls then yes it is massively questionable and creepy.

That’s a 27 year age gap. A full 13 years less than the above example - and yet, a totally different scenario.
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Old 28-10-2021, 08:23 PM #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liam- View Post

I have a feeling people wouldn’t be so judgey if the subject was about an older woman tbh, older woman with younger partners are seen as some sort of liberated goddesses, enjoying their life, while older men are seen as perverts for even finding younger women attractive, it’s a blindingly obvious double standard


Much older women with boys in their late teens and early 20’s are not seen as “liberated goddesses” they’re plastered across the front page of The Star as a joke. What world are you living in? The plot of a zesty television serial?

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Originally Posted by bitontheslide View Post
it's not something i am making up, it's the law of the land, something that the majority of people on this forum don't seem to have grasped. Very disappointing.
This idea that legality = morality comes up quite frequently on this forum. Where are people getting that idea? They barely intersect and when they do it’s happenstance not by design.

Also the idea that it’s “illegal” to find large age gaps with a very young younger partner to be creepy is a bit out there . I assume you know it’s not illegal and are just ranting.
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Old 28-10-2021, 08:34 PM #43
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i am making the point of the agism that exists on this forum. If I had made the same comment about an ethnic minority, i would have been hounded off the forum
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Old 29-10-2021, 06:39 AM #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toy Soldier View Post
Much older women with boys in their late teens and early 20’s are not seen as “liberated goddesses” they’re plastered across the front page of The Star as a joke. What world are you living in? The plot of a zesty television serial?



This idea that legality = morality comes up quite frequently on this forum. Where are people getting that idea? They barely intersect and when they do it’s happenstance not by design.

Also the idea that it’s “illegal” to find large age gaps with a very young younger partner to be creepy is a bit out there . I assume you know it’s not illegal and are just ranting.


Do you have any links for the front page splashes where a 40 plus woman has been sleeping with an 18 yr old?
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Old 29-10-2021, 08:10 AM #45
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Originally Posted by Toy Soldier View Post
It’s not about the age of the older partner, nor is it about the size of the gap, it’s purely about the age of the younger partner.

If a 30 year old woman wants to marry a 70 year old man - for whatever reason - then while I’d find that unusual it’s not “creepy” and nor would it be strange for them to have things in common.

That’s a 40 year age gap.

If a 45 year old man is hooking up with 18 year old girls then yes it is massively questionable and creepy.

That’s a 27 year age gap. A full 13 years less than the above example - and yet, a totally different scenario.
Exactly. An 18 year old is a teenager, still a child in a lot of ways, especially emotionally. Like I said my daughter was still in school at that age (your College is just the last 2 years of secondary school here) My son is 17 and he will still be in school at 18, if he came home with a 50 year old woman I would be very angry with that woman and seriously questioning her interest in -imo- a child. I would not be happy about that.

Of course I'd still have a lot of concerns about it if he were 30 and came home with a 62 year old such as him being able to have children, would he end up being a carer at a young age etc but not concerns that he was being taking advantage of or not emotionally capable for the relationship. There's a huge difference between the two even though the age gap would be the same
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Old 29-10-2021, 08:17 AM #46
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People are really not understanding the issue here. This is out and out age discrimination. In the same way that you can't say an entire ethnic group are rapists or murders, you cannot say all people over a certain age are creepy perverts. Suggesting that an older person cannot be friends with someone younger is not only criminally insulting to that demographic it quite frankly an obscene restriction on the freedoms of what an older person can or cannot do.

That is my last words in this thread, but, honestly, i expected better
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Old 29-10-2021, 08:46 AM #47
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@niamh and toy soldier

What would your reaction be if your daughters do bring and older man home?

You can’t stop them from seeing an older person if that’s what they choose

Why is ok for you to call and 18 year old a child and yet at that age they can join the army and be killed.
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Old 29-10-2021, 08:52 AM #48
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@niamh and toy soldier

What would your reaction be if your daughters do bring and older man home?

You can’t stop them from seeing an older person if that’s what they choose

Why is ok for you to call and 18 year old a child and yet at that age they can join the army and be killed.
My 17 (nearly 18 year old) is still very much a child to me. I wouldn't want him to join the Army either so not sure what your point there is? I already said up thread at least twice what my reaction would be
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Old 29-10-2021, 09:06 AM #49
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My 17 (nearly 18 year old) is still very much a child to me. I wouldn't want him to join the Army either so not sure what your point there is? I already said up thread at least twice what my reaction would be
My point is not all 18 year olds are the same or classed as children
I haven’t read every post but at the end of the day it’s not the parents that get to say who their offspring choose to date.
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Old 29-10-2021, 09:12 AM #50
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Originally Posted by Liam- View Post
Someone’s age doesn’t make them a creep if they get into a relationship with someone of the legal age, is it normal? No, is it for everybody? No, does it hurt anybody as long as both parties are legal and consenting? No.

I have a feeling people wouldn’t be so judgey if the subject was about an older woman tbh, older woman with younger partners are seen as some sort of liberated goddesses, enjoying their life, while older men are seen as perverts for even finding younger women attractive, it’s a blindingly obvious double standard
It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman, it's still a big age gap and still weird. But as I said each to their own if it's a genuine relationship.

I know what you're saying though ,and sometimes there is a double standard and the guy is called a " creep " and usually the woman is seen as a "cougar" and it's laughed about . But some older women still get judged for dating younger men anyway .

Imo an 18 year old is still young and immature , they're usually naive. Can any of us say we had the same level of maturity when we were 18 ? as we do now ?. Obviously I know everyone is different though.
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