[Redway]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Yes for sure I’d be far more outgoing and optimistic I’m certain ..

… I have loads of ADHD traits and both our kids are ADHD .. thankfully neither have my autistic issues though .


As it is I’m trapped in an extremely anxious / introverted shell .. and can’t face going to live concerts or football matches , parties / gatherings etc

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Gotcha. One thing that annoys me a lot is when people meme-ify introversion as social anxiety, shyness, lacking in basic social skills/being totally “antisocial” (which as a term often isn’t really used correctly in the first place) or (when there’s a bit more cue/body language-awkwardness to it) even autism and that doesn’t help people stand a good chance of understanding the fact that introversion and extraversion (even in a purely social-dimensional, so not even full Jungian/Myers-Briggs-y, sense) are just equally normal poles on a continuum that both have their pros and cons. No-one’s 100% either anyway but contemporary Western society is quicker to lump normal (social) introversion with social anxiety, autism and incipient depression more than extraversion and the pathological/neuro-atypical equivalents of that (A.D.H.D., grandiose narcissism, bipolar hypo/mania). We don’t tend to inherently value people who want to be alone as much or understand the fact that your typical ego-syntonic introvert is no more socially anxious or on the spectrum than an extrovert who can’t sit still unless they’re actively engaged in something social is ADHD or on the brink of hypomania. Treating introversion like a mental illness or at the least a negative personality trait/social deficit to be overcome doesn’t help anyone, whether they’re neurotypical or not. We all need some degree of socialisation as well as some degree of internal awareness/sense of identity and reflection and there’s nothing wrong with either, even if the latter doesn’t show up in the most socially lively or exuberant way. It doesn’t make being quiet a bad thing or badly matched to your personality, whether you’re on the spectrum, a neurotypical introvert, an extrovert with ADHD or (less typically) social anxiety or just a bog-standard self-identifying extravert/outgoing person. It’s all about the balance.