[Conzors]

I personally rationalise it in my head in a way that makes sense for me, then something will happen or I’ll see something that will ruin me and then I’m in bed for days with my phone off.. probably not the healthiest but the last thing I want are peoples opinions on how I should feel or whether I should ‘get out and go for a walk’ kindly F off lol x

[Urban Cragou]

Originally Posted by Conzors

I personally rationalise it in my head in a way that makes sense for me, then something will happen or I’ll see something that will ruin me and then I’m in bed for days with my phone off.. probably not the healthiest but the last thing I want are peoples opinions on how I should feel or whether I should ‘get out and go for a walk’ kindly F off lol x

Haven’t seen you around since hot-mess Caroline and Gina were in Big Brother, Conzors. I’m sure you’ve grown up and learnt a lot.

How is it exactly you rationalise deaths, then? Would you be more upset if someone close to you died knowing you did everything you could to keep them alive (meaning that even if your circumstances were somewhat different you still would’ve died) or are you one of those people who prefer to hang on to whatever vestiges of indefinite hope there were (rather than feel guilty) that they might’ve still been here today if it wasn’t for circumstance X or Z? I don’t know if that makes any sense.

[Conzors]

Originally Posted by Redway

Haven’t seen you around since hot-mess Caroline and Gina were in Big Brother, Conzors. I’m sure you’ve grown up and learnt a lot.

How is it exactly you rationalise deaths, then? Would you be more upset if someone close to you died knowing you did everything you could to keep them alive (meaning that even if your circumstances were somewhat different you still would’ve died) or are you one of those people who prefer to hang on to whatever vestiges of indefinite hope there were (rather than feel guilty) that they might’ve still been here today if it wasn’t for circumstance X or Z? I don’t know if that makes any sense.

Haha perhaps even before then.
Thank you, definitely older, not sure about learning haha.

It makes sense. In my adult life, apart from pets, I haven’t had to deal with death in such a close context yet thankfully. Obviously people I know have died but nobody really close to me so I’m unable to answer that. I guess I will make up a rationale until my body decides enough is enough but one will only know when it happens.

hope you’ve been well x

[Urban Cragou]

Originally Posted by Conzors

Haha perhaps even before then.
Thank you, definitely older, not sure about learning haha.

It makes sense. In my adult life, apart from pets, I haven’t had to deal with death in such a close context yet thankfully. Obviously people I know have died but nobody really close to me so I’m unable to answer that. I guess I will make up a rationale until my body decides enough is enough but one will only know when it happens.

hope you’ve been well x

Yeah, well, I’ve had lots of close-up experience with death and enough ugly overall experiences to last me four lifetimes so that’s why I’m seeing it through a certain lens (sometimes you regret what you did or didn’t do and envision life if they were still alive). I’ve become the unforgiving type over the past 2 years (as inspiring as Joseph’s story in the Bible and experiences with having to forgive is; I actually really rate that story) but touching on what parmnion was saying people who know the truth about the things you’ve been through and not just accidentally put their foot in it or pushed you to try and move on but actively mock you/do you dirty in the heat of it are the worst. Maybe the people don’t even know you that well (or really much at all) but know your relatives are in I.C.U. with severe Covid (as was the case for lots of people, myself-included, during the pandey-ho; luckily my immediate family was spared from the worst and recovered) but talk mud on you all the whole behind your back for no reason, knowing what you’re going through. It doesn’t always have to be a case of people turning on you/going off you when someone’s actually died but their disrespectful attitude to/about you when they know you’re going through a lot at that moment. They’ll shake your head at you when they see you as if you’re the one wholly in the wrong for going through stuff. And at the end of the day my grandma (who was an awesome woman) didn’t die so poison like that could live and go on holiday every year, without a care in t’world.