[Vicky.]

Parm, not sure if thats fantasy or not but I 100% agree. **** relationships and all the drama that results from them.

[Swan]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Well I thought this too

And am sure everyone else did looking at the pair of us tbh. I mean, its nowt serious but..still.

You need to end this really. Also, you sound like you are trying to put her down because you are feeling bad about her lusting after this other guy too? Like the 'shes not attractive' stuff. This might make you feel better about the whole situation but thats kinda not healthy either? It makes me think that you aren't happy either. So basically, best way it to just let her continue in her fantasy that would be reality if he decided so..and you find someone more suited?

Maybe, but don't get me wrong i think she's absolutely gorgeous. Maybe it's more hope thinking he wouldn't go for her, i mean it is really. To me she's perfect. Im clutching at straws hoping that the real reason she is lusting is because she wants the hot guy to notice her, which she has told me herself in the past that's never happened, idk.
We would get on so well ya know, just be completely ourselves with each other, no airs or graces.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by parmnion

I've just remembered I'm being chased by a geordie lass, I hadnt spoken to her since my little sister brought her home one night years and years ago.

I did sleep with her older sister though and was married to her step sister for 12 years.

But she wants me. I however cant be arsed anymore with all the hassle of a new relationship, so I made it clear it would just be for sex, and would probably only be one time.

WHO SAID ROMANCE IS DEAD?

[Beso]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Parm, not sure if thats fantasy or not but I 100% agree. **** relationships and all the drama that results from them.

Its 100 percent true, shes from alnwick now but went to my school. She just rekindle her friendship with my sister after an abusive relationship.

I was a bit shocked to get a surprise call last Saturday night from the geordie accent girl.

I do remember her sister though, I was infatuated with her bit had to take a step back as she was getting married during our brief liaisons

Shes still happily married almost 35 years later to the same bloke.

[Vicky.]

I missed that you had not even met in real life

Definitely cut loose. And if you dont, dont whinge in a few months IF she ends up with him. Really. Its obviously what she wants, though thinks she will never get but would grab with both hands if there was a possibility. So on the offchance the possibility presents itself, protect yourself in advance.

Meanwhile for you to say shes gorgeous to you etc but others wouldnt think so makes me think you do not find her as gorgeous as you say you do but realise it doesnt look good to say...shes not a looker. I think I get where you are coming from but that bit kinda came off as..bitter.

I am in no position to give relationship advice right now (or maybe ever though) so I give honesty instead My own relationships are a slight ****show and I have given up on 'relationships' in general as really cant be arsed and friends with benefits situations seem the way forward Might suit you better. Maybe also, someone you can/have met in real life too? I mean, the other guy could be thinking the same..'omg we have something special but she will NOT stop talking to this other guy online!'

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by parmnion

Its 100 percent true, shes from alnwick now but went to my school. She just rekindle her friendship with my sister after an abusive relationship.

I was a bit shocked to get a surprise call last Saturday night from the geordie accent girl.

I do remember her sister though, I was infatuated with her bit had to take a step back as she was getting married during our brief liaisons

Shes still happily married almost 35 years later to the same bloke.

Sounds like the plot of some porno really.

As much as they have plots.

[Cherie]

Have you tried to meet or is she in a completely different part of the country, honestly she doesn't sound worth the hassle

[Swan]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

I missed that you had not even met in real life

Definitely cut loose. And if you dont, dont whinge in a few months IF she ends up with him. Really. Its obviously what she wants, though thinks she will never get but would grab with both hands if there was a possibility. So on the offchance the possibility presents itself, protect yourself in advance.

Meanwhile for you to say shes gorgeous to you etc but others wouldnt think so makes me think you do not find her as gorgeous as you say you do but realise it doesnt look good to say...shes not a looker. I think I get where you are coming from but that bit kinda came off as..bitter.

I am in no position to give relationship advice right now (or maybe ever though) so I give honesty instead My own relationships are a slight ****show and I have given up on 'relationships' in general as really cant be arsed and friends with benefits situations seem the way forward Might suit you better. Maybe also, someone you can/have met in real life too? I mean, the other guy could be thinking the same..'omg we have something special but she will NOT stop talking to this other guy online!'

Everything you say does make sense. What is your opinion on this "just dont forget i've always made it clear i dont want him in that way"

That was the last message she sent to me, yesterday.

Originally Posted by Cherie

Have you tried to meet or is she in a completely different part of the country, honestly she doesn't sound worth the hassle

Tbh yes, i was suppose to go early last month, she had brought a toothbrush, hand towel, crisps, drinks the lot in preparation, and i let her down. She says it's nothing to do with that, but subconsciously im sure it is. And then we planned early December but she's not as enthusiastic now, half because of him, half because i let her down last time probably.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Swan

Everything you say does make sense. What is your opinion on this "just dont forget i've always made it clear i dont want him in that way"

I think she might be kidding herself about that. Or she may be well aware that the only reason she says this is as she thinks he would never go for it. But if he did go for it, she would never say no. And I also think you know this.

[Swan]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

I think she might be kidding herself about that. Or she may be well aware that the only reason she says this is as she thinks he would never go for it. But if he did go for it, she would never say no.

Ok, harsh, but fair lol. Like i said, im don't want any hope if it isn't there, reality is best in the long run. Deep down i do yeah.

[Swan]

There is absolutely no point whatsoever in me messaging her is there?

[Vicky.]

Messaging her to say what? This depends.

Or do you mean, messaging her in general to continue whatever it is that you have? If its that, depends on your expectations.

[Swan]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Messaging her to say what? This depends.

Or do you mean, messaging her in general.

Well asking her to just be straight with me now as we are as good as over? And that i wont be mad, i just want closure.

I mean i could say what you've said, that if he did show interest would she go there?

Even though it hurts, i guess hearing her say it would give me some some sort of closure, and the tiny little bit of hope in my head that this will pass and she'll want me again will go and i'll have no choice but to move on.

[Vicky.]

Would it actually make you feel better for her to answer that though? I don't get the closure thing at all really, never have. I know it helps some people though, or they say it does! Seems a bit 'explain yourself and your actions/thoughts for no reason even though we are over!' to me though, and if you are actually over..and you say you know deep down she does want him, I dont see why its needed? Except to maybe make her feel guilty. Which helps nothing either.

[Swan]

Yesterday at 3:10pm - "i don't want him"

I know what you're saying is true Vicky, but it's so unfair that she says that kind of thing to me. It's so confusing, it's really messing with my head. It doesn't allow me to fully let go, maybe that's her plan? Me being the safety net?

[Swan]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Would it actually make you feel better for her to answer that though? I don't get the closure thing at all really, never have. I know it helps some people though, or they say it does! Seems a bit 'explain yourself and your actions/thoughts for no reason even though we are over!' to me though, and if you are actually over..and you say you know deep down she does want him, I dont see why its needed? Except to maybe make her feel guilty. Which helps nothing either.

I guess you're right tbh.

[Niamh.]

I think that really until you two meet in person you probably shouldn't consider yourselves exclusive anyway, until you know there's some chemistry between you, i don't think you can really know that in a romantic way until you've met the person

[Vicky.]

She could be saying that for loads of reasons. Maybe she is still in denial. Maybe she is using you as a safety net incase he never goes for it. Maybe she is being honest. IDK. Go with your gut. Best advice in most situations.

[Swan]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I think that really until you two meet in person you probably shouldn't consider yourselves exclusive anyway, until you know there's some chemistry between you, i don't think you can really know that in a romantic way until you've met the person

Yeah that's very true, i've always had my doubts. We are all sacred of being lonely i guess, and tbh she was probably my 'safety net' here and there (i never really thought that, but on reflection idk)

Originally Posted by Vicky.

She could be saying that for loads of reasons. Maybe she is still in denial. Maybe she is using you as a safety net incase he never goes for it. Maybe she is being honest. IDK. Go with your gut. Best advice in most situations.

Ok well thank you for all your advice, i think we're both on the same page, and my gut is telling me everything you've said, even before you said it. It hurts like mad, and i will still clutch at straws, but i know it's true, and im powerless to change any of it. We feel what we feel. That's life. These things happen to millions of people every day.

[Swan]

All this chat/advice has really helped. I still feel awful about it, but i needed some reality from real people, instead of online sites who are ultimately trying to sell you something, even if the advice comes across sound.

[Vicky.]

Yeah, real advice not online advice.. from real people who are absolutely not also online people who are not really real

I know what you mean though

[AnnieK]

Why did you cancel on her when you were meant to meet?

[Swan]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Yeah, real advice not online advice.. from real people who are absolutely not also online people who are not really real

I know what you mean though

Yeah you know what im saying

Hey, at least that made me smile

[Swan]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Why did you cancel on her when you were meant to meet?

I wasn't in a very good place, it wasn't actually her though i did have some doubts. I was drinking way too much i didn't know if i could control it when we were going to meet.

She lives 6 hours away, and i was kind of a little daunted by it. Obviously now i'd drive there today to try and make up for it, but i know that's way too irrational, even for me who tends to act on impulse.

[Beso]

Originally Posted by Swan

I wasn't in a very good place, it wasn't actually her though i did have some doubts. I was drinking way too much i didn't know if i could control it when we were going to meet.

She lives 6 hours away, and i was kind of a little daunted by it. Obviously now i'd drive there today to try and make up for it, but i know that's way too irrational, even for me who tends to act on impulse.

I suggest you jump in the car and go. Who knows until they try?

I met up with someone from here 10 years ago, we got a hotel for the night and before I knew it my balls were on here chest as she gave them a quick shave.

We spent 10 years living together after that, still friends now, infact shes my rock tbh..


So yeah, get up and go, until then you will never know what could be.