[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

If that is their actual aim then why is it failing so badly? Why are kids getting to their teens / 20's, and even some before they leave primary school, with unprecedented levels of despression, so suppressed and miserable as to make us one of the worst in the world?

...I guess it's a bland thing to say and obviously a deeper discussion...but part of it is funding really and wheher a school is given sufficient funding for individual pupil needs/one to one etc..there is obviously some but always, always needing more but it can only happen with the funding for it and it's something that many heads are constantly 'fighting' for...also, it's parents working with schools and knowing schools are very always 'in their child's interest' and that often doesn't happen but some parents don't take on any responsibility themselves for any behavioural issues in schools, when often behavioural issues or lack of concentration etc are things that are 'brought into the school' from the start of the day..it's always, always a 'joint partnership' between family and school and that's the only way that success will happen more...

[Ammi]

..I'll come back to this a bit later if that's ok as I have somewhere to be...

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...I guess it's a bland thing to say and obviously a deeper discussion...but part of it is funding really and wheher a school is given sufficient funding for individual pupil needs/one to one etc..there is obviously some but always, always needing more but it can only happen with the funding for it and it's something that many heads are constantly 'fighting' for...also, it's parents working with schools and knowing schools are very always 'in their child's interest' and that often doesn't happen but some parents don't take on any responsibility themselves for any behavioural issues in schools, when often behavioural issues or lack of concentration etc are things that are 'brought into the school' from the start of the day..it's always, always a 'joint partnership' between family and school and that's the only way that success will happen more...

I completely agree with that, and maybe we've just had bad experiences, but unfortunately the impression we've gotten in practice when trying to be very actively involved is a bit of a roll of the eyes and an impression that we're pestering / stepping on the teacher's toes with our suggestions. A sort of "Thanks but we know what we're doing, go home please" atmosphere.

It's just frustrating, because we were actually fully prepared to home-school and our eldest only went to school because she's extremely social and because she wanted to go. She's made countless good friends and most days she loves it... but under the surface, so far it's just been constant work every day to undo little bits of damage that are being caused along the way.

Funnily enouigh, for our 3-year-old, who is on the Autistic spectrum, we're looking into a local specialist ASD school (one of the best in the country is very luckily right on our doorstep) and when I was reading the information - the relaxed learning structure, the personal tailoring to ability, the selective curriculums, the less rigid routine for those who need it - my immediate reaction was just "This sounds brilliant... it sounds like how ALL primary schools should be??". I guess funding levels make that impossible, though. Which is very, very sad. Systematically breaking our children because there isn't enough money.

[rubymoo]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I completely agree with that, and maybe we've just had bad experiences, but unfortunately the impression we've gotten in practice when trying to be very actively involved is a bit of a roll of the eyes and an impression that we're pestering / stepping on the teacher's toes with our suggestions. A sort of "Thanks but we know what we're doing, go home please" atmosphere.

It's just frustrating, because we were actually fully prepared to home-school and our eldest only went to school because she's extremely social and because she wanted to go. She's made countless good friends and most days she loves it... but under the surface, so far it's just been constant work every day to undo little bits of damage that are being caused along the way.

Funnily enouigh, for our 3-year-old, who is on the Autistic spectrum, we're looking into a local specialist ASD school (one of the best in the country is very luckily right on our doorstep) and when I was reading the information - the relaxed learning structure, the personal tailoring to ability, the selective curriculums, the less rigid routine for those who need it - my immediate reaction was just "This sounds brilliant... it sounds like how ALL primary schools should be??". I guess funding levels make that impossible, though. Which is very, very sad. Systematically breaking our children because there isn't enough money.

My daughter has a diagnosis of ASD, she goes to a mainstream school that has a unit attached for children with ASD, she is integrated into mainstream school and lucky for her has all the support for the ERC should she need it.

When she was 3 the head of the nursery school wanted me to choose a special school for my daughter, i was furious and dug my heels in as i wanted her to be mainstream, she had a statement of education in place and after a lot of fighting, tears (all mine!) i finally got what i wanted (and what i thought was best for my daughter) and i can say she has thrived, and doing really well, look into other schools and go with your gut.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I completely agree with that, and maybe we've just had bad experiences, but unfortunately the impression we've gotten in practice when trying to be very actively involved is a bit of a roll of the eyes and an impression that we're pestering / stepping on the teacher's toes with our suggestions. A sort of "Thanks but we know what we're doing, go home please" atmosphere.

It's just frustrating, because we were actually fully prepared to home-school and our eldest only went to school because she's extremely social and because she wanted to go. She's made countless good friends and most days she loves it... but under the surface, so far it's just been constant work every day to undo little bits of damage that are being caused along the way.

Funnily enouigh, for our 3-year-old, who is on the Autistic spectrum, we're looking into a local specialist ASD school (one of the best in the country is very luckily right on our doorstep) and when I was reading the information - the relaxed learning structure, the personal tailoring to ability, the selective curriculums, the less rigid routine for those who need it - my immediate reaction was just "This sounds brilliant... it sounds like how ALL primary schools should be??". I guess funding levels make that impossible, though. Which is very, very sad. Systematically breaking our children because there isn't enough money.

…obviously I don’t know what your actual conversations and suggestions have been so can’t comment on that but in my experience, there is nothing that a school encourages more than a parent taking an interest and also becoming actively involved in lessons on a voluntary basis if that’s possible, with work commitments etc, I know that it sometimes isn’t though…but again that’s ‘working together’, which really is only going to improve a child’s happiness at school….whether it be pupils/parents/students gaining work experience etc, a school is a caring and nurturing environment and ideas and suggestions are usually something that are very much listened to and welcomed from everyone..I’m sorry that with you personally, there has not been the communication that you felt there should be…ideas and suggestions though obviously have to be right for many individual personalities in a classroom/school though so may not always be something that could be possible….maybe spending time at your daughter’s school/in her class would be something that would be a good idea..?..or thinking of becoming a School Governor there would be a great thing..?..in any case though, you shouldn’t feel as though you’ve been met with ‘rolling eyes’ and I personally (if I had any issues..)..wouldn’t accept that and speak to the head teacher ..or maybe even, the Chair of Governor’s if I felt that was appropriate…but you say that your daughter has many friends, seems a happy child..?..and that most days she loves school so is that not really saying a general ‘school system positive’, with maybe just a bit better communication required on some things that you feel less happy about…


...with your youngest daughter, it’s a good thing that she has been diagnosed so young as many parents often struggle to get a diagnosis for their children and this is a huge problem and those are really (in the system), the more ‘lost children’ and struggling families…a diagnosis means funding/extra help/extra specific resources etc and meeting a child's needs… so always a good thing…obviously you have a choice in which school she goes to…the reason that specialist schools can provide more is just that really, they’re ‘specialist’ so geared and resourced up obviously in a way that a mainstream school wouldn’t be and obviously much smaller classroom sizes as well…we have two really great ones locally and I think the staff ratio being funded in them is for 1-5 children, which is something that just can’t happen in a mainstream school..for instance, if specific training was required for a child in a mainstream school like de-escalating training..?..then probably 4/5 staff at that school would have funding for that training, whereas in specialist schools, virtually every member of staff will be fully trained in most things because they are ‘specialist’…we also have some referral/education units not too far away with classroom sizes as small as 5-10 children, so yeah, some great advantages there…but many parents also prefer to have their child at a mainstream school even with the larger classroom sizes because that also offers so much to the child as well… /it really is down to the individual child’s needs and what the parent feels is right for them and what you would feel is right for your daughter….