[Iceman]

How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

[Captain.Remy]

[Iceman]

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

[Jessica.]

Originally Posted by Smithy

I see a lot of women are using this site...

The dinner won't cook itself you know.

I see a lot of men using this site! Money doesn't grow on trees.

[Iceman]

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer the sink.

[Chantel]

Why are well-dressed men always married?
Because their wife chooses their clothes for them.

[Smithy]

Originally Posted by Jessica..

I see a lot of men using this site! Money doesn't grow on trees.

What do you call a women with an opinion

Spoiler:

wrong

[Iceman]

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

[Iceman]

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.

[Chantel]

How does a man show a woman that he is planning for the future?
He buys ten cases of beer.

[Iceman]

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

[Niamh.]

I have a great Joke!!

Spoiler:

Men

[Smithy]

Japanese scientists have invented a camera with a shutter that operates so fast, it was recently able to take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut.

[Iceman]

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

[Niamh.]

Yo mamas so fat she fell in love and broke it

[Smithy]

If a woman says something, and there isn't a man around to hear her, is she still wrong?

[Captain.Remy]

[Jords]

Originally Posted by Niamhxo

I have a great Joke!!

Spoiler:

Men

I have a better joke!

Spoiler:

Women

[Chantel]

A man once asked God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God answered: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man asked, "Why did you make her so dumb?"
God replied: "So she would love a wanker like you."

[Jessica.]

Yo mama's so fat when she fell down the stairs I thought EastEnders was ending.

[Smithy]

Originally Posted by Niamhxo

Yo mamas so fat she fell in love and broke it

Yo mamas so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side

[30stone]

[Jack_]

A man comes home from work, runs in, sits down in front of the TV and shouts to his wife "Quick! Get me a beer!".

A little confused, the wife goes and gets her husband a beer. He immidiately downs it and says "Quick! Get me a beer! It's going to start any minute!".

This time, a little pissed off, she gets him another beer. Again, he downs it and says "Quick! Quick! Get me a beer! It's going to start any minute!"

This time the wife flips. She screams "How dare you waltz in here thinking you can boss me around whilst you sit on your arse..."

The man says "Oh shit. It's started".

[Smithy]

8008135 women don't understand this joke.

[Jords]

Yo momma so fat she stood on the scales and it read 'to be continued'