[user104658]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Being bisexual comes with it's own problems, especially if you're a man since a lot of people will think male bisexuals are gay people in denial.

I think this is potentially because there is an idea that female sexuality is generally more fluid so people "believe in" female bisexuals, whereas they think male bisexuality is a myth and therefore any male claiming to be bisexual is a half-in-the-closet gay man.

I personally don't think those huge differences between male and female sexuality actually exist, though, as the fluidity of female sexuality is much less than it seems; there are many females who will engage in heavy flirting / petting and even sexual activity with other females but purely "for fun" and would not have any meaningful relationship beyond that with another female, and IMO those individuals are still effectively heterosexual. Whereas heterosexual males would be far less likely to do so, probably for mainly social-psych reasons (it was MUCH more common in earlier civilisations, for example).

Originally Posted by kirklancaster

Don't get me wrong though, if someone wants to label themselves as 'Pansexual' I'm all for it - it isn't harming or affecting me in any way.

I'm kind of reaching the conclusion that what "pansexual" basically is, is a dating indicator or "flag". It's a quick and simple way for someone on the dating scene to tell others that they are bisexuals who are open to relationships with transsexuals and those who consider themselves to be "neither". In that useage, its totally fine, maybe it even IS required because its a bit distasteful, I suppose, to have to add "trans is fine" to your profile?

However it seems like it's utility ends there and therefore, it's basically jargon; only relevant to certain people, and only at a certain time in their lives. Which is totally fine... However... Expecting everyone else in society to "keep up with" the latest terms and their meanings, and use them accurately (when it seems like there isn't even a full concensus on the right usage) is an unreasonable request and a pointless one... Because its completely irrelevant information to anyone else, as it should be.

Like... Of the friends I've kept since school, quite a close group of three of us, two of us are straight and married and one is gay, and will soon be married. But I don't even think of it in those terms? At this point we're just three people with life partners . I don't meet up with them and think "AHA! Here he is, my good homosexual friend!"

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I think this is potentially because there is an idea that female sexuality is generally more fluid so people "believe in" female bisexuals, whereas they think male bisexuality is a myth and therefore any male claiming to be bisexual is a half-in-the-closet gay man.

I personally don't think those huge differences between male and female sexuality actually exist, though, as the fluidity of female sexuality is much less than it seems; there are many females who will engage in heavy flirting / petting and even sexual activity with other females but purely "for fun" and would not have any meaningful relationship beyond that with another female, and IMO those individuals are still effectively heterosexual. Whereas heterosexual males would be far less likely to do so, probably for mainly social-psych reasons.




I'm kind of reaching the conclusion that what "pansexual" basically is, is a dating indicator or "flag". It's a quick and simple way for someone on the dating scene to tell others that they are bisexuals who are open to relationships with transsexuals and those who consider themselves to be "neither". In that useage, its totally fine, maybe it even IS required because its a bit distasteful, I suppose, to have to add "trans is fine" to your profile?

However it seems like it's utility ends there and therefore, it's basically jargon; only relevant to certain people, and only at a certain time in their lives. Which is totally fine... However... Expecting everyone else in society to "keep up with" the latest terms and their meanings, and use them accurately (when it seems like there isn't even a full concensus on the right usage) is an unreasonable request and a pointless one... Because its completely irrelevant information to anyone else, as it should be.

Like... Of the friends I've kept since school, quite a close group of three of us, two of us are straight and married and one is gay, and will soon be married. But I don't even think of it in those terms? At this point we're just three people with life partners . I don't meet up with them and think "AHA! Here he is, my good homosexual friend!"

Another great post, T.S - you really do have an insight into this type of stuff and even I can follow what you are saying.