[Redway]

For a bit of Saturday night reflection.

1. Don’t bother re-sitting whole years in sixth form unless you really need to. Uni is so, so much better than sixth-form and being 19 and still potentially having to wear a school-uniform while your mates have moved on and/or around the nation just .. yeah. It ain’t the one. Just go to uni or move on and get a job. Take your A Levels seriously from the off or just try and do something decent with what you end up with unless you really can’t. Do your thing, obviously, but if it was a case of getting BCC in my A Levels instead of AAB I’d just try and get into uni and maybe start the course with a foundation year.

Some unis don’t even acknowledge resits (in other words it’s either done in one sitting or not at all if it’s going to count) so I just wouldn’t get too hung up on hanging around in sixth form any longer than you need to. Sometimes people only barely know who they truly are before they go to uni and no matter what you come out with it’s an experience and a vibe. You might be hesitant about going to uni if you’re not sure what course is best for you to pick but once you’re there (and living away from home) you’ll get used to it and wonder what you were ever scared of. Your uni years really can be the best years of your life. Even (maybe especially) through some very difficult experiences, character grows there and you learn how to function as a young adult. Holding yourself back at key-stage five if you’re not doing it for a good reason (say you change from medicine to economics and do an extra year studying further maths and economics A-Levels on fast-track to strengthen your application to a competitive uni., or you really did that bad) is just something I could not be bothered with, especially at big 19. You might never meet people like the ones you meet in uni ever-again. You might but you might not, so take the chance. Any good experience you have in uni, capitalise on it and know many people would kill to be back in your position. Don’t have *too* much fun or get too caught up in experiences (in other words to the extent that it seriously affects your actual studies) but know that you’re in the sweet spot and have your whole life ahead of you. You’ve got a cushty student loan (even if it’s not enough these days), the responsibility of having to pay rent without the money having to 100% come from you, boujee student-accommodation designed in a way that’s just right for a young adult/bachelor, nights out to be had and the option of turning up for your 9 am lectures. You don’t really want to give up all that just to get one more B in your A Levels.

2. In this part of the world you can actually be 16/17 and have a snakebite/shandy/pint (or half)/glass of wine so long as a “responsible adult” is there wit. ’u. Even if it’s just a case of taking your mate in the same Year 13/upper-sixth as you who happens to turn 18 a month before you do. Know your rights and take advantage of them. Even if this generation of young people no-doubt drinks a lot, lot less than former generations of teenagers (inasmuch as people always like to whinge about “kids these days”).

3. Get to know yourself and be okay with who you are at uni.

4. Understand the importance of having a decent credit-score. If you go to the gym literally once every two months and you’re always defaulting on your monthly JD payments when you’re only 17, is there any point?

5. Know that nobody knows you better than you know yourself (that’s a lifelong lesson and one many people forget to remember). Doesn’t matter what random acquaintances/strangers think they know about you when your close friends and family see you in a completely different light. People’s opinions of you, for better or worse, can be true, they might be partial truths or they might be complete baloney but what they’ll never be is you. It’s all about you in this life when it comes to … you.

6. Some of your insecurities are just part of what make you you. That’s not to say that there isn’t always room for improvement or that there are certain things we won’t always, always need to work through but, like, you’re good. Don’t hang onto too much negativity. Once you get past your early 20s, a lot of those insecurities will melt some. Just use the window-opportunity you have to work on your flaws while remembering that everyone has them and that you’re not necessarily gonna rot into oblivion just-because everything about your life right-now ain’t perfect.

7. Don’t smoke/vape/bong (whatever) too much weed until you’re 21. A developing brain needs a pause. A few times a week at most. And think about taking CBD and/or other ‘mellowing entourage-cannabinoids’ while you’re at it. That goes for everyone who takes weed but especially if you’re under a certain age. The less negative side-effects you get from THC just by itself at that age, the better.

8. Do take your studies seriously. Just don’t miss the opportunity to move on. Repeating years of sixth form, again, isn’t necessary unless it’s necessary (or at least truly that beneficial). The time you’ll have there is nothing compared to uni (if you’re planning on going) and your character needs to grow. Interpersonal strengthening and learning to stand more on your own two feet is way more important than changing that C to a B.

9. Anything can end up on TikTok now. Have fun with your drink and … ya. Have your wild moments. That’s fine. But remember that some people are way too quick to get their phones out and get snapping. Most teenagers know this already but in the moment you’re not always thinking about how the embarrassment might not be worth it. Today’s teenagers seldom drink like that anyway but it’s still worth bearing in mind.

[Mystic Mock]

Don't feel pressure into being someone that you aren't.

[LaLaLand]

Make the most of your friends.

It's scary how quickly, when you hit 16-18 especially, everything starts to change and people start going their own ways (college, university, jobs etc). Those people who you spent day in/day out with for years, maybe even since you were in nursery together, are suddenly gone and in some cases you never speak to or see some of them properly ever again.

It reminds me of that quote at the end of the movie "Stand by Me":

"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?"

[LeatherTrumpet]

I'd just stick to the basics like don't trust any woman

That type of thing

[MTVN]

Don't really get your point 1 Redway - it's not like resitting a year stops you going to Uni. If anything it sets you up better for Uni instead of going to possibly a lesser institution with grades below what you're capable of. Even from a life perspective I think teens would often benefit from starting a year later and being that extra bit more mature. If anything I'd encourage more people to resit if they think they can get much better grades and even if not take a gap year. It's a long life and you'll have to work for most of it - take your time and don't always rush to the next thing

[parmnion]

Find a hill and climb it.

Parmy, 2024.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

I'd just stick to the basics like don't trust any woman

That type of thing

Omg.

[Swan]

For the boys? I'd say lose the handbags, you don't look cool, you look ridiculous. Those strapped side purse/bag things.

[Redway]

Don’t take it personally if people you went to school with who didn’t/don’t vibe with you still don’t seem to like you that much. They might have quite an outdated opinion of you and that’s nothing to do with the you of today, or the you of any other point in the past x-number of years. You’ll hopefully realise that as you get older. If they want to keep telling people that you bullied them in Year 10 even though it was more the other way around (or at least having that continued obsolete impression of you that was never really in-date or right to begin with), let them. Life’s a journey and people evolve through it. You change after you leave school and bad vibes from school are just that and are best left there. But do at least try and keep in touch with the good-vibe people from school who are genuinely your friends.

[parmnion]

Skinny Jean's in your 30s...nono gif.

[Redway]

Vape because you want to, not because you’re trying to fit in. There are worse peer-pressure vices than vapes but … ya. Don’t get into the blue raspberry menthol nicotine phase just because everyone around you is doing it. There really isn’t any need when it’s not something you actually want to. 10-15 years ago and beforehand more of the talk and dissuasion for 14-17-year-olds was about binge-drinking and smoking (smoking used to be totally legal for 16+ year-olds, though) but less of this generation of teens is really into all that. Nobody smokes in 2024 because they think it looks cool. It’s completely out of style and fashion, and you don’t see many under-23s (let’s say 23) doing it now, unless they’re on some night out and just fancy one or two for the vodka-ride (social smoking is still relatively common, but more-so in established smokers who have smoked for at least a while). But vapes are in and while they might be better and healthier than actually smoking, there’s no point going overboard with it. You’re still putting a substance into your body and excess-nicotine isn’t good, no matter whether it’s combusted or not. Too much of a good thing can be bad. Nicotine can be a mild power-boost for the body and mind so I guess by the age of 16 you can sort of decide whether you want that kind of effect in your body in moderation (that per-se ain’t a bad thing) but it should be first thing in the morning or when you need a little sharp-buzz in your head. Not continuously throughout the day. You’re still taking in nicotine, and that only has literally one or two benefits. Beyond that it’s still a toxic substance, whether you’re vaping it or smoking it.

Consider vaping CBD instead (that goes for everyone). CBD vapes come in flavours just like nicotine (although some stores have more variety than others) and unlike nicotine it’s actually healthy and good for you. Everyone’s body is just that little bit better with CBD, and I wouldn’t say it’s incompatible with good teenage development. At the very least it can do no harm.

I’ve got menthol CBD at the moment and it’s just doing its ting. I don’t vape nicotine and I’m not too comfortable with the idea of kids forcing themselves to get practically hooked on them because it’s just what everyone else is doing (and it does seem like practically everyone vapes something these days). You just don’t need to do it.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Swan

For the boys? I'd say lose the handbags, you don't look cool, you look ridiculous. Those strapped side purse/bag things.

If it makes them happy then I don't really see the issue tbh.

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by parmnion

Skinny Jean's in your 30s...nono gif.

I'm still slim enough that it doesn't give me a muffin-top, so it's okay when I do it.

[bitontheslide]

The only rule that still applies is don't eat yellow snow

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by MTVN

Don't really get your point 1 Redway - it's not like resitting a year stops you going to Uni. If anything it sets you up better for Uni instead of going to possibly a lesser institution with grades below what you're capable of. Even from a life perspective I think teens would often benefit from starting a year later and being that extra bit more mature. If anything I'd encourage more people to resit if they think they can get much better grades and even if not take a gap year. It's a long life and you'll have to work for most of it - take your time and don't always rush to the next thing

I agree, I dont think anyone should go straight from College to Uni, take a year or two out and consider other options before you commit to a course, I know alot of kids who either dropped out because they hated the course, or started a new course in their second year because again they hated the course, far too much pressure to go to Uni straight from school

[Niamh.]

There's always light at the end of the tunnel

Learn to like yourself and enjoy your own company

[Redway]

^

yep. If you didn't have introverts, you wouldn't have many scientists, writers, engineers, philosophers, psychoanalysts, poets, etc. The world might make you feel bad about being ... moderate with your active-socialising preferences but that's more a reflection of their ignorance than anything to actually do with you. Being an introvert is a good thing. Enjoying your own company is a good thing. Some people never figure that out but your teenage years are a good time to start solidifying those elements of your identity and not internalising a narrative that there's something inherently wrong with you just because you're quiet. You might get called reclusive, antisocial, timid, shy, too quiet, frosty, bla-bla-bla, but on the converse you could call extraverts overly loud, annoying, dependent, incapable of thinking for or doing anything by themselves, obnoxious and lacking in self-awareness. You want to ascribe a negative framework to either side of the pole, you can. People who are very, very outgoing have a tendency to overstep boundaries and be annoying at times but 16-19 is a good age to know those boundaries in the first place and be clear on what you are and aren’t comfortable with, and not having people trying to force you into being something you’re not.

[rusticgal]

Own your shit…show respect…and stop acting like you are entitled

[thesheriff443]

Teenagers don’t listen in the first place so trying to give them advice is a waste of time

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Cherie

I agree, I dont think anyone should go straight from College to Uni, take a year or two out and consider other options before you commit to a course, I know alot of kids who either dropped out because they hated the course, or started a new course in their second year because again they hated the course, far too much pressure to go to Uni straight from school

I'm not against education for education sake, but (for most) SFE will only fund one degree. I'd suggest people think very carefully before choosing a degree without a career path at the end.

[Alf]

Avoid the clap

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by rusticgal

Own your shit…show respect…and stop acting like you are entitled

Marcus Rashford and Eric Ten Hag say hi.

[Mystic Mock]

I want to give out advice to any potential teens that might be lurking on here that's also falling into the Incel ideology (and yes I'm deeply into discussing this topic a lot at the moment) along with Birmingham City Football Club and Jessica Meuse.

But being serious for a minute.

I think that these young guys that are being caught up in what Andrew Tate is saying I can understand to a point, because you're looking for any reason to justify in your heads as to why you're not getting a girlfriend/having sex, and because Andrew Tate sprinkles a bit of truth into the stuff that he says, you feel comfortable in believing everything that he says, because you don't feel comfortable enough to admit that you may also be playing a part in why you can't get a girlfriend.

And look, even though I probably shouldn't really be discussing my sexual matters on the Forum, I don't think that anyone would be too surprised if I said that I've never had a girlfriend or sex before, and I'm going to be turning 28 in May.

My point being that if you're an 18 year old for example, you have got plenty of years ahead of you (hopefully) that you could easily bag a girlfriend who's at least reasonably attractive with a cool personality that you personally like.

Heck! Even if you have to wait as long as I have, as long as you are respectful towards women, have confidence, and to be brutally honest with any Incel watching this, you've got to lower your standards a little bit on how attractive the woman has got to be, because a 10/10 looking woman with a great personality on top, is going to attract 10/10 guys with great personalities too, they're not being "bitches" and the guy isn't a "douchebag" just because he is better looking than you, and has got the girl that you like, it's just nature taking it's course, and if you're a 5/10 who's always constantly being miserable and moaning about how women are bitches for not wanting to **** you, then no wonder you're not getting a girlfriend, no woman is going to want to be near such toxicity.

1. Develop a more positive attitude towards life in general.

2. If you're not stereotypically the most attractive guy, then you do need to aim for women that you can realistically get, like for example Rachel Rice from BB9 was attractive, but she was more of a normal kind of attractive rather than the Supermodel look, and imo the Rachel look in my personal opinion can sometimes look better, so if you bagged yourself someone that looked like her, and she had the personality that you like, then that's not a bad thing imo.

3. You've got to be funny, comedy is always a valued treasure within society, even if Hollywood doesn't think so.

But being funny is a huge asset I think to any relationship (romantic or friendship wise.)

4. Being genuinely interested in the girl as an actual Human Being, and not just as a sex object (that should be secondary) but seriously women do in general like you to find them attractive, but not to the derogatory level that a lot of Incel type of mindset go to.

5. Knowing when to stand your ground, and when to kind of know you've maybe crossed a line with a woman during a feud, obviously this will depend on what the argument would be about, but don't be a cuck if she's treating you like a doormat (for example you have to drive her to her Boyfriend's house, and she's deliberately doing it to make you feel jealous) don't stand for that, as that's mentally kind of abusive towards you. However if you're calling her every name under the sun because she won't have sex with you, then you need to apologize, and promise that you won't speak to her like that again.

I don't know if my advice will reach any of the more young, insecure, and impressionable Incels, but even if it reaches through to just one of them, then I'll be happy.

[smudgie]

.

Be kind, be careful and enjoy your life to the fullest you can.