[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Withano

Their attraction to gender is why they are willing to date both genders. A straight mans attraction to females is why he would be willing to date one gender.
A pan (and an asexual) isnt attracted to gender.. they may both be willing to date both genders, but that doesnt make them bi.

Like TS said, I don't really get what you mean by "attraction to gender". I'm generally willing to date either gender, and the two criteria are a)what do they look like b)what's their personality like. What their gender is doesn't come into it. If they have big (biological feature) then score! But it's not a deal breaker.

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Like TS said, I don't really get what you mean by "attraction to gender". I'm generally willing to date either gender, and the two criteria are a)what do they look like b)what's their personality like. What their gender is doesn't come into it. If they have big (biological feature) then score! But it's not a deal breaker.

Ever since you claimed an asexual who would date men and women is a bisexual, ive understood you tbh. Youre obviously wrong, but i cant be the one to talk you down from there.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Lilbro

I didn't think you were homophobic

Good. Just don’t go and chat about me in another thread next time.

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Withano

Ever since you claimed an asexual who would date men and women is a bisexual, ive understood you tbh. Youre obviously wrong, but i cant be the one to talk you down from there.

Okay so I'm wrong on the asexuals thing. But asexuals and "pansexuals" are different. So...
Like TS said, I don't really get what you mean by "attraction to gender". I'm generally willing to date either gender, and the two criteria are a)what do they look like b)what's their personality like. What their gender is doesn't come into it. If they have big (biological feature) then score! But it's not a deal breaker.

[Beso]

So what am i then...i only go for women cause im a straight male...

Looks mean nothing to me, i always go on personality first and its the first head turner for me.
.so what am i classed as?

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Okay so I'm wrong on the asexuals thing. But asexuals and "pansexuals" are different. So...
Like TS said, I don't really get what you mean by "attraction to gender". I'm generally willing to date either gender, and the two criteria are a)what do they look like b)what's their personality like. What their gender is doesn't come into it. If they have big (biological feature) then score! But it's not a deal breaker.

Well do you understand why you were wrong about asexuals?

They are not sexually attracted to either gender
Pansexuals are not sexually attracted to either gender
Bisexuals are sexually attracted to both genders

Which of those three sentences are confusing to you (genuine question) im aware this may come off bitchy, not my intention promise! Just stuck on where we’re at now.

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Withano

Well do you understand why you were wrong about asexuals?

They are not sexually attracted to either gender
Pansexuals are not sexually attracted to either gender
Bisexuals are sexually attracted to both genders

Which of those three sentences are confusing to you (genuine question) im aware this may come off bitchy, not my intention promise! Just stuck on where we’re at now.

I don't find it confusing, I just don't see how you can say "pansexuals" are not attracted to either gender, when they are attracted to both.

[Withano]

Originally Posted by parmnion

So what am i then...i only go for women cause im a straight male...

Looks mean nothing to me, i always go on personality first and its the first head turner for me.
.so what am i classed as?

Either heterosexual or demisexual, not enough info there for me to determine the answer for you... but really whatever you want to identify as. It really shouldnt matter too much to anybody but you.

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

I don't find it confusing, I just don't see how you can say "pansexuals" are not attracted to either gender, when they are attracted to both.

They are not sexually attracted to gender in the exact same way that asexuals are not sexually attracted to gender, and unlike bisexuals who are sexually attracted to gender.

Attraction is different to sexual attraction, and thats why all three of those groups can date both genders whilst all having three different sexualities.

[Beso]

Originally Posted by Withano

Either heterosexual or demisexual, not enough info there for me to determine the answer for you... but really whatever you want to identify as. It really shouldnt matter too much to anybody but you.

Im identifying as gay today, with a touch of bi...tomorrow maybe lesbian

[Withano]

Originally Posted by parmnion

Im identifying as gay today, with a touch of bi...tomorrow maybe lesbian

Hot

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Withano

Wrong. Asexual people date. Some date exclusively males, some date exclusively females, some date both. All have zero sexual interest in the people they are dating.

I was wrong all along, this was the hurdle you couldnt jump over

Pointing out that there are straight, homosexual and bisexual variations within asexuality is actually an argument against your general view that attraction for most individuals is "about gender / gender related features". Unless you're trying to completely separate the concepts of romantic attraction and sexual desire... which would be pretty out there, and fundamentally flawed, given that if it were the case there would be far more examples of people being romantically attracted to one gender whilst sexually attracted to the other?

[Beso]

I get a hard on on the bus sometimes with its vibrations so perhaps the male member isnt all that bothered..and lets face it, he gets the final say.

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Pointing out that there are straight, homosexual and bisexual variations within asexuality is actually an argument against your general view that attraction for most individuals is "about gender / gender related features". Unless you're trying to completely separate the concepts of romantic attraction and sexual desire... which would be pretty out there, and fundamentally flawed, given that if it were the case there would be far more examples of people being romantically attracted to one gender whilst sexually attracted to the other?

Well romantic attraction is different to sexual attraction too, yes.

I’d be very interested in a debate on the last half of that paragraph on a different day.

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Withano

They are not sexually attracted to gender in the exact same way that asexuals are not sexually attracted to gender, and unlike bisexuals who are sexually attracted to gender.

Maybe the keystone here is "attracted to gender" - what exactly do you mean by that? That exact turn of phrase is one I've not heard before. Like I said before, what gender someone is doesn't factor into my attraction toward them, sexual or otherwise.

Originally Posted by parmnion

I get a hard on on the bus sometimes with its vibrations so perhaps the male member isnt all that bothered..and lets face it, he gets the final say.

If it was on an airplane, you'd be PanAirSexual

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Maybe the keystone here is "attracted to gender" - what exactly do you mean by that? That exact turn of phrase is one I've not heard before. Like I said before, what gender someone is doesn't factor into my attraction toward them, sexual or otherwise.

Sexual arousal by people because they are a gender that a person is sexually aroused by? Thats probably wordier than it needs to be

If you acknowledge that asexuals are not sexually interested in gender, then it shouldnt be too difficult to believe that nor are pansexual people?

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by parmnion

I get a hard on on the bus sometimes with its vibrations so perhaps the male member isnt all that bothered..and lets face it, he gets the final say.

'Bussy' just got a whole new meaning.

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Withano

Sexual arousal by people because they are a gender that a person is sexually aroused by? Thats probably wordier than it needs to be

If you acknowledge that asexuals are not sexually interested in gender, then it shouldnt be too difficult to believe that nor are pansexual people?

But if someone's "pan", they can be aroused by both genders, making them bi? All I'm hearing is "bisexuals are attracted to both genders, pan people don't care about gender", which pretty much amount to the same thing?

I was under the impression ace people who wanted to date others could loosely fall under heteroromantic, homoromantic, or biromantic? So while they might not have actively wanted sex, they might want to have a sexless relationship with someone of a certain gender?

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

But if someone's "pan", they can be aroused by both genders, making them bi? All I'm hearing is "bisexuals are attracted to both genders, pan people don't care about gender", which pretty much amount to the same thing?

I was under the impression ace people who wanted to date others could loosely fall under heteroromantic, homoromantic, or biromantic? So while they might not have actively wanted sex, they might want to have a sexless relationship with someone of a certain gender?

But then again, sexual attraction and attraction are still very different. And thats the difference in these sexualities.

Sexual attraction to gender A=NO, P=NO, B=YES
Sexual attraction to personality A=NO, P=YES, B=YES

All could date men and women, but it is those small differences that make their sexuality different to one another, even though, they might all date both bob and carole

[Ant.]

Originally Posted by Ashley.

'Bussy' just got a whole new meaning.

[Oliver_W]

Bus Cup?

Originally Posted by Withano

But then again, sexual attraction and attraction are still very different. And thats the difference in these sexualities.

Sexual attraction to gender A=NO, P=NO, B=YES
Sexual attraction to personality A=NO, P=YES, B=YES

All could date men and women, but it is those small differences that make their sexual attraction to different to one another, even though, they might all date both bob and carole

Can you tell me what your understanding of "sexual attraction" and "attraction" are? Can they both lead to a relationship? If so, why do they need to be separated?

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Bus Cup?


Can you tell me what your understanding of "sexual attraction" and "attraction" are? Can they both lead to a relationship? If so, why do they need to be separated?

I guess putting it bluntly, one is pleasant/appealing, the other is hot/arousing

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Withano

But then again, sexual attraction and attraction are still very different. And thats the difference in these sexualities.

Sexual attraction to gender A=NO, P=NO, B=YES
Sexual attraction to personality A=NO, P=YES, B=YES

All could date men and women, but it is those small differences that make their sexuality different to one another, even though, they might all date both bob and carole

Honestly think I peaked here though, I’m done for the night. That is what pansexuality means. Attraction to personality, not gender, and not both. If someone had a sexual attraction to both gender and persona, they’d be bi, if they had a sexual attraction towards neither personality nor gender, they’d be ace. All three groups do, sometimes, date both genders at different times. That doesnt make them all bi.

Dezzy’s question was is pansexuality possible. I think yes.

[Beso]

Originally Posted by Withano

Honestly think I peaked here though, I’m done for the night. That is what pansexuality means. Attraction to personality, not gender, and not both. If someone had a sexual attraction to both gender and persona, they’d be bi, if they had a sexual attraction towards neither personality nor gender, they’d be ace. All three groups do, sometimes, date both genders at different times. That doesnt make them all bi.

Dezzy’s question was is pansexuality possible. I think yes.

Only if its kept in its trousers.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Withano

Honestly think I peaked here though, I’m done for the night. That is what pansexuality means. Attraction to personality, not gender, and not both. If someone had a sexual attraction to both gender and persona, they’d be bi, if they had a sexual attraction towards neither personality nor gender, they’d be ace. All three groups do, sometimes, date both genders at different times. That doesnt make them all bi.

Dezzy’s question was is pansexuality possible. I think yes.

But you're boiling down the concept of sexual attraction - a nuanced area of psychology still under constant research, rife with debate, and absolutely FULL of individual differences - to something very basic and black-and-white that I'm pretty sure doesn't apply "in stock form" to the sexual psychology of ANY individual or at least, not to any individual who has adequately explored their sexuality in any meaningful way rather than defining it on Wikipedia.