[AnnieK]

It depends on the context. If they were saying "when I met my now wife" I would know they were talking about the time we met, before we were married but as we are married I am now their wife.

I would have more of a problem if they said my "current" wife as that sounds more like they were thinking of me as a temporary thing and there could be a future wife.

As they have been married before if they said when I met my wife - there could be some confusion as to if they meant their first or second wife so by saying my now wife would explain they were talking about me.