[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Obviously you will have a first impression but I will admit I'm not actually that good of a judge of character, it takes me a while to get a proper understanding of a person. I know this about myself so I do try to wait before I write someone off/think someone is amazing

...yeah I would say similar...although I wouldn’t say that I was a bad or a good judge of character, I don’t believe that any of us have any better first instincts ...but I do believe that any judgements on first instincts can actually be a barrier to seeing a ‘whole person’...we will always think we are ‘right and have good instincts’ because we’re only connecting with specific aspects of people that fit that, if that makes sense...?...waiting without judgement is the best mindset because everyone is flawed, we need to be open to seeing those flaws before we know whether we connect...

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...yeah I would say similar...although I wouldn’t say that I was a bad or a good judge of character, I don’t believe that any of us have any better first instincts ...but I do believe that any judgements on first instincts can actually be a barrier to seeing a ‘whole person’...we will always think we are ‘right and have good instincts’ because we’re only connecting with specific aspects of people that fit that, if that makes sense...?...waiting without judgement is the best mindset because everyone is flawed, we need to be open to seeing those flaws before we know whether we connect...

I've definitely in the past met people and thought "there's something I don't like about him/her" and it turns out they were the nicest people and on the other side I've really took to people and turned out they were assholes

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

on the other side I've really took to people and turned out they were assholes

Ahh there's nothing worse than feeling positively about someone and then all of a sudden they casually come out with something unforgivably sectarian/sexist/racist/homophobic and start chuckling away. Used to happen all the time with customers.

"Oh yeah, little Billy! Lovely chap, wouldn't say boo to a goose, so friendly..."
*from down the shop, Billy starts singing about killing Catholics*
"Oh ffs."

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Ahh there's nothing worse than feeling positively about someone and then all of a sudden they casually come out with something unforgivably sectarian/sexist/racist/homophobic and start chuckling away. Used to happen all the time with customers.

"Oh yeah, little Billy! Lovely chap, wouldn't say boo to a goose, so friendly..."
*from down the shop, Billy starts singing about killing Catholics*
"Oh ffs."

It's happened a few times, more that I thought people were nice but they were actually quite manipulative and I want to say fake but I don't even know if they were being fake, they could just switch really fast, if you know what I mean? (I'm thinking about a person irl here so don't want to go into too much detail) but have had a few similar type things with people like this irl

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

It's happened a few times, more that I thought people were nice but they were actually quite manipulative and I want to say fake but I don't even know if they were being fake, they could just switch really fast, if you know what I mean? (I'm thinking about a person irl here so don't want to go into too much detail) but have had a few similar type things with people like this irl

It's ok Niamh, I doubt your mother-in-law will read this.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

It's ok Niamh, I doubt your mother-in-law will read this.

aww I don't have a mother in law, I never met her, she died when Gav was a teenager

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

aww I don't have a mother in law, I never met her, she died when Gav was a teenager

Now I feel terrible.

[Ammi]

......(..I’m sure that she would have judged you wonderfully, had she known you..)...