[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

well I used the chat thread loosely, as in you are using SD loosely, I don't find SD hostile, I haven't seen any member make a leaving thread after venturing in there so there is obviously hostility in other areas of the forum that are not being flagged up because its just so easy to drag SD, honestly at this stage I think I am going to petition for it's closure, its members get abused regularly even in the lovey dovey ML write up threads

Well then feel free to complain about that part of the forum but the fact that you don't even know which section of the forum your ire should be directed at speaks volumes tbh.

You assuming it's the chat thread holds no water.

I'm discussing MY experiences posting in SD and why I believe it had the atmosphere and reputation it has. You seem to be trying to shift focus to the chat thread specifically but not through any experience but through assumptions you're making on leaving threads.

The only one I recall recently was BBUK-FAN and I rarely see him in private chat. He tends to be in the BB/TV show sections from what I've seen.

[Nicky91]

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

Well then feel free to complain about that part of the forum but the fact that you don't even know which section of the forum your ire should be directed at speaks volumes tbh.

You assuming it's the chat thread holds no water.

I'm discussing MY experiences posting in SD and why I believe it had the atmosphere and reputation it has. You seem to be trying to shift focus to the chat thread specifically but not through any experience but through assumptions you're making on leaving threads.

The only one I recall recently was BBUK-FAN and I rarely see him in private chat. He tends to be in the BB/TV show sections from what I've seen.

Jordi also made a thread ...I don’t know why you are trying to paint the chat thread as whiter than white when you know its not, but okay SD are devils, chat thread is full of angels ..I get it

[Nicky91]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Jordi also made a thread ...I don’t know why you are trying to paint the chat thread as whiter than white when you know its not, but okay SD are devils, chat thread is full of angels ..I get it

i tried giving SD a chance tbh, i know i'm definitely not perfect on there


i prefer any other subforum and the chat thread tbh



i just gave SD a chance because i wanted to at least try to show my more serious side

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Jordi also made a thread ...I don’t know why you are trying to paint the chat thread as whiter than white when you know its not, but okay SD are devils, chat thread is full of angels ..I get it

Who said that?

You brought the chat thread into the discussion and then backtracked saying you don't actually know you're making assumptions based on thinking if someone doesn't post in SD they just post in the chat thread.

I'm not claiming it's whiter than white I'm just not discussing an issue you've plucked out of thin air.

If you have something relevant to what we're discussing and the chat thread being unwelcoming then fair enough we will discuss it. But all you've offered is that you don't go into the thread often and you presume things about forum members who aren't SD regulars.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Nicky91

i tried giving SD a chance tbh, i know i'm definitely not perfect on there


i prefer any other subforum and the chat thread tbh



i just gave SD a chance because i wanted to at least try to show my more serious side

great post Nicky

good attitude and not attacking anyone

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Name and shame the dastardly cads

God complex springs to mind.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

Who said that?

You brought the chat thread into the discussion and then backtracked saying you don't actually know you're making assumptions based on thinking if someone doesn't post in SD they just post in the chat thread.

I'm not claiming it's whiter than white I'm just not discussing an issue you've plucked out of thin air.

If you have something relevant to what we're discussing and the chat thread being unwelcoming then fair enough we will discuss it. But all you've offered is that you don't go into the thread often and you presume things about forum members who aren't SD regulars.

so the chat thread can't be mentioned but SD can be dragged every which way, I didn't know this!

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Nicky91

i tried giving SD a chance tbh, i know i'm definitely not perfect on there


i prefer any other subforum and the chat thread tbh



i just gave SD a chance because i wanted to at least try to show my more serious side

No body is perfect Nicky, not even me

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Ashley.

God complex springs to mind.

and insulting members is what complex?

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Literally everytime something happens on the forum SD is mocked and brought into it, for no apparent reason, I don't think Maru meant it but she did this thread a disservice by mentioning SD in the poll and yes it was probably in fun, but it immediately created a divisive nature to the thread, honestly its getting so draining every time...the knitting club which was originally used by a member as a derogatory reference to anyone over 30 and was taken up by those members over 30 as a bit of a laugh is now being used as a stick to batter people which, as if there is a knitting club, as if LT has a gang .....

I get that. I didn't take this request so seriously. I understand what you're saying, Cherie, but just to respond because you touch on valid points, though I see things a little differently.

This community takes itself way too seriously overall. So it's no wonder people are so easily trolled, because there's always a nerve within reach. I have been away more often as of late, for a variety of reasons. It seems like when I return, there has been some new drama unfolding... usually forum politics and some infighting or new controversy. This is very unattractive for the site's more casual membership imo.

I figured the LGBT suggestion, at best if it were even to be implemented in an enlightened way might provide some additional steam to the site. Not for eternity if BB were to be cancelled, but provide more reasons to interactive during off-season. Maybe even release some tension and give current users extra incentives for them to post beyond the debate variety. As it is, activity is dropping. I'm personally finding less and less reasons to keep coming here myself, as the energy here has become very incestuous and uninviting. A lot of discussions have become cyclical, even to the point of being over-contrived at points and many of those "discoveries" that can be derived from these conversations are often tedious to get to...

I don't think the blame necessarily sits at the foot of the community or even admin, per say. Sure, some negative interactions and mantras that prevail in TiBB have added essential fuel to those fires and so we see those upsets over and over again. However, I think it's because those individuals impacts are so easily felt now with the reduced activity and the frequency in which certain oil&water individuals are finding themselves interacting has also increased, therefore leading to more clashing of egos and infighting. So there's really no break from that with that in the fore for the more casual users and it adds up to being a more acidic environment overall. There are still folk who are energized enough to occupy that space, but I think that that energy alone is not enough to maintain that space...

I think that SD is where most of these conversations "boil over", but it's not necessarily the sub itself that is at fault. It's become the butt ugly duckling of the forum, easy to pick on, but I don't take that to mean it's a bad sub as it has a ton of character... but it's probably more that there's nothing to equalize the pressures there or even to bring older (or established) members out of their shell into other sections. I don't think anyone wants the forum to feel segregated, but that is what it feels like currently atm...

Obviously, politics has effected most of everyday life in a big way, and coupled with these oil&water reactions, the temperament of the forum is goign to be tedious and hostile at times. Intellectually I may realize this is not necessarily the intention of most people who post on here or even those who respond negatively to most opposition.. but emotionally, it becomes draining to post in sections that center around these types of oil&water interactions and it leads to me disengaging anyway because I can't see the worth of engaging in those discussions when I know it will only add further to my aggravation.

A relationship/LGBT/culture-type section I figured would allow posts that don't fit into the category a little more time to marinate and the forum added depth. Especially in areas where cold hard facts are not necessarily "King", i.e. areas surrounding emotional intelligence, self-perception and cultural differences. We are missing that side of the forum in SD by watering down these life discussions (mainly our differences) to just "debates". Jamie, for example, an excellent member in this regard. He shines in on-season when these discussions emerge, but during off-season, there's only so much of that kind of discussion that SD is meant to and capable of facilitating... and again, it's not because it's a bad sub. It's because that sub is non-habitable place for those kinds of emotional topics imo. Just too serious for anything meaningful to marinate when facts versus opinion types rule in that sub. Which is fine, as SD serves the purpose for working out our hardlines on things... but that's not what this other section should be for.

Anyway, I've stopped visiting as much as of late and I think it may be because I'm losing steam. I'm never looking forward to opening the site in the mornings after having left my thoughts on the table, especially on terse topics, since by then it's past the TiBB morning rush and is usually when the more awkward responses appear in threads, i.e. the sniping etc. So I don't know what the "spirit" of that discussion will be when I check in the morning. So I've noticed more and more mornings I am just bypassing that ritual entirely and I have been further seperating myself from this place. To sum up my feelings in the best way possible, there always seems to be someone nitpicking over something, unhappy or otherwise causing some sort of drama. The other parts of the site are too low-brow (I'm looking at you GenChat) or far too idle to be worth the effort. With BB leanings more towards falling onto the backburner, there's the loss of the on-season ritual... probably at this point, it's the people whose posts I enjoy most reading and friendships I have here that keep me returning... but even those folk are going more idle. Maybe that's how it is, the way things things should go down and are ultimately meant to be... but I did feel I saw an opportunity for community growth and a way to increase engagement, so I made the suggestion. It doesn't have to be taken up... I wouldn't even blame the admin if they close this thread if they want to end a "divisive" conversation... but I do think it's a tepid peace in the long-run.

Anyway, Cherie, thank you for your thoughts. This was not meant to be a rebuttal or anything, but your post led to a braindump... I have my views, like all the other members, but mine is not the only one. Life continues on...

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Nicky91

i tried giving SD a chance tbh, i know i'm definitely not perfect on there


i prefer any other subforum and the chat thread tbh



i just gave SD a chance because i wanted to at least try to show my more serious side

The irony, Nicky, is to survive SD, you must learn to not take things so seriously.. ... is my thought. None of us all-seeing, so we can only go with what we have seen, heard and experienced... a lot of things contribute to how we think and feel, and as long as you are able to 'articulate' that well (in your own eyes), then you would fit in fine as an SD poster in my view. We all struggle with our sources of disillusionment...

[chuff me dizzy]

Right my opinion .......... Ive been here many years ,and like lots of others I joined this forum to talk about what it is for BIG BROTHER .. Over the last couple of years several people have tried to turn a TV SHOW site into a filth site, and the number of original decent members has plummeted ,if this site is allowed to sink deeper into filth talk the remaining old members will also leave ,thats for sure.
Im sure there are plenty of smut sites available for people to talk in a way that is abhorrent to countless others, Im sure Google would dig some up ,So my opinion is keep TIBB ( THIS IS BIG BROTHER )to what it was set up for and let the filth talk go elsewhere

[smudgie]

It wouldn’t matter to me in the bigger picture, but I have to say, I have learned a lot about life since joining TIBB.
SD can look more hostile than it really is, but a lot of it is just banter.
I really struggled when I saw the banter in other threads as I never knew if it was banter or true.
We all have the choice to make a thread on any given subject, so maybe just make more threads rather than needing new sub forums

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

so the chat thread can't be mentioned but SD can be dragged every which way, I didn't know this!

I didn't say that Cherie. Instead of picking out little bits read what I said in context.

You brought the chat thread into the discussion therefore it is down to you to explain how the chat thread fits into what's being discussed.

As it happened, you couldn't because your made baseless assumptions about "people who leave the forum but don't post in SD must somehow come from the chat thread and the chat thread hasn't made them welcome".

Nothing to do with the chat thread being whiter than white but you bringing the chat thread into this discussion based on nothing.

Like I said, any experience or example of the chat thread being in anyway like my experience of SD and I'm all ears.

You can't just say "But the chat thread is the same because people make leaving threads and they haven't been in SD therefore they come from the chat thread". Do you see?

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Maru

I get that. I didn't take this request so seriously. I understand what you're saying, Cherie, but just to respond because you touch on valid points, though I see things a little differently.

This community takes itself way too seriously overall. So it's no wonder people are so easily trolled, because there's always a nerve within reach. I have been away more often as of late, for a variety of reasons. It seems like when I return, there has been some new drama unfolding... usually forum politics and some infighting or new controversy. This is very unattractive for the site's more casual membership imo.

I figured the LGBT suggestion, at best if it were even to be implemented in an enlightened way might provide some additional steam to the site. Not for eternity if BB were to be cancelled, but provide more reasons to interactive during off-season. Maybe even release some tension and give current users extra incentives for them to post beyond the debate variety. As it is, activity is dropping. I'm personally finding less and less reasons to keep coming here myself, as the energy here has become very incestuous and uninviting. A lot of discussions have become cyclical, even to the point of being over-contrived at points and many of those "discoveries" that can be derived from these conversations are often tedious to get to...

I don't think the blame necessarily sits at the foot of the community or even admin, per say. Sure, some negative interactions and mantras that prevail in TiBB have added essential fuel to those fires and so we see those upsets over and over again. However, I think it's because those individuals impacts are so easily felt now with the reduced activity and the frequency in which certain oil&water individuals are finding themselves interacting has also increased, therefore leading to more clashing of egos and infighting. So there's really no break from that with that in the fore for the more casual users and it adds up to being a more acidic environment overall. There are still folk who are energized enough to occupy that space, but I think that that energy alone is not enough to maintain that space...

I think that SD is where most of these conversations "boil over", but it's not necessarily the sub itself that is at fault. It's become the butt ugly duckling of the forum, easy to pick on, but I don't take that to mean it's a bad sub as it has a ton of character... but it's probably more that there's nothing to equalize the pressures there or even to bring older (or established) members out of their shell into other sections. I don't think anyone wants the forum to feel segregated, but that is what it feels like currently atm...

Obviously, politics has effected most of everyday life in a big way, and coupled with these oil&water reactions, the temperament of the forum is goign to be tedious and hostile at times. Intellectually I may realize this is not necessarily the intention of most people who post on here or even those who respond negatively to most opposition.. but emotionally, it becomes draining to post in sections that center around these types of oil&water interactions and it leads to me disengaging anyway because I can't see the worth of engaging in those discussions when I know it will only add further to my aggravation.

A relationship/LGBT/culture-type section I figured would allow posts that don't fit into the category a little more time to marinate and the forum added depth. Especially in areas where cold hard facts are not necessarily "King", i.e. areas surrounding emotional intelligence, self-perception and cultural differences. We are missing that side of the forum in SD by watering down these life discussions (mainly our differences) to just "debates". Jamie, for example, an excellent member in this regard. He shines in on-season when these discussions emerge, but during off-season, there's only so much of that kind of discussion that SD is meant to and capable of facilitating... and again, it's not because it's a bad sub. It's because that sub is non-habitable place for those kinds of emotional topics imo. Just too serious for anything meaningful to marinate when facts versus opinion types rule in that sub. Which is fine, as SD serves the purpose for working out our hardlines on things... but that's not what this other section should be for.

Anyway, I've stopped visiting as much as of late and I think it may be because I'm losing steam. I'm never looking forward to opening the site in the mornings after having left my thoughts on the table, especially on terse topics, since by then it's past the TiBB morning rush and is usually when the more awkward responses appear in threads, i.e. the sniping etc. So I don't know what the "spirit" of that discussion will be when I check in the morning. So I've noticed more and more mornings I am just bypassing that ritual entirely and I have been further seperating myself from this place. To sum up my feelings in the best way possible, there always seems to be someone nitpicking over something, unhappy or otherwise causing some sort of drama. The other parts of the site are too low-brow (I'm looking at you GenChat) or far too idle to be worth the effort. With BB leanings more towards falling onto the backburner, there's the loss of the on-season ritual... probably at this point, it's the people whose posts I enjoy most reading and friendships I have here that keep me returning... but even those folk are going more idle. Maybe that's how it is, the way things things should go down and are ultimately meant to be... but I did feel I saw an opportunity for community growth and a way to increase engagement, so I made the suggestion. It doesn't have to be taken up... I wouldn't even blame the admin if they close this thread if they want to end a "divisive" conversation... but I do think it's a tepid peace in the long-run.

Anyway, Cherie, thank you for your thoughts. This was not meant to be a rebuttal or anything, but your post led to a braindump... I have my views, like all the other members, but mine is not the only one. Life continues on...

Thanks Maru, you talk alot of sense and i agree we do take ourselves far too seriously!

[Amy Jade]

I think talking about sex and relationships is perfectly normal on the forum.

After all there has been sex on the very show we all joined to talk about.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

I didn't say that Cherie. Instead of picking out little bits read what I said in context.

You brought the chat thread into the discussion therefore it is down to you to explain how the chat thread fits into what's being discussed.

As it happened, you couldn't because your made baseless assumptions about "people who leave the forum but don't post in SD must somehow come from the chat thread and the chat thread hasn't made them welcome".

Nothing to do with the chat thread being whiter than white but you bringing the chat thread into this discussion based on nothing.

Like I said, any experience or example of the chat thread being in anyway like my experience of SD and I'm all ears.

You can't just say "But the chat thread is the same because people make leaving threads and they haven't been in SD therefore they come from the chat thread". Do you see?

So your experience of SD okay lets go with that then, who makes you feel uncomfortable because there is only a handful of posters on there now, and its getting less and less all the time but i guess that is welcome yes?

Me
Arista
Oliver W
LT
Vicky
Niamh
Dezzy
Alf
Parminon
BOTS
Kizzy
Maru
Brillo
Kirk
TS
Kazanne
Withano

semi regs

Smudgie
Northern Monkey
Nicky
Livia
MTVN
Adam
Sticks
Annie
2TS
Amy Jade
Chuff
Josy
Hijaxers
M21
Goldheart
Jonni
Marsh
Mock
Jack
Riley
Jaxie
Lime

if I have missed someone out I apologise, who has exhibited such hostility that you can't bring yourself to post ...I'm thinking Smudgie amirite?

[AnnieK]

Always forgotten me.
That's it, I'm leaving
You SD lot are mean

[Kazanne]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Always forgotten me.
That's it, I'm leaving
You SD lot are mean

you're going nowhere Annie

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Always forgotten me.
That's it, I'm leaving
You SD lot are mean

I forgot a few there are more KC members then you would think

[Cherie]

Look at that list of pussycats though

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

So your experience of SD okay lets go with that then, who makes you feel uncomfortable because there is only a handful of posters on there now, and its getting less and less all the time but i guess that is welcome yes?

Me
Arista
Oliver W
LT
Vicky
Niamh
Dezzy
Alf
Parminon
BOTS
Kizzy
Maru
Brillo
Kirk
TS
Kazanne

semi regs

Smudgie
Northern Monkey
Nicky
Livia
MTVN
Adam
Sticks
Annie


if I have missed someone out I apologise, who has exhibited such hostility that you can't bring yourself to post ...I'm thinking Smudgie amirite?

I haven't said any of that Cherie.
I didn't say anyone makes me feel uncomfortable, you're moving the goalposts.

We were discussing hostility in response to people partaking in discussions. I don't take any of it personally but I won't waste time in a discussion when I get nothing but pathetic off topic replies in response to it.

It basically becomes a "I don't normally agree or get along with that poster so they'll get a sh*try reply but I like this poster so they can have some unconstructive clapping smileys".

You are the one who took it upon yourself to get defensive over comments about people's experiences in certain sections but apparently your non existent experience in the chat thread is a valid response?

No Cherie. And I won't be baited into naming forum members and being accused of "insults to other members".

If all this boils down to you taking it personally because you feel I was referring to you, perhaps? Then rest easy, I wasn't.

[Cherie]

I keep having to edit the post, SD is thriving

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

I haven't said any of that Cherie.
I didn't say anyone makes me feel uncomfortable, you're moving the goalposts.

We were discussing hostility in response to people partaking in discussions. I don't take any of it personally but I won't waste time in a discussion when I get nothing but pathetic off topic replies in response to it.

It basically becomes a "I don't normally agree or get along with that poster so they'll get a sh*try reply but I like this poster so they can have some unconstructive clapping smileys".

You are the one who took it upon yourself to get defensive over comments about people's experiences in certain sections but apparently your non existent experience in the chat thread is a valid response?

No Cherie. And I won't be baited into naming forum members and being accused of "insults to other members".

If all this boils down to you taking it personally because you feel I was referring to you, perhaps? Then rest easy, I wasn't.

Has LT upset you, I will report him to Josy