[user104658]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Your friend saying that a possibility of sleeping with a transperson makes you pan rather than bi is a bit transphobic tbh. Transpeople are still male or female, they're not a whole other thing just because they identify as the sex they aren't.

I agree with that and this is where the whole thing falls apart really; if a heterosexual man is attracted to a fully transitioned transwoman (and to perhaps offensively cut to the chase here; someone who convincingly looks physically female) then they don't become bi/pan/whatever, they are still a heterosexual male. Isn't that... the whole point?

My honest opinion is that the term pansexual is somewhat moot since its about attraction and not personal identification. No matter how someone identifies, physically they are going to have male physical characteristics/female physical characteristics/a mix of the two and people are going to be physically attracted to one set of characteristics or the other, or both/don't care (bisexual). I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with the term pansexual, but I've never seen a convincing argument that bi/pan aren't simply synonymous and interchangeable... They just mean the same thing... That someone has no personal preference for male/female traits.

As a personal aside though, I honestly don't have huge amounts of time for people who make their sexy time preferences the cornerstone of their identity and personality. I mean... Each to their own but... I just don't care where you plonk your genitals or on whom... and surely most people have a lot more to them. An awful lot of time and energy goes into these definitions. Honestly I think maybe humanity is just existentially bored.

Someone's sexual desires and preferences should be entirely irrelevant to literally everyone but themself