[Candy Annie Cane]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...Kate.....I recall when you told us on the forum...when my dad passed, I felt for a long while, why couldn’t I have been with him, just to hold him or hold his hand...with grief, it’s so hard to see beyond times of sadness...but I knew a long time ago as well, that he wouldn’t have ever wanted anything any other way, than to pass In a few moments, while he was doing just an everyday, type thing...and when he knew that the people he loved, were just doing their everyday things as well and completely unaware of it being his final moments...it was all so ‘typically my dad’...and maybe for your mum as well, is how it would have been for her.....

I was with my mum when she passed, but my dad wasn't and I think she did that on purpose. My Dad had a heart attack years ago and from that moment on my mum shielded him from anything stressful and I think that her final act of shielding came when she passed. We had all sat in the hospice for days, dad was getting more upset but trying to stay strong. My brother and I finally convinced him to nip home and get a shower....five minutes after he left after a lot of persuasion my mum passed. I think she was fighting to stay strong until he left so he didn't have to witness it. He was devastated that he had not been there initially and quite angry at my and my brother for sending him home but when we said we think its what she wanted, he was more at peace with it.