[Livia]

Originally Posted by lily.

I think it depends on the kind of work you do. If you work in a high street shop or a small company, it would make less difference, but if you work in a high-stress job with deadlines and demands, then I expect it would have a negative effect on those left behind to carry the weight/responsibility of the task.

I don't have experience of this, because I chose the stay-at-home-mum path, but I am not surprised by your experiences Livia because I do know a lot of people who want to have it all... and that, in my view, is an unrealistic goal.

That's what I'm getting at. I don't have a contract for x amount of hours, in my job I might have to go abroad at a moment's notice or go in to work on a Sunday. It's unrealistic to expect someone with kids would be able to do that, or that they would even want to. If I was in a position to think about wanting kids I might want to take advantage of the offer here, and I might not. It would be my choice. Or I might decide I want to find a job that fits in with having a child. This isn't a 'one size fits all' question.