[user104658]

Originally Posted by Redway

Like Niamh said (I forgot to quote her before but she made some really good points) it is quite reverse-sexist low-key for tomboyish girls to identify as the opposite sex because of internalised patriarchy/misogyny (as you pointed out). Gender is in many ways a social construct so … yeah. Just own your ‘tomboyishness’ (like Sam. off iCarly in the first handful of seasons). None of that makes you inherently a butch lesbian or non-cis. It just makes you you.

It is interesting and I think it affects males too but not to the same extent, and I think you can see that in gender expression in cis gay people over the years too. "Butch" gay women have ALWAYS been viewed as "manly" in the mainstream, whereas "less manly" gay men, whilst seen in ways as effeminate, has always been described differently, as "camp gay men" but nonetheless still distinctly a category of men, not "womanly". The latter being how it should be, of course, as you pointed out - having personality traits that are "traditionally" one gender or the other doesn't and shouldn't have to mean anything at all.

I swear I remember being quite confused as a younger kid and wondering if I "wasn't a real boy" simply because all the other boys liked football and I didn't. Which in hindsight as an adult is ridiculous - even once you get to the teens and other people start finally admitting they're not that fussed for sports either.

Again I do think there's different things going on for different people but I wonder WHAT IF it was 2023 and young-me had expressed that to my parents and they had, wanting to be understanding and affirming, said "Well yes actually maybe you are a girl!" instead of "lol not all boys like football, some of your friends love it as much as they say, some of them are just trying to fit in."