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Marsh. · 05-06-2018, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

And can I just add, and in no way of a dig, that if forum member Dezzy was not a mod I would wager, and I think many others would, he would be infracted and banned as frequently as me, Kirk, brillo or Marsh is. So I would not take too much of the moral high ground Dezzy - there is no other Mod who would come close - that is not because you are a bad person but its to do with the fact when you get angry at a differing opinion you cant help but get personal and or condescending (i like to do this too, it makes me feel better) . Its just who you are but dont think that you are somehow immune to the faults you find in others and highlight in threads like this. I still love you but as the forum Dad I am just telling you how it is. x

So this isn't so much an issue with the infraction/banning system, but more a personal issue with Dezzy?

By which I'd say, act like a grown up and just avoid each other?

Tom4784 · 05-06-2018, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsh.

I also don't think this would change anything.

If it was in the public forum that Member A was banned because of a build up of infractions and it was seen that their last infraction was for "baiting" people are still going to have the conspiracy theories that it's come from mod bias who don't like the political view (or whatever) of that particular member so have made up an excuse to have them banned.

It really won't change anything.

I think that's also a real possibility too tbh.

I'd be all for trying it but, as I said earlier in the thread. I think some people would still hold on to grudges even if the facts said otherwise.

arista · 05-06-2018, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

I think it would be a bad idea.

I can imagine if certain people saw somebody they dislike had say 3 open infractions they would try to bait them into an argument.

Yes
Some Good Points , Amy.

Tom4784 · 05-06-2018, 02:47 PM

I've noticed that we've been veering close to an argument in the thread at points. I've left this thread unmoderated but if it turns into a screaming match it'll be closed and the discussion is over so let's keep it peaceful.

arista · 05-06-2018, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dezzy

I've noticed that we've been veering close to an argument in the thread at points. I've left this thread unmoderated but if it turns into a screaming match it'll be closed and the discussion is over so let's keep it peaceful.

Good Points

Withano · 05-06-2018, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie

It was the use of the word Mods plural Dezzy

Basically just admitting to group bullying an individual here cherie. Not the smartest move. Although. Yeh. Obviously. Just bit unusual to see somebody admit it. Fair play.

Withano · 05-06-2018, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

Haven't you noticed that's how you get your way on this forum? It's become very apparent to me in the last few months.

99% of the forum are happy with how the forum is run fundamentally and accept the odd infraction for perhaps over stepping the mark but the vocal few aren't happy so now we have to change things? We aren't meant to discuss infractions but there is going to be a thread pointing everyones out? I agree with Withano, it is bound to cause trouble.

Yeh seems like that to me too

Cherie · 05-06-2018, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Withano

Basically just admitting to group bullying an individual here cherie. Not the smartest move. Although. Yeh. Obviously. Just bit unusual to see somebody admit it. Fair play.

Can I have some of whatever you are smoking

Withano · 05-06-2018, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie

Can I have some of whatever you are smoking

You took issue with the word mods being plural instead of singular, Cherie... baiting and bullying aside, what was you hoping to achieve there?

Crimson Dynamo · 05-06-2018, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dezzy

I've noticed that we've been veering close to an argument in the thread at points. I've left this thread unmoderated but if it turns into a screaming match it'll be closed and the discussion is over so let's keep it peaceful.

So essentially whenever it gets a little too close to home for comfort you pull the rip cord and all is well again?

semper eadem...

semper eadem

Marsh. · 05-06-2018, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

So essentially whenever it gets a little too close to home for comfort you pull the rip cord and all is well again?

semper eadem...

semper eadem

Close to home for comfort = personal insults?

Cherie · 05-06-2018, 04:01 PM

I had to google semper eadem as I am not old enough to have been taught in Latin

Withano · 05-06-2018, 04:03 PM

At least three people who are in favour of this idea have baited inside of this thread.

I think I found the issue. People aren't realising how often, or even when, they are doing it.

chuff me dizzy · 05-06-2018, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Withano

Well, you’re not really the worst offender of this (top 10 perhaps, but there are far worse), people like to lay in to the mods quite regularly, and unfortunately, most of the others in that top 10 are quite friendly with each other, so I think it will just amount to group fights, which is just ugly.

I don't see how making mods’ decisions public will limit that... i mean, it definitely will not, I guess that’s not Dezzy’s point.

I think Dezzy wants to do it so that he can point out the facts when people inevitably kick up a fuss... I think he shouldn’t because it will encourage people to angrily kick up a fuss more regularly, making the entire excercise kinda counterintuitive.

I guess my issue is not quite believing the bit I’ve bolded. And if it is actually true of you, it would not be true of several others, who would misuse this new system as a way to vent anger at the mods and believe that they’re justified in doing it.

I have seen people complain about ONE mod and ONE mod only

Maru · 05-06-2018, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Now this is a good example of baiting so everyone listen up. Telling someone that they are on your ignore list is considered baiting because it serves no purpose other than to draw a reaction from them. If someone is on your ignore list, continue to ignore them or choose to respond to their posts in a way that isn't baiting.

Telling someone that they are being ignored is baiting and will likely net you a few infractions if you do it enough.

Dezzy, this is my thought... I think what words we choose have a major impact. Many of your suggestive posts (like how we can make peace) can be easily misconstrued as instead confrontational by your heavy reliance of the royal /you/. If the comment is general, then "you" shouldn't be used so liberally as it can easily be misconstrued as personal, whereas our intentions come off much clearer when we use the words specific to that context... moreover, if the intent is to be personal or pointed, that would also be clearer as well with the correct usage of you...

Then they would know you are being serious and delivering a statement to their behavior.

An example of where this really doesn't work... if "you" is lumped with "sorry" or other words that are meant to have a conciliatory tone in the same sentence, it can give the impression of the opposite, rather than inferring the sense of open-ness or genuine thought that we mean to convey.

I used to have a major issue with this with my writing for a long time and changing this pushed my writing and I've been much more successful in conveying the right tone. I think it also forces me to the use more specific terms, sentence structures... so not only a little bit more flavor to writing, but those thoughts are made much clearer than a post of peppered yous that can misdirect or mask the intention of my words...

The other issue, I think... if someone makes a suggestion... don't always shoot someone down so quickly. I think that you have been much better with this in general and I feel you've made real efforts here. We are human beings and prone to bad days, so I always think why talk down to someone in that position and make them feel even worse. I'm sure it makes your biggest fans very happy when their specific people are knocked a peg... but obviously that makes enemies even quicker when we are in a power position if we pick on their friends... I have been through a bad witch hunt myself, with calls and threats to my home among other nasty things and have the emotional scars to prove it... so I understand how it feels to find yourself in this position constantly and not know what to do to change it... my only thought, I just think that we already have very little control over how people receive some of our thoughts... why make it even easier for them to distort our intentions and claim they can mind read. I don't think change your heart... but maybe think about if some of your wording can be bullet-proofed so that you yourself don't have to wonder if you made a mistake someplace... then their misreading is really a separate issue.

Quote:

THE ROYAL WE: The first person plural used by a person with supreme authority, or, in modern times, sometimes to preserve anonymity. Supposedly, the first king to use ‘we’ in this way was Richard I in the Charter to Winchester (1190). “We are not amused” is a rebuke often attributed to straightlaced Queen Victoria. In the 20th century, magazines and newspapers frequently use the ‘editorial we’ to express an opinion that may in fact be shared by no one but the writer. Lisa Alther expressed an opinion about that in her novel ‘Kinflicks’ (1979): “She had learnt . . . that it is impossible to discuss issues civilly with a person who insisted on referring to himself as ‘we.’’ (Facts on File Dictionary of Clichés)
___________________

One of the reasons, I think, ‘you’ might not hear to much about the ‘royal you’ is that it is almost impossible to distinguish it from the personal you. If a commander says to a group of soldiers ‘YOU must go forth and give it your all,’ who can tell if he means the individual soldier, the singular ‘you,’ or the group plural ‘you.’ Maybe the southerners in the U.S. solved this problem with the invention of ‘you-all’ and some of my less literate N.Y.C. buddies with ‘youse.’ (<

Haha, "y'all"

Another word I used to overuse as well (in place of royal you)... but I've cut that fat as well...

thesheriff443 · 05-06-2018, 06:28 PM

Dezzy you should not be modding a thread that you are posting in!
This is is whe the mod system loses credibility.

It's playing judge and jury, dezzy you are member first and a mod second, and this is what's causing so much grief.

Every one is sick of the double standards.

And mods talking about this thread in the towers where no members can see what's being said! And mods wonder why members are up in arms.

chuff me dizzy · 05-06-2018, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

Dezzy you should not be modding a thread that you are posting in!
This is is whe the mod system loses credibility.

It's playing judge and jury, dezzy you are member first and a mod second, and this is what's causing so much grief.

Every one is sick of the double standards.

And mods talking about this thread in the towers where no members can see what's being said! And mods wonder why members are up in arms.

Excellent and ALL true ,time for a shake up in here

Marsh. · 05-06-2018, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

I have seen people complain about ONE mod and ONE mod only

Sounds like clique behaviour and bullying.

Jordan. · 05-06-2018, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

Dezzy you should not be modding a thread that you are posting in!
This is is whe the mod system loses credibility.

It's playing judge and jury, dezzy you are member first and a mod second, and this is what's causing so much grief.

Every one is sick of the double standards.

And mods talking about this thread in the towers where no members can see what's being said! And mods wonder why members are up in arms.

Dezzy stop posting in this thread, Dezzy stop posting in the mod section. Just log out tbh

Greg! · 05-06-2018, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsh.

Sounds like clique behaviour and bullying.

It does a tad.

Withano · 05-06-2018, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

And mods talking about this thread in the towers where no members can see what's being said! And mods wonder why members are up in arms.

Members arent up in arms lol. There is a group of 10-15 who have got themselves a reputation of constantly complaining about the forum mods and the system... some continue and try to make out that it is a feeling across the board. This isn’t true.

The majority of the forum disagree with the very vocal minority, the minortiy are just unusually unaware of this.