[armand.kay]

Originally Posted by Redway

And I’m mixed. Nigerians joke about the beatings their mum gave them growing up. It’s actually all banter because none of them grew up in protected environments where the worst thing that could happen to them for calling their mum the c word was time out on the flipping naughty step.

but theres a difference between being a passive parent and being a parent who doesn't beat their children. You don't need to hit your children to get their respect. Like I said me and my siblings were never beaten but we would NEVER even dream of swearing in front of them because we respect them and not because we're afraid of getting beaten.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by armand.kay

but theres a difference between being a passive parent and being a parent who doesn't beat their children. You don't need to hit your children to get their respect. Like I said me and my siblings were never beaten but we would NEVER even dream of swearing in front of them because we respect them and not because we're afraid of getting beaten.

Exactly

[Redway]

Anyone who wants to get a flavour of West African parenting can check out these -

http://www.nairaland.com/4437023/wha...made-get-worst

http://www.nairaland.com/1933155/uni...ildren-parents

https://youtu.be/TpFVDWiQyiE

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0LNxLjrMO_8

https://youtu.be/33PXj32yEJo

http://www.academia.edu/4752310/THE_...ATE_OF_NIGERIA

Some of those videos are more done in banter but you get a taste. Not everyone comes from a culture where it’s alright to talk back to the people who gave you life and at worst have to go sit on some step for 8 minutes.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Redway

Nah. Nigerian/West African discipline is on a whole new scale. Not even in the tiniest bit comparable. Not even.

But that's what I'm saying ,every culture is different and some are more strict .

Chances are west African /Nigerian parents have had a rough life in those counties and alot of them will of worked hard and helped their family with every chore and cooked and cleaned and done everything , plus there's other hardship they've been through , and they come to the UK and they have that hard tough love that they give their kids as they probably come from poverty and they don't want their own kids to fail .

[GiRTh]

Originally Posted by Redway

West African/Indian and white British culture aren’t comparable in a lot of areas. Not least when it comes to raising kids.

That might sound funny but I just think it’s about time people of colour started calling certain things for what they are even if it doesn’t sound mega-PC. Different cultures and that.

Baffling stuff.

Please explain further.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by armand.kay

but theres a difference between being a passive parent and being a parent who doesn't beat their children. You don't need to hit your children to get their respect. Like I said me and my siblings were never beaten but we would NEVER even dream of swearing in front of them because we respect them and not because we're afraid of getting beaten.

Course you don’t need to hit your kids to get respect for. Them but is that the reality of it in Nigerian/Ghanaian homes for the most part?

[Redway]

Originally Posted by GiRTh

Baffling stuff.

Please explain further.

I’m glad your parents were soft with you but anyone who knows anything about Nigerian parents knows that’s not how it went down with those kids.

[Beso]

Originally Posted by Redway

Black mums as a rule hit their kids. There’s always exceptions but as a rule. It’s deeply rooted in culture.

Armand’s the only black guy on this thread anyway that I know of so that doesn’t count.

I don’t think people understand the differences in our cultures. Black parents don’t do naughty step.

Most Nigerians I know grew up without a step my friend.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Redway

Anyone who wants to get a flavour of West African parenting can check out these -

http://www.nairaland.com/4437023/wha...made-get-worst

http://www.nairaland.com/1933155/uni...ildren-parents

https://youtu.be/TpFVDWiQyiE

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0LNxLjrMO_8

Some of those videos are more done in banter but you get a taste. Not everyone comes from a culture where it’s alright to talk back to the people who gave you life and at worst have to go sit on some step for 8 minutes.

Sorry are you saying that if you don't hit your kids then it's fine for them to talk back to You? I've never done a naughty step either btw and Irish and English aren't the same culture or country

[GiRTh]

Originally Posted by Redway

I’m glad your parents were soft with you but anyone who knows anything about Nigerian parents knows that’s not how it went down with those kids.

Soft? Again, what are you talking about? You really need to explain your frame of reference!

[Redway]

No point dragging this out any further. If you know you know. I’m not having this conversation with white people.

[GiRTh]

Originally Posted by Redway

No point dragging this out any further. If you know you know.

I think we know enough.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by GiRTh

I think we know enough.

[armand.kay]

Originally Posted by Redway

I’m glad your parents were soft with you but anyone who knows anything about Nigerian parents knows that’s not how it went down with those kids.

I do get what you're saying; beating your children is in the culture but that doesn't necessarily mean its perfect and doesn't have its negatives too.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

It sounds more cultural what Redway is talking.

African parents have usually had a very tough life in their own country ,so when they come to the UK they have that strict discipline . Plus personality and their own experience will have an impact on their choices.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Redway

No point dragging this out any further. If you know you know. I’m not having this conversation with white people.

Omg you can't just tell people they're white!

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Redway

Course you don’t need to hit your kids to get respect for. Them but is that the reality of it in Nigerian/Ghanaian homes for the most part?

I honestly don't get your point. The debate isn't "Do some parents hit their kids" it's "SHOULD parents hit their kids" . Just because they do, doesn't mean they should... Your argument seems to be "Yeah but it's what happens!". OK. So what?

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Riley.

But try having your step-dad kick you in the balls as an 8-year-old because you told your mum that he brought her home flowers when it was meant to be a 'surprise'

Are you serious, Riley? This actually happened to you?

[Josy]

Of course parents should and are allowed to punish their own children its the type of punishments that will never be agreed on.

And theres some very sad/scary stories on this thread some I would say is child abuse and way beyond any punishment a child ever deserves :/

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Josy

Of course parents should and are allowed to punish their own children its the type of punishments that will never be agreed on.

And theres some very sad/scary stories on this thread some I would say is child abuse and way beyond any punishment a child ever deserves :/

My thoughts too. I am actually horrified by some revelations.

[thesheriff443]

Life for the most part is monkey see monkey do.
For me those kids that go around town constantly spitting should have a serious smack in the ear.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

If you're saying white people say it :/

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Omg you can't just tell people they're white!

?

[jaxie]

Yes of course parents must be able to punish children. How else can you teach them right from wrong. The question really is what method of punishment. I always felt that being creative with a punishment that fit the crime worked out best and generally taught that repeating the problem wasn't a good idea.

All smacking does is teach a child to hit people which doesn't solve anything.

As an example if you did something destructive in our house you might find yourself on the patio with a hose and rubber gloves cleaning out a slightly smelly bin. (A good one for a child who is a bit precious about dirt and smells). I'm also a firm believer in removing phones and laptops for a week or two. For something really bad? Cat litter week!